Gay Dad Life

Why Date Night Is So Important

When you're a parent, time alone with your significant other isn't a luxury — it's a necessity.

Even before the morning sunlight — and my eyelids — have lifted, I'm reminded that I'm somebody's father. It's usually around 5:40am when my 8-year old son Maxwell pokes his head into our room shouting "cock-a-doodle-doo" at the top of his lungs. He's usually wearing an adorably comfy onesie, a look he thankfully refuses to retire. His rooster call is followed up with strict demands in quick succession:

"Warm milk!"

"Turn on the lights."

"Where's your phone?"

"Put on Nick Jr."

"Feed me yogurt while I play Fortnite!" (Note: we don't… well… anymore.)

This Groundhog Day routine follows us as we pick out his clothes for the day —"Comfy camouflage t-shirt and sweat pants!" he insists (shoot me now). We then make him breakfast, prepare his packed lunch and then make sure his completed homework is in his schoolbag.

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Personal Essays by Gay Dads

Do Other Gay Men Judge Us When We Have Kids?

Or is it the other way around? David Blacker muses on the subject in his latest essay.

Like Whitney's infamous "Crack is Whack" interview with Diane Sawyer, I have a feeling this too will turn into one of those regrettable what-was-I-thinking moments. But I'm going to write it anyway. It's why we come to this site in the first place. To read truthful stories about gay men and their children or their desire to have children. But more importantly, it's a place we come to be open and transparent about our lives, our fears, our hopes, and sometimes, even, our confessions. That might be what this piece turns into.

Enough caveats already. Here's the thing: I've recently begun to feel as though my gay friends without children judge me for having one. Or worse yet, I've started to wonder if I judge them for choosing not to have kids. While I've clearly won over straight people as they now perceive me to be more like them — traditional family values, etc. — I feel that I've alienated my child-free gay friends who no longer feel that we want the same things out of life.

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Personal Essays by Gay Dads

A Gay Dad Discovers: Being a Single Parent is Hard AF

With his husband in New York working on an exciting new TV show, this LA-based dad gains a new appreciation for single parents.

When my husband Alex tells me he's going to be home super late, I have my go-to routine. I give our son a bath; we read bedtime stories; I tuck him in and then I go downstairs to raid the freezer for some dinner (Ben & Jerry's). Then I go down a vintage Whitney Houston rabbit hole on Youtube. Then I might check out a few other *ahem* websites, before finally falling asleep.

But what happens when Alex tells me he's going to be home in a couple of months? Now that's a very different story… with more Ben & Jerry's involved than I care to admit.

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Gay Dad Life

This Gay Dad Felt Invincible. Then, He Turned 40

"I feel like the day I turned 40," said gay dad David Blacker, "my body suddenly started falling apart."

I passed the mirror as I was about to take a shower this morning. And I saw something shiny. What in the world is that… a kernel of silver glitter from Max's art project? I got closer to the mirror to investigate.

OMG.

IT. WAS. NOT. GLITTER.

It was my first gray hair.

No, not the first gray hair on my head — that happened years ago.

It was worse. Must worse.

It was my first gray hair… down there.

I know. I was as shocked as you are.

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Personal Essays by Gay Dads

6 Tips for a Fun, Family-Friendly and Fabulous Pride Experience!

A gay dad shares some of his newfound appreciation for gay pride after attending his first ever pride event

A couple of weeks ago I did something that I never thought I'd do.

I watched “Fox & Friends."

Come on, you know me better than that.

I attended my very first Pride event.

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How great are mothers? Think about it. Not a single one of us would be here without them. They serve so many special roles in our lives and they deserve to be celebrated more than just one day out of the year. But life oftentimes gets in the way of that. And so, as this Mother's Day approaches, I'm reminded once again how fortunate I am to have been blessed with wonderful mothers in my life.

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Gay Dad Life

When a Kid With Two Dads Is Made to Feel Different

Even in liberal Los Angeles, kids with two dads can be bullied on the playground. Here's how one dad handled it when it happened to his son.

I was waiting for it. And now it has finally happened. No, I didn't get a part in the sequel to Call Me By Your Name. No, I didn't get an invitation to Prince Harry's nuptials. And sadly no, I still don't fit into last year's skinny jeans. On the contrary, it wasn't something I hoped would happen, but more like something I dreaded.

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Gay Dad Life

To All The Girls I've Loved Before

A Thank You Letter From a Gay Dad

I am not a "gold star" gay (Google it, Mom). Far from it. I have dated my share of strong, intelligent, beautiful — and admittedly naïve — women. And those relationships taught me a lot about myself and in some ways inspired me to become the man — and father — I am today. And so I figured it was time to give credit where credit's due, by thanking these wonderful girls who taught me so much about love, compassion and the importance of staying true to myself.

But first, a little backstory.

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Fatherhood, the gay way

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