Gay Dad Life

Gay Dads Appear on Reboot of "Wife Swap"

The family-focused television show "Wife Swap" is back on television, only this time they're including some gay dads in the line up.

Photo credit: Drayton McJunkins

Wife Swap, a family -focused reality television show created with the premise that two completely opposite families - in every single way - swap their spouses for a week. The relocated spouse must live by the rules of the new house for a week before implementing their own rules the following week. It was hit show from 2004 to 2010, and now it's back. And this time, featuring gay dads!

Millennials, husbands, dads, and Influencers, Terrell and Jarius Joseph have two children, Aria and Ashton, through surrogacy. They live in Atlanta and are excited to be the first African-American gay couple swapping home life with a white hetero couple. We spoke with the dads to get their take on their upcoming episode (to be aired this Thursday, April 25, 9pm EST).


Gays With Kids: Tell us about your experience and emotions on being the first gay couple to appear on the show.

Terrell and Jarius: It truly is an honor to be the first gay couple on the show. We are and will always stand for inclusion for our community and making sure there is a representation for our voice. To be able to show the world what it's like being in a same-sex family and break negative stereotypes associated with it was truly rewarding. Our fight for equality is still underway, but it's an amazing feeling to actually be in the fight and be a part of history and future change.

GWK: What do you hope this episode brings for everyone outside of the LGBTQ Community?

T+J: We hope this episode allows everyone outside of our community to see that our family is rooted in love. We want people to know that our children are loved beyond measure, protected from harm, and are being taught to be kind and accepting of others who are different than them. While our family is non-traditional, we are a family nonetheless!

Photo credit: Drayton McJunkins

GWK: How did this experience affect your family after it was over?

T+J: This experience surprisingly affected us in a positive way. It let us know that we are doing the right things as a family.

GWK: Did this experience encourage you to understand the importance of learning other people's lifestyle outside of their own?

T+J: We strongly believe that we can learn something from everyone we come into contact with and this show was no different. We all have had different experiences in life that shape who we are as people today. With that said, life has provided each of us with a unique perspective on the world and we can all benefit from seeing life through different lenses. If we all embraced that, the world as we know it would be a more accepting and compassionate place.

GWK: How was it facing the contemporary hot-button issues such as politics, classism, gender, and race with the end goal of finding some type of common ground while being on Wife Swap?

T+J: It was tough to face some of the hot-button issues; especially sexual orientation. However, it was a conversation that was needed so we can show the world how it affects us as a community. We understand that growth is sometimes uncomfortable but it is necessary nonetheless. We took this opportunity with great pride because the world needs to see more families like us. Representation really does matter and we hope to inspire others to know that building their own families is possible and that the world is really changing in our favor!


Be sure to check out this week's episode on and follow these amazing dads breaking down barriers!

Check out this snippet of the upcoming show:

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Gay Dad Photo Essays

How Single Dads Are Celebrating Valentine's Day This Year

Valentine's Day is not just for lovers! We caught up with 8 single gay dads to see how they plan to celebrate Valentine's Day with this year.

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Within our community, GWK has a large group of admirable, active, and awesome (!) single dads and we want to honor them! On Valentine's Day, they and their kids celebrate their family unit in the sweetest possible ways. We asked the dads to share these moments with us, and, where possible, one of the most heartwarming things they've experienced with their kids on Valentine's Day to date.

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Politics

Colorado Republicans Try and Fail to Outlaw LGBTQ Marriage and Adoption Rights

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If enacted, the bill would have enforced "state law that marriage is between one man and one woman" and restrict "adoption of children by spouses in a marriage ... that consist of one man and one woman."

The bill, which had little chance of success, particularly in Colorado which has trended more progressive over the past several election cycles, was mostly symbolic, according to Sanridrge. "We all know this bill isn't gonna pass in this current left-wing environment," he told Colorado Public Radio. "It's to remind everyone, this is the ultimate way to conceive a child."

In a sign of how far we've come on the issue of LGBTQ marriage and parenting rights, most Republican legislators in the state did not endorse the bill.

Though the bill had little chance of passage, LGBTQ advocacy groups in the state are taking the threats seriously nonetheless. Daniel Ramos, director of the LGBTQ group One Colorado, told LGBTQ Nation that the bills were an attempt to return Colorado to its "hate status" of the 1990s, adding the aggressiveness of the measures were "a bit surprising."

Surrogacy for Gay Men

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Surrogacy for Gay Men

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Change the World

Your Marriage Should Be Gayer, Says the New York Times

In an op-ed for the New York Times, Stephanie Coontz, author of "Marriage: a History," lists the many insights LGBTQ marriages can offer straight ones.

According to a fascinating op-ed in the New York Times this week by Stephanie Coontz, author of "Marriage: a History," turns out the people convinced marriage equality — legal across the United States for five years now — would usher in the complete breakdown of civil society should be more worried about the health of their own marriages.

In the article, Coontz details the results of research that followed 756 "midlife" straight marriages, and 378 gay marriages, and found same-sex couples reporting the lowest levels of physiological distress — with male gay couples reporting the lowest. The reason for this, the author said, is pretty simple — misogyny. The idea that men and women should strive for parity in a relationship is still a fairly new idea, Coontz said, and traditional gender roles are still pervasive. Gay couples, meanwhile, are free from such presumptions, which often results in happier, healthier relationships.

The most interesting findings in the research relate to parenting. While gender norms tend to be even more emphasized among straight people once they have children, with the bulk of the childrearing falling to mothers, same-sex couples — once again freed from the stereotypes of the male/female divide — parent more equitably. As the author notes, "A 2015 survey found that almost half of dual-earner, same-sex couples shared laundry duties, compared with just under a third of different-sex couples. And a whopping 74 percent of same-sex couples shared routine child care, compared with only 38 percent of straight couples."

When it comes to time spent with children, men in straight marriages spent the least amount of time and the lowest proportion of "nonwork" time, with their children — while men in same-sex marriages spent just as much time with their children as women in a straight relationship. "The result?" Coontz writes, "Children living with same-sex parents experienced, on average, three and a half hours of parenting time per day, compared with two and a half for children living with a heterosexual couple."

Straight fathers devote the least amount of time — about 55 minutes a day — on their children, which includes things like physical needs, reading, playing, and homework. Gay mothers spent an additional 18 minutes each and straight mothers an additional 23 minutes. Gay fathers spent the most time with their children, the study found, an average of an additional 28 minutes a day.

Taken together, straight couples spend an average of 2 hours and 14 minutes on their children. Lesbian moms spend an additional 13 minutes, while gay men spend 33 more minutes than straight couples.

One factor, the author notes, that can help explain this difference is this: gay parents rarely end up with an unintended or unwanted child, whereas a full 45% percent of pregnancies in straight relationships in 2011 (the last year data is available) were unintended, and 18% were unwanted.

But right. Gay people shouldn't be parents.

Fatherhood, the gay way

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