For our new “Meet Gay Dads” series, we asked dads to take a short survey to answer a few basic questions about how they created their family, why they chose their path to fatherhood, questions on parenting, and whether they always envisioned their lives with kids.
Meet our first family to be profiled: Daddy Michael and Pappa Matt with their two children Estelle and Winston. Michael and Matt were married in 2008 and have been together for 13 years. The four live in Houston, Texas.
Gays With Kids: We love a good love story. How did you two meet?
Michael: I tell horrible made up stories like he picked me up at a porn set but sadly it was a gay business networking site. Totally unexciting. Still, it worked!
Gays With Kids: Why did you choose surrogacy as your particular path to fatherhood?
Michael: We wrote a parenting blog in Houston for the largest paper, the Houston Chronicle. It covered a failed adoption that nearly killed us and pushed us into surrogacy. We now have two children and have mentored many couples how to navigate the legal hurdles created in Texas (our lovely legislatures wrote into our code that only a man and woman could enter into a surrogacy arrangement so we were part of an underground network sharing how we did it).
Gays With Kids: What do you consider to be the most important lesson you are teaching your children?
Michael: What a wicked question. There are a myriad of lessons and probably twice as many learning opportunities each day. We focus on encouraging them to be independent, loving, compassionate and kind even in the face of adversity and cruelty.
Gays With Kids: Please share any advice you may have for others considering a similar path to fatherhood.
Michael: It does not matter how you come to your family, what matters is that they are your family. Our lives went from spontaneous trips to Europe, black tie galas and buying each other matching Mercedes to being vomited on in the middle of the night, changing diapers and managing temper tantrums. You know the truth, even in those grossest of moments the happy ones outweigh it. These little people have changed our lives, our focus and our appreciation for life and each other.
Gays With Kids: Did you always want kids, and if you did not always want kids, what happened to change your mind?
Michael: It was question one on the interview questionnaire I asked every guy I dated. I was hot and obnoxious back in law school. Lord knows why anyone dated me. My husband was the first person to do the same thing back. Question 1, do you want kids. We both did.