Every year, our community of gay, bi and trans dads contribute essays that are touching, funny and everything in between — that speak to the experience of having and raising children in the world today as queer men. But this year — from the intensity of navigating fatherhood amid a global pandemic, to an overdue reckoning on racial inequality — our bloggers had more poignant themes to reflect on than ever before. Here are some of our top essays written by queer dads this year.
David Blacker writes about how sheltering in place with his son helped him stop thinking about what's next, and instead focus on the here and the now.
Fran Lawn reflects on how best to support the Black Lives Matter movement — and recognizes that even within the LGBTQ community, a traditionally marginalized community, there exists a framework that allows him, as a gay white male to have privilege while people of color and transgender people continue to remain marginalized.
In April 2020, Grant Minkhorst brought us this touching essay about the state of "crisis parenting" many of us have experienced this year. "We are all looking for ways to cope with this perpetual state of uncertainty," he wrote. "It's incredible to see what some parents can do during this time. But let's make one thing clear: those families that look like they have this pandemic parenting thing all figured out are struggling just like the rest of us."
In February 2020, we spoke with eight Black gay dad families — who told us, in their own words, about the meaning of Black History Month, and what it means to be raising Black children, as queer men, in the world today.
Erik Alexander describes the first Christmas he spent with his husband, Douglas, and mother — who struggled at first to accept he was gay.
Cameron Call, who came out in summer 2019, has been poignantly chronicling his coming out journey for Gays With Kids over the past couple of years — the highs, lows and everything in between. In his most popular post from 2020, he reflect on the meaning and importance of National Coming Out Day.
Matt Mason writes about the "strange dichotomy" of life as a single gay dad in this popular essay. "Balancing dating in the midst of coming out later in life, never mind the whole parenting thing, is a struggle," he writes. "And, one that nobody really talks about."
Like all dads via surrogacy, when BJ and Frankie decided to have a child through surrogacy six years ago, they were forced to content with some difficult topics — such as what they would do in the event of discovering abnormalities within embryos, or even if the embryos split. "Would you want your surrogate to abort or use selective reduction?" they write. "These are real discussions that are needed prior to signing surrogacy contracts"