Personal Essays by Gay Dads

This Love Story Starts in Provincetown and Ends in Parenthood

Joe Burke explains how his beautiful family of three came to be via a surrogacy journey

Guest post written by new dad, Joe Burke

In typical gay, New England fashion, Peter Stanieich and I met down in Provincetown the day after July Fourth. While there was an undeniable spark between the two of us, it's probably safe to assume that neither one of us expected things to progress the way it did so quickly. Both living in Boston at the time, we ended up regrouping in the city a few days after meeting in Provincetown for a couple drinks. We had so much fun that we spent almost every day and/or night together for the following two weeks.

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Gay Dad Life

Gay Dads Charlie and James, On the Inspiration for Their Popular Instagram Account

"You can't be what you can't see," James told us during Family Week in P-town this year, noting that the couple's popular Instagram account @papaanddaddy (which has over 44K followers!) is their way of helping "pay it forward."

We caught up with Charlie and James during Family Week in P-town to talk about being new dads, the importance of being around families like theirs, and the inspiration behind their popular Instagram account, @papaanddaddy.

"We are very much the beneficiaries of the campaign to win hearts and minds," James said, noting that generations of LGBTQ people had paved the way for the couple to get married and start a family. "This is our way of paying it forward. You can't be what you can't see."


Gay Dad Life

Gay Dads Greg and Phillip, On the Importance of Being Close to Other LGBTQ Families

"I think it's very important," Greg told us during Family Week at P-town of the need to expose their kids to other LGBTQ families. "Growing up, they have always known there are other kids with same-sex families.

"We're from Texas which is very conservative," Greg told Gays With Kids during Family Week at P-town this year.

"So we do a lot of activities in Houston with other gay dads and gay families," added Phillip.

"We have a pool party at least one a year where we try to invite other gay dads and some lesbians too and try to get to know everybody."

Gay Dad Life

Gay Dads Mike and Steve, On the Importance of Honesty in an Adoptive, Bi-Racial Family

"Being two white dads with four black kids it's always been a part of our functioning as a family," Mike told us during Family Week at P-town this year, adding they prioritize conversations "about birth moms, race, and celebrating the beauty of our family."

"It's definitely something I always saw myself being, was a dad," Mike told us during Family Week in P-town this year. "Coming out as gay, that was one of my biggest struggles at the time was that I thought way back then that I could not be a dad if I was gay."

Four kids later? "Clearly I'm very gay and very much a dad."

Steve's advice for dads-to-be? "Three is enough!" he said, before quickly adding, "I'm kidding! I'm kidding!"

Gay Dad Life

P-Town Talks: Gay Dad Seth, On the Importance of Normalizing Your Family

"She just needed a quick answer," Seth told us during Family Week at P-town this year, about a girl in his son's school who asked why he had two dads. "They don't see any differences amongst kids, until they're told."

"Soloman had a kid in his school when he was at a daycare we were at and she came up and was like, 'how does Soloman have two dads?'" Seth recounted for us when we caught up with him during Family Week at P-town this year.

"I was like, well, a lady gave birth to him and gave him to us, and that's how he was two dads. Isn't he so lucky?"

"She was like, 'yeah, bye!" and ran off. She just needed an answer! Like a quick answer."


Gay Dad Life

P-Town Talks: Tim and David, On Future Plans for Babies (Four-Legged and Otherwise)

"We're talking about fur babies right now," Tim said when we caught up with him and boyfriend David on the beach during Family Week in P-Town. "Gotta start somewhere!"

We caught up with Tim (30) and David (25) in P-town during Family Week to talk about their future plans for fatherhood. While some four-legged babies might be in their more immediate future, the couple says they've had some preliminary conversations about children down the road.

"I was adopted," David said, "So I was thinking of maybe eventually adopting."

Fatherhood, the gay way

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