Gay Dad Life

Trials With Twins: Traveling Edition

We're starting a new series about the highs, the lows, and the downright hilarious moments parents find themselves in while raising twins. With the number of gay, bi, and trans dads raising twins on the rise, we're sure many in our community will be able to relate. First up! Ryan Sirois Heller and Chris Heller share their experience of flying, infant twins in tow.


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We travel often. In the 6.5 months since the twins birth, they've been on 5 round-trip flights with another coming in a few weeks. Chris and I have always been big travelers, so we had a great system for getting through the airport quickly and efficiently with little to no baggage. Alas, all that changes with kids - especially two. Nothing could have prepared us for traveling with two babies — and it's been a learning process every time.

The two experienced husband travelers are now two hustling dads seen shlepping through airports with the following items:
- 2 car seats
- 2 car seat bases
- 1 stroller
- 2 personal backpacks with laptops, etc.
- 1 baby bag stuffed to the max
- 4 stuffed animals on hand
- 2 jackets
- 2 blankets
- oh, and, 2 babies
All the above totaling an immeasurable weight that would make any Crossfit junkie blush.

So what we've learned about traveling with two babies can be said in one word: downsize. You generally don't need all the crap you think you'll need, so check in as much stuff possible at the ticket counter, or have one carry on suitcase to hold everything — including your personal items.

The worst moment by far is the security gate — teamwork is key here! I usually hold both babies and walk us through the metal detector while Chris puts everything on the conveyer, flips over both car seats (because apparently you have to do that), takes care of the stroller and does the dirty work. This may seem easy, but it's a science - especially when the twins are passed out.

We've had some crazy, albeit fun, experiences traveling with Connor and Olivia. There is nothing like the wide-eyed joy your kids get from seeing the world.

All that said, best of luck when you realize BOTH babies just had massive diarrhea and the flight is boarding!

Are you a dad of twins and have your own double trouble story? Share it with us and be featured! Email dads@gayswithkids.com.

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Gay Dad Life

Cheyenne Jackson Says He's Loving that "Married With Kids" Life on Larry King

The 'American Horror Story' star sat down with Larry King to talk about his success, his siblings, and family life.

During an interview with Larry King, the "American Horror Story" actor Cheyenne Jackson spoke about what it's like being a married man with twins. "It is the best," he said.

He also mentioned that he and his husband, Jason Landau, have slightly different parenting approaches. "We definitely take different roles, naturally," he said. "I am a little bit more of a worrier. I'm a little bit more of, I guess, the mom, in terms of I'm very, very emotional and very tactile – the kids are just always on me. But I'm also more of a disciplinarian than Jason. He plays really crazy and wild with them and I'm always worried about them banging their heads against the wall. I like a really super tight schedule, and he's like, 'Let's just go with it, they're fine.'"

"A typical marriage," said King, who then asked if he and Landau had hoped to have twins.

"Yeah, well they encourage you to put two in just in the hopes that one will be a successful pregnancy. And both did."

See the whole clip here:


'American Horror Story' Star Cheyenne Jackson Talks Overcoming Addiction & Becoming a Father www.youtube.com

Fun

This Gay Dad Takes 'Twinning' to a Whole New Level

With his husband away on work, Danny Maffia was put on twin duty and filmed the experience for our viewing pleasure.

Danny Maffia and his husband Justin DeMartin became dads to twins after a three failed adoptions and two scams (read their story here). And not only did they get their family's happy ending, they are also winning at this whole twin thing!

Recently, while Justin was away for various work conferences, Danny was left holding the fort. For some fun, he decided to film his nightly routine with the twins. Remaining cool, calm and collected, in the video Danny appears to stay one step ahead of his twins at all times. Bravo, dad!

Danny was quick to follow up in his Instagram post that this was a very tame night in comparison to what it can usually be. Tame or not, Danny shows us how it's done. Our hats are off to you!

Personal Essays by Gay Dads

Why I Pursued Surrogacy as a Single Gay Man

Joseph writes about the events in his life that led him to choose surrogacy as his path to parenthood as a single gay man.

I don't even know where to begin. When people say lost for words, I never truly understood it until Friday, April 19, 2018. Email notification, "Test results. Positive. Congrats." Four words that completely changed my life forever.

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Change the World

Breaking with Older Generations,  Most LGBTQ Millenials Say They Want Kids

According to new research by the Family Equality Council, the number of LGBTQ parents is expected to rise dramatically in the coming years

According to the LGBTQ Family Building Survey, recently released by the Family Equality Council, the majority of young LGBTQ say they are interested in becoming parent. This marks a dramatic shift when compared with the attitudes of older generations.

Among the survey's findings:

  • 63% of LGBTQ Millennials (aged 18-35) are considering expanding their families, either becoming parents for the first time, or by having more children
  • 48% of LGBTQ Millennials are actively planning to grow their families, compared to 55% of non-LGBTQ Millennials, a gap that has narrowed significantly in comparison to older generations
  • 63% of LGBTQ people planning families expect to use assisted reproductive technology, foster care, or adoption to become parents, a significant shift away from older generations of LGBTQ parents for whom the majority of children were conceived through intercourse.

Despite the expected increase in LGBTQ parents, most providers, they note, "do not typically receive training about the unique needs of the LGBTQ community; forms and computer systems are not developed with LGBTQ families in mind; insurance policies are rarely created to meet the needs of LGBTQ family building; and discrimination against LGBTQ prospective parents by agencies and providers remains widespread."

The Family Equality Council goes on to recommend that family building providers "from reproductive endocrinologists and obstetricians to neonatal social workers, family law practitioners, and child welfare workers" begin preparing now to welcome future LGBTQ parents.

Read the full report here.

Change the World

Gay Dads More 'Equitable' in Parenting Roles Than Straight Dads, Says New Study

Unmoored by gender roles, gay dads take equal parts in being "playmates, caregivers, protectors, role models, morality guides,

A new study conducted by Éric Feugé from the Université du Québec à Montréal observed 46 families, made up of 92 gay dads and their 46 children over a period of seven years.

The study, which Feugé says is the first of its kind, analyzed the roles gay dads take in raising their kids and found the way they parent is 'very equitable'.

'We learned that gay fathers' sharing of tasks is very equitable,' the researcher told the Montreal Gazette, who added there was a "high degree of engagement" by both gay dads in all types of parental roles. "What's really interesting is that they don't conform to roles of conventional fathers. They were able to redefine and propose new models of cultural notions of paternity and masculinity."

Unmoored by gender roles, gay dads take equal parts in being "playmates, caregivers, protectors, role models, morality guides,' the author said.

Read the full review of the research here.

Change the World

Don't F*ck With This F*g

After a homophobic encounter on the subway, BJ questions what the right response is, in an era of increasing vocal rightwing activists

On February 1, 2019, Frank and I went out on a date night, something we haven't done in a while. Our son was sleeping over at his grandparents for the night and we made plans with our friends to meet them for dinner downtown. We decided to save some money and take the subway into town instead of taking a taxi.

We boarded the subway and sat down opposite a couple, a man and woman. I noticed they looked at us as we boarded the train and began whispering to each other. Frank and I were talking to each other when I heard the man uttering under his breath, "F*$%ing faggots."

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Gay Dad Life

14 Gay Dad Families Show Their Love This Valentine's Day

These pics of gay dads smooching will warm the hearts of even the biggest V-Day skeptics

You might quietly (or loudly) oppose the commercialism and celebration of Valentine's Day, but let's just take a moment and rejoice in these beautiful signs of affection, shared between 14 awesome two-dad families. Cynicism gone? Good.

Happy Valentine's Day, dads! We hope you have a lovely day with your kids, your significant other, and / or friends. Because who doesn't love love!?!

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