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Happy Gay Uncles Day! Hug the 'Guncle' in Your Life Today

Yes, Gay Uncles Day is a silly, made up holiday — but underneath all the smiling photos of gay men with their nieces and nephews is an important message.

It all started three years ago in August: the Internet lit up with the hashtag #GayUnclesDay, accompanied by countless adorable pictures of gay men beaming for the camera alongside their nieces and nephews. And just like that, another fake holiday was born.

But National Gay Uncles Day is not just another silly social media antic — beneath all the smiling pictures is a message that is at best aspirational — from gay men who dream of parenthood but haven't been able to make it happen for themselves —and at worst, for the many gay men not allowed in the lives of their siblings' children, a reminder of how far we have yet to go.

So yes, it's a silly, made up holiday — but one we're more than happy to support. So a very happy Gay Uncles Day to us all!



"We have a responsibility to give them exposure to people / cultures that are different from them" 

Shane and Taylor from Saint Paul, Minnesota are the proud gay uncles to six nieces and nephews

"Our nieces and nephews are from rural areas in central Wisconsin. We love that we are able to teach them about diversity, other cultures, religions, political points of view, and the world outside their tiny bubble. We have a responsibility to give them exposure to people/cultures that are different from them so that they grow to be well-rounded humans who understand that diversity is what makes the world such a beautiful place!"

Do Shane and Thomas see children in their own future?

"Absolutely! We are now doing our research and weighing the pros/cons of surrogacy vs adoptions. We are so excited to see where this next chapter will take us and we can't wait it to be dads!"

"Only the best guncles get promoted to dad"

Joey from Long Beach, California is the proud gay uncle to one nephew

"I think my favorite thing is helping to teach the little one. He's 4 and really inquisitive so sometimes he'll ask me about something about what certain animals look like, or if he can see a real race car, and I'll get to show him videos and pictures and see him light up as he discovers something new."

Does Joey see children in his own future?

"Absolutely! That wasn't always my answer. I think as I've gotten older I've gotten to appreciate the importance of marriage and family. Helping to take care of my great nephew made me realize, yeah, I could be a dad and it would be the ultimate joy of my life. Now, with dating, the most important thing I ask myself is could I see this man being dad to my future kids. I'm seeing a wonderful man now so stay tuned on that front. All I can say is only the best guncles get promoted to dad."

"I can't wait to be a daddy!"

Sven from Hamburg, Germany is the proud gay uncle to two nieces

"I love to play Barbie dolls with my nieces because I always have to be the blonde Ken with a six-pack! I imagine this is my twin! 😂"

Does Sven see children in his own future?

"Oh yes, I can't wait to be a daddy! I see myself with a house at the sea and my grandchildren will play at the beach around me."

"I love showing them that it's okay to be yourself"

Eric from San Diego, California is the proud gay uncle to three nieces and two nephews

"I love being a positive, uplifting influence to them. I love showing them that it's ok to be yourself."

Does Eric see children in his own future?

"I would love to have children of my own one day but I will not rush the process. Hopefully one day I'll be married with a couple children, traveling the world together. 😊"

"We'd love to have children in our future!"

Angelo and Kody from Raleigh, NC, are the proud gay uncles to one nephew

"We love having our nephew from California for two weeks over the summer and signing him up for various summer camps in the Raleigh area. This is our second year having him with us and we hope to continue this tradition for many years to come."

Do Angelo and Kody see children in their own future?

"Yes! We'd love to have children in the future—I think the debate between us right now is timing and whether to have one or two kids."

"Overflows my heart with love"

Miss Gina Tonic from Vancouver, BC, Canada is a proud gay uncle to one niece

"Watching my niece grow is pure magic. I love her tremendously and every second I spend with her overflows my heart with love. My husband (@chris.mak) and I love spoiling her too. 🥰"

Does Miss Gina Tonic see children in his own future?

"My husband and I are happy being guncles and aren't really thinking about kids of our own at this point; though we absolutely love kids!"

"Seeing what they like and don't like"

Kyle who lives in Chicago, Illinois is the proud gay uncle to two nephews

"My favorite thing about being a guncle (lol), would probably have to be putting different foods in front of them and seeing what they like and don't like. Also, paw patrol."

Does Kyle see children in his own future?

"I would say potentially yes, I'm pretty single at the moment so maybe in the future. I would love to adopt at some point. I'm only 29 so not until late 30's most likely though."

"We are excited to share our love of education, boating and travel with our own someday"

Anthony and Bill from Detroit, Michigan are the proud gay uncles to one niece and one nephew

"We have a unique perspective on life that we are able to share with them that is different than their parents. Being that they are still very young, we are looking forward to introducing them to community events and concerts."

Does Anthony and Bill see children in their own future?

"We do plan on having kids of our own and currently we have had one adoption consultation in order to start the process. We are excited to share our love of education, boating, and travel with a few of our own someday. For now though, we will enjoy being 'guncles' to two amazing little humans."

"Show them a positive role model"

David from Washington, D.C., is the proud gay uncle to two nieces and two nephews

"My favorite part about being a guncle is getting to be a part of my nieces' and nephews' lives and show them a positive role model. I love to spoil them all, each in their own special way, and make sure they know that they are loved no matter how far away I live from them.

Does David see children in his own future?

"I absolutely see myself having children in the future! One thing I love about coaching as a profession is getting to have a long lasting positive effect on their lives and the person they become. I don't know how many kids I will have, but I've had a lot of experience raising other people's children and I am ready to raise some of my own!"

"Showing them different types of love"

Rodney from Providence, Rhode Island, is the proud uncle to four nieces and nephew

"My favorite thing about being a guncle is showing them different types of love. On my darkest days my nieces and nephews are the brightest rays of sunshine ☀️. I love them so much."

Does Rodney see children in his own future?

"I see myself raising a big family. At least 2 children. And I will raise them to love each other and everyone else no matter what. We will recycle positive energy."

Erik from Toronto, Canada, is the proud gay uncle to one niece and one nephew

"My favorite thing about being an uncle is watching these two amazing young humans grow! It shocks me how fast time goes by, and how quickly the change, but seeing them smile, and sharing them love makes me a better person!"

Does Erik see children in his own future?

"I do see myself having children in the future, but I have always said that I will probably adopt a bit later in my life. I want to travel and live my dreams before settling completely down. I am not sure where I will settle down, and with whom yet, but I look forward to raising a couple children of my own and showing them what an amazing thing the human life can be!"

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11 Family Stories That Show the Depth of the Adoption Experience for Gay Men

November is National Adoption Awareness Month! To celebrate, we've curated some adoption stories that show the true depth and breath of the adoption experience for gay men.

November is National Adoption Awareness Month! And few people are more aware of the importance of lifting up and celebrating adoption in this country than the LGBTQ community. According to the Williams Institute, 21% of same-sex couples are raising adopted children compared to just 3% of different-sex couples. Despite the fact that we are a crucial part of the support system for children needing loving homes, we are currently facing an administration that is trying to make it legal for foster care and adoption agencies to discriminate against us on the basis of religion.

To help celebrate National Adoption Awareness Month, and demonstrate that religious beliefs should in never trump the ability for a loving LGBTQ family to welcome children into their home, we've rounded up several family stories that show the true depth and breath of the adoption experience — men who never planned to become dads, and woke up one day to find themselves responsible for little ones. Men who always wanted to become dads, and suffered through years of failed placements before finally making their dreams come true. Single men, who realized they were strong enough to adopt on their own. And men who adopted older children through the foster care system.

These are just a few of the inspiring stories of gay, bi and trans adoptive dads — we are literally sitting on a treasure trove of them. And, no doubt, there are countless more headed your way in the months to come.

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Popular

"We're Dads, the Greatest Thing We've Ever Been": Congrats to Gay Men Whose Families Recently Grew!

Wishing all of these gay dads whose families expanded a lifetime of happiness! Congrats to everyone in our community on their recent births and adoptions!

Gay men go through a lot of ups and downs on the path to parenthood. It can be one of the most emotionally draining times in our lives. But as each of these families who are celebrating births and adoptions this month agree: it's worth every hardship.

Congrats to the dads whose families grew this month!

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Gay Dad Photo Essays

Falling for Fall: 33 Photos of Gay Dads and Kids at the Pumpkin Patch

Oh my gourd, it's fall! To celebrate, we rounded up 33 pics (and whole lot of pun-kins) in our annual fall photo essay!

Don your checked shirt, grab them apples, and shine those smiles while perched on pumpkins — it's the annual fall family photo op! A trip to the pumpkin patch and / or apple orchard is a staple family fall outing, and we're here for it. 🎃🍎🍂👨👨👧👦

Thanks to these dads who shared their pics with us! Share your own to dads@gayswithkids.com and we'll add them to this post!

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What to Buy

A Gift Guide for LGBTQ Inclusive Children's Books

Need some ideas for good LGBTQ-inclusive children's books? Look no further than our gift guide!

Every year we see more books released that feature our families, and we're here for it! We're especially excited for the day when diverse and LGBTQ+ inclusive books are less of "the odd one out" and rather considered part of every kids' everyday literacy.

To help us reach that day, we need to keep supporting our community and allies who write these stories. So here's a list of some of the great books that need to be in your library, and gifts to the other kids in your lives.

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Gay Dad Life

Broadway Performer's Surrogacy Journey Briefly Sidetracked — for One Very 'Wicked' Reason

"Broadway Husbands" Stephen and Bret explain the exciting reasons they had to hit pause on their surrogacy journey — but don't worry, they're back on track!

In the latest video of the Broadway Husbands sharing their path to fatherhood, Stephen and Bret explain their hiatus for the past 4 months. The couple have big news to share including a relocation, a job announcement, and the fact that they're getting ready to restart their journey (which they had to take a brief pause from since September).

Watch their video to find out their latest news.

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Gay Dad Family Stories

These Gay Dads Lost Everything After Hurricane Dorian — Except Hope

The couple, who live in "Hope Town" in the Bahamas, lost everything after suffering a direct hit from Hurricane Dorian this past summer.

Max Bethel-Jones, 52, had traveled to more than 120 countries over the last 30 years working with the United Nations, but had never been to the Bahamas — in 2015, he decided to apply for a private teaching job as a special needs teacher in Freeport on the island of Grand Bahama.

Just weeks after his arrival, he'd get a whole lot more than another pin in his map of visited countries when he attended a social event at Freeport Rugby. "My object was to ogle the local male talent but several women had other ideas," he said. One woman was particularly insistent, he said, but after a couple of drinks she got the hint that he batted for the other rugby team. "She promptly told me there was someone I should meet."

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News

Gay Dads Told One Must Identify as 'Mother' to Enroll in Daycare

The Israeli gay dads told one must identify as mother — like a "normal couple" — in order to receive financial assistance for daycare.

Israeli dads Guy Sadak Shoham and Chai Aviv Shoham were trying to enroll their two-year-old twins in daycare when they were told by a government official that one would need to identify as the "mother" in order to be cleared.

According to Out Magazine, the couple was attempting to apply for financial aid to help pay for the costs of preschool when a government bureaucrat called them to discuss their eligibility.

"I understand that you are both fathers and understand that you both run a shared household, but there is always the one who is more dominant, who is more the mother," the government said, according to an interview on the Israel site Ynet (translated by Out Magazine). "I am just asking for a written statement in your hand which of you is the mother. From the point of view of the work, which works less than the father. Like a normal couple."

The official, apparently, said she was beholden to rules set for in the Ministry of Economy.

"It is mostly sad and a little disturbing," one of the dads told Ynet. "These are concepts that we consider the past. We do not necessarily come up with allegations against this representative, she is ultimately subject to the guidelines and as she said, they are the state. It is also sad that the state's definition of a mother is someone who works less and is at home with the children, and that we must choose which of us meets that definition."

The Ministry of Labor and Social Affairs, fortunately, issued an apology following the incident, and promised to update its protocols. "We will emphasize that the Ministry of Labor and Social Affairs practices explicitly treat all types of families and grant equal rights to all," the ministry wrote in a statement, an apology that was called "insufficient" by Ohad Hizki, the director-general of the National LGBT Task Force.

"The Ministry of Labor and Welfare must sharpen its procedures immediately to prevent recurrence of cases of this kind, as other public organizations have been able to do," he said.

Read more about this story on Out Magazine.

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