Sponsored

Two Broadway Husbands Begin Their Journey to Becoming Broadway Dads

Meet Bret and Stephen of @BroadwayHusbands. Follow along as they vlog about their journey to becoming dads through IVF and surrogacy with RMACT.

Bret, a New York actor, and Stephen, a Broadway dancer, make up the dynamic duo behind @BroadwayHusbands. The two, who are no strangers to the theater, didn't know they had acting in common when they met in 2006. Their happily ever after began when they married in April 2011, and today they start the next phase of their relationship – becoming dads! Gays With Kids is extremely excited to have front row seats, as this theater duo vlog about the highs, lows, complications and revelations of their surrogacy journey.

Watch their first video to learn about their hopes and their worries, gain insight on their mindset about starting a family, and the factors that helped them choose surrogacy and, ultimately, their fertility clinic, Reproductive Medicine Associates of Connecticut (RMACT).


Meet Bret and Stephen of @BroadwayHusbands. Follow along as they vlog about their journey to becoming dads through IVF and surrogacy. Bret, a New York actor,...

If reading is more your speed, you can find a transcription below.

Bret: We are in the beginning stages of our surrogacy process. So we're learning a lot of the terms right now. We're at the beginning of our "journey" right now. And just so you know we're on vacation right now at Walt Disney World, so that's why you see Sebastian and Flounder behind us. Basically we want to have a baby so we can take him or her to Disney World!

Stephen: We're babysitting right now! That's why we're being quiet.

B: So we have been married for 7 years, and together for 11 years. I've been living in NY for 20 years, I'm an actor and singer, and have been in multiple Broadway shows

S: And I'm originally from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, and I moved to New York when in 7th grade, and I became a professional ballet dancer with New York City Ballet. And some other dancing and acting things, and I still continue to do that

B: I have a brother who's autistic, on the spectrum, and it's a genetic thing that has been passed down in the family. So knowing how difficult that was growing up with a special needs brother, we wanted to reduce the risk of that happening as much as we can. With biological surrogacy you can reduce the risk, but not eliminate it

S: Another reason we went down this route, is that my dad is an only child, and it's just my brother and myself. So it's just the 2 of us, and he and his wife aren't planning to have any babies, and I thought if I could do something about that, then I would!

B: So we went to the LGBT Center on 13th street, they do these monthly informational things just like general information for LGBTQ parenting - on adopting or the surrogacy route. I have 3 brothers – the autistic one is the oldest, and then two other brothers. Each has been married, each with multiple kids. My coming out story is that it was not easy. I grew up in Southeast Texas, and it's taken a lot of time for my family to grow to accept me, but for most of my adult life they've been very open and very accepting. What I realized that's different about the baby thing is, I don't think they realize how difficult it is for two men to have a baby. Like it makes sense to me, but for them because they can just get pregnant they don't even think about it!

S: Well we keep trying!

B: Also, I think a lot of people have an idea what our lifestyle is as Broadway performers, and they think it's so vastly different from what other people do, and it's not! It's just not always steady.

So we found out through another couple that they had gone through this organization called Men Having Babies, so we applied, and qualified for GPAP Stage 1 financial assistance. (GPAP is the Gay Parenting Assistance Program created by Men Having Babies to offer financial aid to couples who qualify). So Stage 1 is basically the most minimal level in terms of a financial discount on services and we went "Oh wait this might actually be an option, we might be able to do this". Because when we found out how much it was originally we said, "We don't have that kind of money!"

So I went to a Men Having Babies event that Stephen couldn't go to -and it was on the Upper West Side and everyone (at least from my eyes because I'm comparing myself) are like bankers and lawyers and, "We live on the Upper West Side and we gave up our share on Fire Island so we could have a baby" and I'm like "That is not my life, and I don't know how we're going to do this, but we're going to figure it out." We're just going to take it one step at a time. So like I said I went to the Men Having Babies event and I met with a doctor at RMA of Connecticut – Dr. Leondires. Without Stephen, again…

S: I was working, to try to get the money to…get this going!

B: We had a meeting, and I just felt like I was in good hands. He just explained everything to me and made it seem like it was actually manageable. And I realized that we could do this in stages – the first step is you come in, you do this whole day of bloodwork, you do all these things, and we'll freeze our sperm. Get through that first. And then we'll find an egg donor and then we'll make the embryos… and Dr. Leondires said you can do it in stages so it's not all at once.

We were asked by Gays with Kids if we would document our journey as we go, so this is the first video as we do that. We're hoping you guys will be joining us as we go on our journey and have a baby. Right now we're using credit cards to pay for this process, but we have some jobs coming up that will help us budget and pay for it.

Something that makes me feel like I want to get this going is because I just turned 39 this past week and I don't want to be too old by the time my kid is in high school.

We're going to be in Charleston NC for the next year to see if this is someplace we could settle down.

S: I'm nervous about being a gay parent anywhere, to be honest. I think that that's inherently because being gay, I've grown up a little nervous to be in new settings or new situations in general.

B: But I'm excited. What I love about being with kids is their imaginations, to play along with their imaginations! I'm excited for Easter and Christmas and for our nephew to have a cousin.

S: I'm excited to extend our family! What we have and to pass it down in every way that we can, and I think that being on this journey allows us to do that.

Gay Parents To Be®

Gay Parents To Be® is the leading international fertility program serving the LGBTQ community. Our full-suite of fertility services was founded by our Medical Director, Dr. Mark Leondires, a gay dad through surrogacy and egg donation, and leading advocate for the LGBTQ family-building community. Gay Parents To Be® is a single-source destination with a trusted partner network, including surrogacy and egg donation agencies and reproductive attorneys. We are the only East Coast IVF Clinic designated as a fully-inclusive LGBTQ Healthcare Leader by the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) .

When you're ready, we're here to welcome you: https://www.GayParentsToBe.com

Show Comments ()
Politics

Daughter of Married Gay Couple Who Used Surrogacy Abroad Isn't Citizen, Says U.S. State Department

A decades-old law can be used to discriminate against gay couples who use surrogacy abroad.

James Derek Mize and his husband Jonathan Gregg are both American citizens, but their daughter, born via a surrogate, may not be, at least according to the U.S. State Department.

The New York Times took an in-depth look at this case in a piece that ran in the paper yesterday. While James was born and raised in the U.S, his husband Jonathan was originally born in Britain. That may be enough, according to the State Department, to deny their daughter citizenship.

"We're both Americans; we're married," James told the New York Times. "We just found it really hard to believe that we could have a child that wouldn't be able to be in our country."

According to decades-old immigration law, a child born abroad must have a biological connection to a parent that is a U.S. citizen in order to be eligible to receive citizenship upon birth. Children born via surrogacy are determined to be "out of wedlock," according to the Times report," which then requires a more onerous process to qualify for citizenship, such as demonstrating that a biological parent is not only an American citizen, but has spent at least five years in the country.

The intent of the law, which dates back to the 1950s, was to prevent people from claiming, falsely, that they are the children of U.S. parents. But LGBTQ advocates argue this archaic policy is being used intentionally to discriminates against same-sex couples, who often have to rely on donors, IVF and surrogacy in order to have biologically children, and are thus held to a higher standard.

"This is where our life is. This is where our jobs are," James told the Times. "Our daughter can't be here, but she has no one else to care for her."

Read the whole story here.


Gay Dad Life

Netflix Documentary Explores a Gay Chinese-American's Path to Parenthood Via Surrogacy

"All In My Family," a new short documentary by filmmaker Hao Wu, explores his family's struggle to accept his sexuality and decision to pursue surrogacy in the United States

Filmmaker Hao Wu's latest documentary, released on Netflix this past week, explores his coming out story and his path to becoming a gay dad via surrogacy in the United States. Viewers watch as Wu comes out to his Chinese parents, who are not accepting of his sexual orientation.

As the film's synopsis notes, Wu, the only male descendant in his Chinese family, was "raised with a certain set of expectations - excel at school, get a good job, marry, and have kids." He achieves each of these goals, but as a gay man, he hasn't done so in the way his family had hoped. The film follows Wu brings his husband and children to China to meet his family, many of who are still unaware of his sexual orientation.

"I wanted to show the challenges for gay people of Chinese descent, what kind of cultural and generational barriers and differences they have to negotiate in order to build a family of their own," Wu said in an interview with InkStone.

Watch the moving documentary in full here.


Gay Dad Family Stories

This Surrogate Helped Two Different Gay Couples Realize Their Dreams of Becoming Dads

Shelly Marsh says her daughters are her "life," and wanted to share that love as a surrogate for two different gay couples.

We've shared hundreds, possibly thousands, of stories about GBT men who've become dads through the many different paths to fatherhood. We've thanked the women who've made our dreams come true; we wouldn't be dads without their, in many cases, selfless acts of love. Amongst the courageous birth moms, and our co-parenting counterparts, are the surrogates who carry our children. It's a very personal decision to become a surrogate, but Shelly's choice was simple: if she could help others experience the joys of parenthood, she would.

Keep reading... Show less
Gay Adoption

5 Ways to Know Your Adoption Agency Is LGBTQ-Friendly

So you're ready to adopt. How do you know your adoption agency won't just discriminate against you as a gay man, but is actively welcoming to LGBTQ people?

You know what is the worst? Adoption agencies who discriminate! So how do you know your agency welcomes you? Check out our list of five immediate ways to know if your agency is LGBTQ affirming.

Keep reading... Show less
Change the World

Gay Dads Featured in Enfamil Commercial

A new ad for Enfamil showcases two gay men talking about their daughter.

The best kind of inclusion is when you're not singled out but instead included right along with everyone else. This kind inclusion inspires others to pursue their own dreams and desires, just like any one else. As part of our popular culture, we know that brands are uniquely suited to inspire us in this way.

Keep reading... Show less
Gay Dad Life

Cooking with Kids: An Interview with David Burtka

David Burtka sits down with us to talk about his new book "Life is a Party."

When you're a young couple it's easy to order in or dine out on a daily basis, but when the kids come along, spending time in the kitchen to prepare nutritious and healthy meals for them can become a problem for some dads. We turned to gay dad and celebrity chef David Burtka who just published his debut recipe book Life is a Party, to get some advice, inspiration, and support as we take our baby steps in the kitchen.

Keep reading... Show less
Popular

Couple That Met at the Gym Now Spotting Each Other Through Fatherhood

How two real New-Yorkers became two soft-hearted dads

This article is part of our family feature series with Circle Surrogacy, a surrogacy agency that has been helping LGBTQ+ singles and couples realize their dream of parenthood for the past 20 years.

Byron and Matthew Slosar, both 41, met ten years ago at one of New York City's Equinox gyms. "I asked him for a spot on the bench press," smiled Byron. The couple were married September 22, 2012.

Surrogacy was always the way Byron and Matthew wanted to become parents. They chose to wait and become dads later in life, until they had established careers and the financial means to pursue their chosen path.

They signed with Circle Surrogacy after interviewing a few agencies. "We immediately connected with their entire staff, particularly Anne Watson who lovingly dealt with my healthy neuroses on the daily for 1.5 years," said Byron. "They definitely personalized the service and helped us understand all 2,000 moving parts." The dads-to-be were also very impressed with how much emotional support they received from Circle.

Keep reading... Show less

Fatherhood, the gay way

Get the latest from Gays With Kids delivered to your inbox!

Follow Gays With Kids

Powered by RebelMouse