Being a father isn’t always the easiest thing. I think every dad can attest to that. However, for gay men, becoming a father is often much more challenging. In fact, it can be so gruesome, so difficult that we see the challenges of kids spreading the dirt from potted plants all over the floor, sleepless nights or temper tantrums as a walk in the park.
When we embarked on our journey to fatherhood through the use of surrogacy, we had already spent years trying to become fathers through other, more “traditional” means, e.g. adoption and foster care. The book, a collection of blog posts that I kept throughout the journey, starts when we lose our last chance at becoming foster parents, and it ends after my husband’s adoption of our son is final. In between, you can read about our feelings, our trials and tribulations on our journey to parenthood.
Sadly, just as Sascha was born, India closed its borders to gay and single parents, and no change is in sight, as even more conservative winds blow through the country. However, surrogacy is alive and well, and available both in North America, but also - for those on a budget (and many are…) in countries like Nepal or Thailand.
Even though the intricacies of Indian bureaucracy no longer applies, there are a great many other things that IPs (intended parents) can learn from the book, both the emotional aspects of this arduous journey, but also lots and lots of medical insights that come with surrogacy, laced with some philosophical outlooks on how life changes when you’re pregnant.
My husband and I hope that “Dads”, available free of charge, will be useful to you, too, even if it’s only in the smallest way, or, as Scott De Buitléir of EILE Magazine writes: “A must-read for anyone considering the adoption process.”