Gay Dad Life

New Book Explores How Two 'Broken Souls' Met on Craigslist, Fell in Love, and Started a Family

Nick and Bryan had both almost "given up," until they met each other through a Craigslist ad.

Guest post written by Nick He, authors of "Two Dads and Three Girls"

My name is Nick. I am 100% made in China. Growing up in China, being gay was not an option. I was denied a chance to be myself. Thanks to the Chinese education system, I also was not encouraged to seek my true self. Everyday, I was told to study, get a good score, go to a college, and to make my parents proud.

Growing up in Seattle, Bryan's happy family life was shattered by his parent's divorce. He quit college and worked in a local grocery store for 18 years. He knew that he liked boys when he was little, but chose to live a faked straight life.


These two broken souls met on Craigslist in 2010. At that time both of us were going through coming out by hooking up with guys online. Starting a relationship from a Craigslist hookup was not easy, and definitely not romantic, but we managed to make it work after so many almost-giving-up moments.

We decided to forget the past by focusing on building a future and collecting memories that we will cherish. We traveled as much as we could to collect photos on our wall. We got married in 2013.

Raising a family was definitely on our mind. Growing up as an only child, I always wanted to have a bigger family. We debated between adoption and surrogacy and finally chose the latter one.

We did surrogacy twice with the same surrogate, named Chelsie. We worked with an agent during the first journey, and worked with the surrogate directly in our second journey. In our first pregnancy, we had a lot of challenges: we had to change our surrogate, our egg donor contracted an STD, and we ultimately lost a pregnancy. Our second pregnancy also came with some challenges. Our twin daughters were born at 34 weeks and stayed at NICU for 3 weeks.

During the whole journey of battling sexuality and building a family, one thing that kept me floating is what Andrew Solomon said on this TED Talk: How the Worst Moments in Our Lives Make Us Who We Are.

The gay activist Harvey Milk was once asked by a younger gay man what he could do to help the movement, and Harvey Milk said, "Go out and tell someone." There's always somebody who wants to confiscate our humanity. And there are always stories that restore it. If we live out loud, we can trounce the hatred, and expand everyone's lives.

Andrew told his story to pass down hope, to infuse inspiration, and to make the world a better place. Although my story was nothing compared to his, maybe I had a story to tell?

Maybe, just maybe, our story could help somebody who is struggling with their sexuality because of their parents, or society, or religion. When all pointers are telling them that being gay isn't an option, they need to know there's hope if they have courage and love. Maybe it could help somebody who is giving up hope in finding a life partner because it seems that everybody is just interested in sex. Or somebody who is trying to create a family through creative avenues, such as surrogacy, or who might have some hiccups in their current journey.

Two Dads and Three Girls - Trailer

With that in mind, we decided to write down our story to share with future parents. "Two Dads and Three Girls" is my memoir. It talks about searching for sexual identity, falling in love, and building a life with three girls through surrogacy.

You can grab a copy on Amazon. All proceeds of the book in 2019 will go to a charity that will decided by the readers.

We also documented the details of spending on our surrogacy journey, down to meal expenses with our surrogate. You can download the detailed list of expenses at our website 2dads3girls.com and click Free Gift.

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Gay Dad Family Stories

This Couple of 27 Years Learned to Dream Big — and Became Dads to Twins

When Jamie and Kenny first met in 1992, marriage and fatherhood seemed laughable. But as the years progressed, so did their dreams.

Jamie and Kenny have been all over the world. To be precise, they have traveled to 66 countries. So far, they hasten to add. And they used to live in London. But in their own minds, they are still two small-town country boys from Louisiana.

Their story together started in 1992, when both men were young students (Jamie was born in 1974, Kenny is just six months older) from similar backgrounds at the same university in Louisiana. A mutual friend introduced them at a cafeteria, and they hit it off.

They hailed from very small and very religious communities that disapproved of homosexuality. Without any positive role models, Jamie and Kenny had internalized those negative views: The way they looked at their own lives, they assumed they would lead lives of ridicule, be unwilling to commit to one partner, would contract HIV and soon after die of AIDS.

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"Just in three days, I see the world differently," said new dad Jeff after the birth of his son Jace.

This article is part of our family feature series with Circle Surrogacy, a surrogacy agency that has been helping LGBTQ+ singles and couples realize their dream of parenthood for the past 20 years.

"On our third date, Jeff and I discussed our desire to become parents someday, so we've always wanted to be dads," said Freddie. Jeff and Freddie Beisler-Snell met through a mutual friend and have been together 13 years, married for three. Right from the very beginning, they saw fatherhood as part of their future. In May 2019, they welcomed their son Jace via surrogacy.

When Jeff, 40, and Freddie, 36, started their journey, they began looking into adoption. Although they both yearned for a biological connection to their future kids, they didn't know much about surrogacy, or if it was a viable option for them. After doing a little more research, they attended a Gay Parents To Be event, sponsored by RMA of Connecticut taking place in Atlanta. "This event was great because it opened our eyes up to the entire surrogacy process," said Freddie. "After the event, we did some additional research on potential agencies and IVF doctors. We ended up narrowing down our search, and landed on Circle Surrogacy as our agency, and RMA-CT for our IVF clinic."

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But what about that last photo BEFORE you first became a dad? What does that image look like, we wondered? Well, we asked our Instagram community to dig through through phones and find out. Some of us are enjoying a last carefree meal or glass of wine, others of us are captured nervously contemplating our futures. Whatever it is, we've decided these BEFORE pictures are just as meaningful.

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The pairing, for any gay man who has been subjected to impossible beauty standards (not unlike... literally all women?) makes a bit too much sense after watching the new Sundance film, "Brittany Runs a Marathon," starring SNL writer Jillian Bell (as the 27-year-old) and Micah Stock as the (somewhat *ahem* older) gay dad.

Based on a true story, the film follows Brittany, an overweight and over-boozed 20-something, trying to clean up her act by training for the New York City marathon — while doing so, she meets Seth (the gay dad), and the two begin to train together, along with Brittany's neighbor Catherine. Each has their own motivation for running: getting one's live together, recovering from a messy divorce, or an attempt to impress one's athletic son. (Which is the gay dad? Guess you'll have to watch to find out!)

We won't give too much more away, apart from saying that the trio — based off of actual people and events — really works. It's the feel good film you're waiting to see.

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