Gay Dad Family Stories

Triple the Fun (and Diapers): Chris and Shimon, on Life With Their Triplets

When their triplets were born via surrogacy, Chris and Shimon's doctor said he'd never had so many people in one delivery room

Chris Corbett was on holiday in South Africa when Shimon Bobbout first saw him. "I was with a group of friends," recalled Shimon, "and as soon as he walked in, all of us literally looked at each other and said, 'Who's the dish?'" The two clicked right away.

Chris, who was based in Sydney, was in South Africa visiting his mom. Shimon and Chris enjoyed a holiday romance that resulted in a very special simultaneous connection. "I had mentioned to Chris that I was looking to start a family, thinking at the back of my mind that he would run for the hills," said Shimon. "However, he totally surprised me with such support and shared that he had the exact same intensions."

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Politics

Daughter of Married Gay Couple Who Used Surrogacy Abroad Isn't Citizen, Says U.S. State Department

A decades-old law can be used to discriminate against gay couples who use surrogacy abroad.

James Derek Mize and his husband Jonathan Gregg are both American citizens, but their daughter, born via a surrogate, may not be, at least according to the U.S. State Department.

The New York Times took an in-depth look at this case in a piece that ran in the paper yesterday. While James was born and raised in the U.S, his husband Jonathan was originally born in Britain. That may be enough, according to the State Department, to deny their daughter citizenship.

"We're both Americans; we're married," James told the New York Times. "We just found it really hard to believe that we could have a child that wouldn't be able to be in our country."

According to decades-old immigration law, a child born abroad must have a biological connection to a parent that is a U.S. citizen in order to be eligible to receive citizenship upon birth. Children born via surrogacy are determined to be "out of wedlock," according to the Times report," which then requires a more onerous process to qualify for citizenship, such as demonstrating that a biological parent is not only an American citizen, but has spent at least five years in the country.

The intent of the law, which dates back to the 1950s, was to prevent people from claiming, falsely, that they are the children of U.S. parents. But LGBTQ advocates argue this archaic policy is being used intentionally to discriminates against same-sex couples, who often have to rely on donors, IVF and surrogacy in order to have biologically children, and are thus held to a higher standard.

"This is where our life is. This is where our jobs are," James told the Times. "Our daughter can't be here, but she has no one else to care for her."

Read the whole story here.


Gay Dad Life

Netflix Documentary Explores a Gay Chinese-American's Path to Parenthood Via Surrogacy

"All In My Family," a new short documentary by filmmaker Hao Wu, explores his family's struggle to accept his sexuality and decision to pursue surrogacy in the United States

Filmmaker Hao Wu's latest documentary, released on Netflix this past week, explores his coming out story and his path to becoming a gay dad via surrogacy in the United States. Viewers watch as Wu comes out to his Chinese parents, who are not accepting of his sexual orientation.

As the film's synopsis notes, Wu, the only male descendant in his Chinese family, was "raised with a certain set of expectations - excel at school, get a good job, marry, and have kids." He achieves each of these goals, but as a gay man, he hasn't done so in the way his family had hoped. The film follows Wu brings his husband and children to China to meet his family, many of who are still unaware of his sexual orientation.

"I wanted to show the challenges for gay people of Chinese descent, what kind of cultural and generational barriers and differences they have to negotiate in order to build a family of their own," Wu said in an interview with InkStone.

Watch the moving documentary in full here.


Gay Dad Life

Chinese App 'Bluedbaby' Helps Gay Men Navigate Surrogacy in the U.S.

The service, Bluedbaby, started as a dating app for gay Chinese men.

Bloomberg Businessweek recently ran a story about Geng Le, a gay man from China's Hebei province who launched a gay dating app called Blued. Geng became a father with the help of a surrogacy agency in California in March 2017, and is now using his app to help other gay Chinese men start their families, too.

The app was doing well, even prior to using the app for family planning purposes. Bloomberg reports the app had 40 million users and $130 million in venture capital. But he figured many of these users, like him, would be interested in pursuing surrogacy abroad. So he launched Bluedbaby to help others navigate the complicated system.

The article goes into detail on Geng's interesting personal story. Geng was employed as a police officer and married to a woman while he secretly launched his gay dating app. After he was outed, his employed said he could keep his job if he shut down the website. He decided to quit instead, and pursue the app full time as an out gay man. His outing was difficult on he and his parents, who were shocked to learn their son was gay.

With little to lose, he began focusing all of his efforts on Blued, believing demographics were on his side. "We believe that all human beings are alike, so China, with 1.4 billion people, could potentially have 140 million LGBT members," he told Bloomberg. "Hence you have a large enough community to support an entire economy of its own."

Bluedbaby is meant to help Chinese men navigate difficult decisions involved in surrogacy journeys, such as where and how to select an egg donor or surrogate, and help with signing surrogacy contracts. The service isn't cheap, running thousands of dollars on top of the costs associated with a normal surrogacy journey. But he hopes the service will help some Chinese gay men start to fulfill their dreams of starting families.

"If, like me, you're in your 40s and you still haven't married, you still don't have children, how can you face your parents, how can your parents face their friends?" Geng told Bloomberg. "The regret is that your life isn't complete enough. The second regret is that you owe a debt to your parents."

Read the whole article here.

Gay Dad Family Stories

This Couple Made an Album of Nursery Rhymes for Children With Gay Dads

Noticing a lack of representation, these popular social media dads made up a bunch of nursery rhymes just for gay families

With over 135,000 Likes on Facebook, and 50,000 followers on Instagram, Bud Lake and Manuel Santos, dads to two children via international surrogacy, have been sharing their lives with the world for the past 4 years. They are strong believers in the importance of visibility, and they use their platform to show the world that love makes a family.

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Personal Essays by Gay Dads

This Gay Dad's Search for Reliable Surrogacy Info in Canada Led Him to Share His Own Story

Grant Minkhorst scoured the Internet for reliable info, relevant to Canada, but found "slim pickings."

When my husband and I decided that we wanted to start a family, we scoured the internet for information and resources about gay parenting. As many of you already know, it was "slim pickings," as Grandma would say. I stumbled from one website to the next with little to show for it. When I wanted to learn more about surrogacy specifically, I would repeatedly end up on surrogacy agency websites. While some included relevant information, I noticed large gaps and a countless inconsistencies. Not only that, but many of the agency websites were based in the United States where the surrogacy process differs from that in Canada. The search for a dependable resource for would-be Canadian gay fathers was frustrating and, seemingly, futile.

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Personal Essays by Gay Dads

"Two Daddies" Are Fighting to Make the U.K.'s Surrogacy Laws Modern and Safe

Surrogacy in the U.K. is bound by a law created in 1985.... and it badly in need of a makeover, say "Two Daddies"

We've had a busy old few months. Talulah recently turned 2 in October, and Katie made the big 14. Life in the Johnson-Ellis household has been far from dull.

Rewind to August and we receive an email asking us to give evidence at one of their "surrogacy evidence sessions," in view of the Surrogacy Law Reform. For those that aren't fully up to speed the UK currently is bound by the 1985 Surrogacy Act, which is in desperate need of a make over to say the least. So there's currently a group of people that come from a varied background - they may be surrogates, Intended Parents (IP's), Lawyers, Clinicians and other surrogacy experts from all corners of the globe. All with one one goal; to hopefully help drive forward and allow the UK Government to review the current laws, challenge them with a view to make the UK a more current and modern environment to create families without risk or challenge.

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Gay Dad Family Stories

Two Surrogates, Three Babies, and One Very Full House

With the help of two surrogates, these gay dads welcomed three babies into their lives in the span of two weeks

Many of us measure our lives in BC and AC stages: Before Children and After Children. And although older kids can be just as much work, not much can prepare you for the immediate upheaval of a baby. Now, multiple that by three… In Bjarke Damm and Lars Hansen's case, that's what happened. With the help of two surrogates, they became dads in the space of two weeks to three babies. After 17 years together, their family grew from two to five in a matter of days. Talk about upheaval! And how are the dads managing? Let's find out.

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Fatherhood, the gay way

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