Let me start by reminding you that I was in an almost 17-year monogamous relationship, from when I was 21 until I was 38. To say the least – if you can think of it, I’ve been through it. Over those years, my ex-husband and I experienced every scenario imaginable, including adopting a child and living “the suburban dream.” So what went wrong? Well, to quote one of my friends, “Maybe it was never right.” Who knows, maybe it wasn’t. What was right was our decision to get divorced, and as you can imagine, that decision took much time and consideration. Here’s how we did it:
And here we are now. I’ve been divorced for almost a year and a half, my child has adjusted quite nicely, and we have gotten through a lot of post-divorce obstacles with grace. I would definitely agree with the saying that divorce is hell, because it is – it’s some kind of next-level hell. But it was necessary for us, and neither of us have any regrets.
I will never advise someone to get a divorce, simply because it is an extremely personal decision. I will advise you however, to listen to my journey, as I feel we did divorce “right.” I am a die-hard romantic, and look forward to hopefully marrying in the future and even starting a new family. This divorce did not ruin anything for me; in fact, if anything it made my desire to be in a loving relationship grow stronger. If you are reading this and feel like you might be headed down this path, I urge you to do whatever you can to make the marriage work. If it doesn’t however, my advice is sage and free.