Downsizing My Life

In case you haven’t heard, I’m divorced. Something I’ve never discussed, however, is how I left.

My ex-husband and I shared a massive McMansion together and our lives were completely intertwined. When we devised our divorce agreement, we determined that splitting all of our possessions equally was ideal. You can imagine that two gay men who had been together for 17 years amassed a TON of stuff. I was the kind of person who needed not one Louis Vuitton trunk, but five. When it was finally time for me to move out, I essentially took enough furnishings to fill several homes.

I did zero editing – it was just grab and run.

It’s been over a year since that move, and now I’m moving again. I’m downsizing to a townhouse, and I couldn’t be more thrilled about it. I will no longer have spare bedrooms or a formal living room or a playroom for my son. I am excited about relinquishing these unnecessary rooms, and along with that a lot of unnecessary shit we own. I am organizing the living hell out of my life, and in the process, purging about two thirds of my possessions.

Part of me realizes that I used to fill voids with purchases. I think a LOT of us do that, and we become incidental hoarders.

Additionally, I’m a stickler for collecting things. If someone ever gifted me something from part of a series, I would immediately have to collect the rest of the series. As a result, I’m knee-deep in Swarovski crystal figurines and Pokémon cards. All things that don’t have that much value and can take up a lot of space. Valuable space – that I now must account for every square inch of.

I have mapped out the entire new place and have a mental picture of where everything must go. This comforts me tremendously and assists greatly in my organizing.

eBay is an old friend of mine. As previously noted, I collect things, so I would often turn to the site to clean up collections or get that missing thing I needed. I was always a buyer, but never a seller.

Now I am in the process of photographing and listing at least 100 items, ranging from a Disney collectible train to a Prada paisley parka. I honestly don’t care what I get for the items – just having them out of my house, out of my life, will be enough. I am horrified of the prospect of shipping, and pray that some people buy multiple items. Regardless, it will be cleansing, as if I’m burning the sage that is my life.

In addition to eBay, I’m consigning a lot of my furniture. Even though I still want all five of my LV trunks, I don’t need about one third of what I have. I did a mass scramble of all of my pieces and already have done the interior design of the townhouse. This leaves me with a lot leftover, so I am repeating my mantra of getting rid of the excess and taking what I can get. Fortunately, a girlfriend of mine owns a furniture consigning business, so she’s been very helpful.

As the stuff has been exiting my house, I wake up each morning and look around at the lack of clutter. I love it. It feels like a fresh start and I am only keeping things that I cherish.

I have a new “heirloom mentality” because of my son, and don’t want to pass down any crap. Clean living is actually a possibility for me now, and I’m going to make that happen. I want to set the best example possible for  my son, so it starts here, with me.

Downsizing my life has been extremely cathartic and I am setting a new standard to continue with this mentality. For better or for worse.


Posted by Frank Lowe

Frank Lowe is a former stay-at-home dad, best known for his online persona “gay-at-home-dad.” Now a twice-published author, find his books on Amazon!


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