Fawzy, born in France with an Arabic background and raised in the United Kingdom and other places, is a single gay dad who lives in Paris but travels between Paris and London for work.
Always hoping to become a dad, Fawzy for a while considered having a kid with a female friend, but after careful consideration abandoned that idea. As time went by and his long-term relationship ended, he decided to become a single dad via surrogacy.
He found a surrogate in the United States, became very much involved in the pregnancy, and soon his son Ayden was born. Fawzy had provided his surrogate with recordings of his voice for her to play to him during the pregnancy. When Fawzy was whispering to his son for the first time, holding him against his bare chest, Ayden clearly recognized his dad’s voice.
Fatherhood has changed Fawzy in fundamental ways. It has taught him that life is no longer about him. It makes him feel serene and accomplished in a way that his job and professional success never did. He feels that something within himself has shifted. As Fawzy himself puts it, “In simple words … I AM HAPPY ;-)”
He has some advice: “If you ever want to do it, I would warmly recommend Sandrine, the U.S.A.-based independent consultant I worked with. She was an angel.”
“Hesitation and doubt will crop out of the wood work, time will never be right, money never enough. Somehow, when you get started it all falls into place. When you finally hold that little being against you, it feels like they have always been a part of you.”
About gay fatherhood he has the following thoughts to share: “We choose to be parents; our kids are desired: THAT IS WHAT MAKES US GOOD PARENTS.”
His friends and family have been an incredible source of support, admiring his courage and his determination to make his dream a reality. Some of them are now very involved in his life as a single gay dad.
The challenges for someone like him are many: Combining the responsibilities of two parents into one, you need to think about everything. Life can be lonely and stressful. Sometimes he needs to protect his child from gossip: “The poor little one! He has no mum …” Fawzy prefers to look at the bright side: he calls himself an SSDG, a Single Sexy Gay Dad. But he wonders, any takers?
He has surrounded himself with some great people to help him raise his son. He was able to secure a spot for Ayden at the local daycare and found an amazing nanny who helps one day a week.
He has organized his professional activity around his son. “As an independent worker I have times when I need to be away for my work and make a living, but when I’m home I’m fully present. I now stay away the shortest possible time.”
He has learned that it is important for his son to bond with other members of his immediate circle. “I have amazing parents and family and they help and support. I love to do things with Ayden – just the two of us and we are planning to go to Greece and the United States on vacation, to meet with friends who have not yet met him.”
We asked Fawzy what a perfect day for him would look like. “The day would start early, around 7 a.m. at the latest. We’d have a breakfast/bottle feeding, then a cuddle on the sofa. We sometimes fall asleep a little before I get him changed and dressed. I like to hold him against me and dance with him and speak with him in foreign languages to tune up his ear to Arabic and English. After the one-to-one bonding time, we would get ready to meet other dads for brunch and spend time outside.”
He sums his new life as a dad up thus: “My son has brought me peace and a lot of love all around to the people close to me.”
Sounds wonderful to us.
Answers have been edited for clarity.