SCOTUS and Me

First off, wow. I think the full effect of the decision, where it stands in American history, is so profound that it hits me in waves. To be a part of History, with a capital H, being touched on a personal level by a law, it makes me feel that the powers that be actually believe in me. It makes me feel connected to couples and families across the country as we are finally recognized, undeniably, irrevocably. We are here, and we won’t be marginalized.


When my ex dropped off the kids on the following Saturday, they happily informed my partner Jesse that “you and daddy can get married now” and were pretty insistent that we do it “next week.” I had been wondering whether or not to make a big deal out of it with them and it was really very affirming to hear that my ex-wife had beaten me to it.

Affirming. That’s the best word I can think of right now to describe how all of this has felt. It’s an affirmation that our love does carry weight with the government. It’s an affirmation of the faith we placed in our legal system. And, let's face it, that hasn't always been a lot. It’s an affirmation that yes, it does get better.

But as with many hard-won victories, it’s bittersweet. No amount of legislation will change what’s in people’s hearts and minds. It’s not suddenly going to make my family fully accept me. It’s not going to stop all of the hateful Facebook posts, protests or political controversy. However, what I know and love, is that this isn’t the end of the conversation, it’s a new beginning. One where we’re on a more equal footing.

And my dad did ask what kind of movies Jesse likes, so progress has been made, on all fronts.

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