Gay dad refuses to pay for his daughter's wedding reddit

What Would You Do? Gay Dad Refuses to Pay For His Daughter's Wedding

It’s a situation no gay dad wants to have to face; you’ve supported your kids through everything, and you swear to love them no matter what. But what would you do if your child wouldn’t let your husband and son come to their wedding in order to appease their homophobic in-laws, and they still wanted you to foot the bill?

On the popular Reddit page “Am I the A**hole?” a user named LargeSeat3093 posed the question to fellow Reddit users last week about his infuriating situation.

The gay dad said he is 39, and his daughter is 21. She was born from a former straight marriage, before her father had come to terms with his sexuality. After he and her mother had an amicable divorce, the dad said his daughter was a real “daddy’s girl.”

Also, he said his daughter has always gotten along with his partner of 14 years, and their 2-year-old son. That is until recently when it came to planning her wedding in June.


"Since their future in-laws are so conservative and religious, my husband is not allowed to attend the wedding;” the gay dad explained. “I said: 'OK it’s your day.’ My son can’t attend either. No, it’s not going to be a child-free wedding. I can’t talk about my ‘lifestyle’ because she doesn’t [want to] make her in-laws uncomfortable."

If it’s possible, the dad said it gets worse. Not only is his daughter barring him from bringing his husband and his son to her wedding or talking about the fact that he’s gay, she is also still expecting him to pay for the entire wedding day. 

"I told her that if her in-laws are so important, they should pay for the wedding," he continued. "She got mad at me and called me a child, and said that if I keep on with this ‘attitude’ she’ll ask her [future in-laws] to walk her down the aisle. Then I said: ‘Fine, if my family isn’t welcomed and I’m excluded, I’m not paying for the wedding.’ She was furious and said I was being selfish, picking favorites, and not thinking about her at all."


"She complains that they can’t afford the wedding since they are both too young and reminded me it was a promise I made," LargeSeat3093 concluded his post. "Everyone including her mom is calling me selfish. So AITA here?"

A vast majority of Reddit replies took the gay dad’s side, pointing out that his own daughter is choosing to support her future in-laws’ homophobia rather than her father and his family, while trying to tap him as a bank.

"[The] daughter is immature and allowing homophobia to happen," one commenter wrote. 

"I wonder if the daughter is homophobic herself and her in-laws are easier to hide it behind?" another commenter theorized.

“She can’t disrespect and try to hide your marriage while also expecting you to pay for hers,” another said.

Of course, GWK couldn’t agree more; if you’re going to try and deny your own father’s humanity, don’t expect the Bank of Dad to be open for business.

Posted by Brit Smith

Brit Smith is a Staff Writer & Associate Editor at GWK. A native of London, England, Brit started her American adventure nannying and waiting tables in Texas in 2006, and eventually graduated magna cum laude from the University of California, Berkeley in 2017. Brit has previously written and created podcasts for WBZ NewsRadio, iHeart Media, and Different Leaf.

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