Coming Out

Advice on Coming Out to Your Kids From Gay Dads Who've Been There

We surveyed gay dads who have come out to their kids later in life to share their top lessons and advice.

“Take it back!"

You'll often hear those three words come from the mouth of a child. Usually they're in response to a playground tease, the common kind of slander — four eyes! metal mouth! — that kids get over fast. But when California dad Steve sat his three sons on the living room couch, the news he had to share was of much greater consequence. So when his 11-year old middle son burst into tears and shrieked those three words, the reaction pierced his dad's already-anxious heart.

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They’re raising several kids, solo. And whatever the stress, they wouldn’t have it any other way.

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When Seattle husbands Rich and Brian found out they were going to be dads, their initial reaction was panic. "It was so early in the adoption process, we weren't really ready for anything," remembered Brian. "We hadn't read any books, we didn't have a crib, we had nothing... we were going to be dads and the baby was going to be here in a week!"

"I didn't really think about being a parent," added Rich, "and more what do we needed to do logistically, and how we were going to make it all work."

The dads adopted Emerson from birth and raising a girl has taught the dads a lot; they are her biggest advocates. The dads are making sure that they're "raising a girl who feels empowered and able to speak up, play sports, just as anyone else does."

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Jim Joseph has built a hugely successful career in the world of marketing. He has launched exciting new products, promoted powerful businesses, and even authored a well-regarded book about the value of branding.

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You can’t hand a child a crayon box, then ask her to be color-blind.

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Book reports. “Twilight” fan fiction. Tweets to One Direction.

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As a professional jazz pianist, Tim Clausen knows a lot about making beautiful music on his own. But in writing his new book, “Love Together: Longtime Male Couples on Healthy Intimacy and Communication," he learned more than ever about what it takes for two people to create long-lasting harmony.

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Jesse is a gay dad. He's also a son. And like most sons, he wanted to make his father proud — even if that meant dating a woman.

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Decades-spanning couples reflect on how building a family made their own relationship stronger.

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Fatherhood, the gay way

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