I’m thrilled to say that this weekend my husband and I got to participate in breaking down one of the final barriers of pre-parenthood…the baby shower. We were invited to celebrate with our friend Jeremie as he and his wife Missy prepared for the birth of their baby girl. Previously, I had been invited to showers for couples, but this was my first experience with a “dad diaper party.” Whether you call it a “dad-chelor” party or a “man shower,” we had a great time bonding over babies and beers!
I have to admit that I have a love/hate relationship with the idea of baby showers. For one, it was difficult for me to celebrate other’s people’s happiness with having a child when I was struggling to experience my own. Their happy event reminded me of my own unhappy circumstances. Besides this personal struggle with baby showers, there was an even simpler difficulty: we often weren’t invited.
My female friends love my husband and me, but when it came to baby showers, things got confusing. If I were married to a woman, I’m sure she would have been invited. But with two guys, it was confusing and so often easier to just not invite us. Let me be clear…I have little desire to spend a day at a traditional baby shower playing games, but I do want to have the chance to celebrate with my friends.
My friends Jeremie and Missy were the first couple I know to have both a more traditional baby shower and a dad diaper party. I’m also happy to say that we were invited to both and allowed to choose which one we would attend. We ended up celebrating with the dads and had a great time. The grill was going full force, the beer was flowing, and poker was being played in the basement.
More important than being invited or having fun, however, was how easily we were accepted. These gay dads held their own with the straight dads as we bonded over diapers, bottles, and late nights/early mornings. For the first time, I felt on equal footing with the straight men at a party. I have never been able to sit around and talk sports and girls with the guys. But I can talk about babies. It was a great feeling for me.
What’s your take on baby showers? Do you prefer couple showers? Separate showers? The etiquette of inviting gay couples to showers is one that is just beginning to develop. I’m sure people have some amazing stories to share…I’d love to read your comments!