The other day at work a colleague of mine said, “Jeez, Dave, your kid’s super cute and all but don’t you ever get tired of talking about him? Any given day, you spew off hundreds of things you love about him.”
This got me thinking …
Top 100 Things I Love About My Son
1 Hearing his voice first thing in the morning.
2 He depends on me more than anyone else.
3 When I ask for a kiss, he licks my face.
4 He uses his trundle bed as a trampoline.
5 He sings Sam Smith’s “Stay With Me" at the top of his lungs.
6 He doesn’t want any siblings because he “wants all the attention.”
7 He uses my hair to clean and dry his hands.
8 He comes into my room in the middle of the night and says, “Let’s play.”
9 He pees in the bathtub just to push my buttons.
10 He loves hummus more than candy.
11 He wants to be a fireman every Halloween. Seriously. Four Halloweens in a row.
12 He makes me feel better when I have a tough day.
13 He wants to give money to the homeless man we see on the off-ramp.
14 He doesn’t want a dog. Crisis averted!
15 He named his pet fish Gavin.
16 He loves to run around the house naked. Chip off the old block.
17 He tells me he has to poop just to stay up longer.
18 He only eats the icing on cupcakes. (Preferably green icing. He’s all about keeping it natural.)
19 He never wants to wear pants with buttons.
20 He sometimes calls me by my first name.
21 He likes the same video games I liked as a child.
22 He made up a language he speaks when he’s playing by himself.
23 He asks how much money policemen and garbage men make? Clearly I’ve been rubbing off on him.
24 He still mandates footed onesie pajamas.
25 He dislikes the same kids his Dads dislike.
26 He says hi to everyone, even the creepy neighbor his Dads are afraid of.
27 How committed he is to his toy trucks. All 478 of them. Not kidding.
28 He has us drive around following garbage trucks every Wednesday before school.
29 He gets super excited when something comes for him in the mail.
30 He sloppily eats chocolate frozen yogurt with sprinkles without worrying about the globs dripping down his face and onto his clothes.
31 He’ll only eat at one restaurant. But I don’t love that it’s CPK (California Pizza Kitchen).
32 He gives me hugs when he wants something.
33 He refers to our house as “mine house.”
34 He loves his cousins … even when they annoy him. I won’t name names.
35 He knows how to maneuver my iPad better than I do.
36 He’s well-behaved and respectful at school. (Emphasis on “at school.”)
37 He makes me pay him $1 for behaving himself when we’re around important people I want to impress (like my boss, or the cute guy at Pep Boys).
38 He thinks he can speak Spanish, but actually only knows a handful of words – coche, camión, avión and tren ... shocking, right?
39 He makes up words when reading Lego instructions.
40 He says he’s going to marry Marley, an adorable girl at preschool (he’s even written up a prenup — his idea, not ours.)
41 He gets his toolbox out every time the handyman comes over.
42 He hugs other kids when they cry.
43 He laughs at his own jokes. “Why did the chicken cross the road? Because cars were coming. Duh…”
44 The smell of his cheeks.
45 He wants to wear his camouflaged rain boots when it’s sunny out.
46 When he disagrees with us he says “Guys… guys… guys…”
47 He won’t go to sleep without a family hug.
48 He can “read” his favorite books by memory.
49 Every time he sees something advertised on TV, he says “I want that” even if it’s a Swiffer mop or hair removal cream.
50 When he doesn’t want to eat his food he says: “I have an idea, you eat it.”
51 He wants everyone to smell his feet.
52 His eyes are the color of the ocean (Not Jersey oceans… more like Hawaiian oceans).
53 He finds joy in making others laugh.
54 He keeps life interesting and impulsive. Just the other day, he suggested we have ice cream before dinner. YOLO!
55 He can go from crying to laughing with a good tickle.
56 Lollipops can fix almost any problem… except cavities.
57 He’s a dreamer and has so many plans for the future. “I want to be a doctor. No, a garbage man. No, a superhero. Actually, I want to be a racecar driver.”
58 How contagious his laugh is.
59 How curious he is and his desire to know how and why things happen. “How are Q-tips made?” Wish there was an app for that.
60 He’s always polite. It makes us feel like we’re doing something right.
61 When I look at him I see my heart.
62 He insists on wiping his boogies on my arm. Better me than our new couch.
63 He loves to draw, paint and create. He reminds me of me when I was his age.
64 Sometimes — not often, but sometimes — he lets me win when we play games.
65 He sees people for who they are and not what they look like.
66 He buries his head in my neck when he’s crying. It’s okay to cry. We all do it. Men cry. Girls cry. Children cry. My neck will always be there for him.
67 How brave he is and how willing he is to try new things (except vegetables and sleeping through the night).
68 He tells me and Papa that he wants to live with us when he’s a grown up. Wherever he is in life, he can come home. We will be here — always.
69 When his cousin fell down and cried he gave her his chocolate candy to cheer her up. He has the makings of a true humanitarian, showing real concern for others.
70 How quickly he can forgive someone.
71 He says he’s sorry when he knows he did something wrong.
72 How comfortable he is asking for help. Maybe too comfortable. Feed yourself, Max. You’re almost five!
73 He makes me sing made-up songs while keeping him company when he’s on the loo.
74 He makes us call restaurants to confirm they sell French fries before we arrive.
75 He’s very gentle with younger children at the park.
76 He has a sardonic sense of humor like his Dads.
77 He’s a born negotiator. He’s actually said: “How about we meet in the middle?”
78 He wants to buy his incredible nanny flowers every time we’re at the market.
79 He assumes that every kid he sees is just a friend he hasn’t met yet.
80 He’s a great storyteller. Maybe he’ll follow in my footsteps.
81 He snuggles up next to me and listens attentively when I read him stories.
82 How the back of his hair gets sweaty when he sleeps.
83 He asks “what’s this song about?” every time a song comes on the radio.
84 How lazy he is, always pleading with us to carry him everywhere. I would do that too if Alex could still lift me.
85 He doesn’t take no for an answer. Unless no accompanies a lollipop.
86 How possessive and protective he is of his Dads… especially when other kids try to hug us.
87 He flirts with his pretty swim instructor — he’ll ask her… “Do you like my new speedo?”
88 He makes me look away when he’s doing something naughty.
89 He calls my or Papa’s name as soon as he wakes up in the morning. And by morning I mean 3 a.m.
90 He ran up and jumped on me when I was giving the best man speech at my brother’s wedding.
91 He pretends he’s the Dad and that I’m the child. He even makes me eat all my hummus and carrots … and threatens to take away dessert if I leave any.
92 He makes me wait until at least three friends show up before I’m allowed to leave his preschool and head to work. And the twins in his class only count as one kid because they’re “basically the same person.”
93 He sends me random text messages that consist of brightly colored fire trucks, racecars and construction worker emojis.
94 He rocks a mean Sesame Street guitar even when we’re in public places.
95 He derives so much joy in telling me I’m wrong: “You wrong, Dada!”
96 He wants to proudly show everyone his monster poops. (Thank goodness he cannot blog yet.)
97 He sometimes talks in an English accent like his Papa: “Cheerio!”
98 He teams up with Papa to prank me.
99 He has to hold on to my finger in order to fall asleep.
100 That I’ve reached 100, but can go on forever …
I never imagined I had this much love to give until Max came to us. He’s taught me that my heart and my capacity to love are constantly growing. I guess that makes 101.
P.S. The colleague who finds my adoration of Max annoying was fired today. Coincidence?