Surrogacy for Gay Men
Gay men hoping to become dads have more options today than ever before to make that dream a reality. Regardless of your chosen path to fatherhood, start here for resources, tips, and how-to guides to help gay dads-to-be navigate the journey
Every gay dad has an inspiring story to tell. Read on for incredible examples of gay men and their families living out and proud all across the globe.
LGBTQ families are have made incredible progress in recent years, but there is still much more work to be done. Read on for news and inspiring stories about LGBTQ families fighting for equality.
Gay men wanting to adopt have more options than ever, but challenges persist. See below for tips on navigating the adoption process.
Surrogacy provides gay men with a biological connection to their child, but the process is complex. These tips help navigate a surrogacy journey.
Read through the resources below for tips on how gay dads can best navigate the foster care system.
Co-parenting can be a unique and adaptable path for gay men hoping to become dads, but you need to be prepared.
Resources to help recently out men with children navigate their newfound identities as gay dads.
Trans men face unique opportunities and challenges on their path to fatherhood, explored in the resources below.
Our contributors are exploring every aspect of fatherhood from a gay lens--the poignant, the humorous, and everything in between.
There is no one way gay, bi and trans dads form their families and we've made it our mission to chronicle them all. Check out our collection of family profiles for stories that will inspire.
A collection of heartwarming photo essays of gay dads and their families.
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'Broadway Husbands' Bret and Stephen Learn Some New Surrogacy Lingo In Their Latest Vlog

Enjoy our fourth video in our series that follows Broadway husbands Stephen and Bret on their path to parenthood via surrogacy

In our next vlog with "Broadway Husbands" Stephen and Bret, the dads-to-be talk about the process of choosing an egg donor and creating embryos.

After learning they'd have to wait for their donor to "cycle twice" before beginning, the guys offered a word of wisdom to future gay men who are interested in surrogacy:

"Just so you know they call it 'bleeds,'" Bret said.

"Yeah they said they're waiting for her 'second bleed,'" Stephen added.

"So if they tell you that, don't be shocked," Bret cautioned. "I guess that's just a phrase that they use medically?"

Bret, a New York actor, and Stephen, a Broadway dancer, make up the dynamic duo behind @BroadwayHusbands. Gays With Kids is extremely excited to have front row seats, as this theater duo vlog about the highs, lows, complications and revelations of their surrogacy journey.

Watch this latest installment of their journey and follow along as we learn about their hopes and their worries, gain insight on their mindset about starting a family, and the factors that helped them choose surrogacy and, ultimately, their fertility clinic, Reproductive Medicine Associates of Connecticut (RMACT).

Watch the video:

In this video you'll hear Bret and Stephen discuss:

The process of choosing their egg donor (0:15)

Filling out the egg donor questionnaire (0:29)

Exploring RMACT's egg donor profile database (0:47)

Bret and Stephen discuss the egg donor they selected and what they learned and loved about her (1:00)

The next steps for their egg donor; she has to cycle twice before they can do an egg retrieval (2:10)

Overall thoughts and excitement on the egg donor process (2:45)

Surrogacy for Gay Men

Surrogacy 101 for Gay Men: Learn the Basics With Dr. Ringler

Next up on the Daddy Squared podcast! Yan and Alex talk with a reproductive endocrinologist to get an overview of IVF and surrogacy options for gay men

We turned to Dr. Guy Ringler, Reproductive Endocrinologist at California Fertility Partners to get an updated overview of the IVF and surrogacy options for gay men from a medical point of view. Are you too old to have kids? How to find the right egg donor? Is IVF becoming less expensive? These and other questions are answered in this episode of Daddy Square.

"The cost [of IVF and surrogacy] is actually going up," Dr. Ringler states during the Daddy2 interview. "It's going up because everything gets more expensive, our Petri dishes are more expensive, the technology gets more expensive actually. And there's such a demand for surrogates that the amount that the agencies have to pay the surrogates goes up. So it's gradually increasing. It's not inexpensive, it's something you have to plan for."

"I tell my patients it's somewhere between the cost of a really nice car and a small house in the Midwest."


Dr. Ringler's 5 Steps to Start Your Family

1. Freeze sperm in Los Angeles
Provide a semen sample for freezing and blood for infectious disease and genetic carrier screening.

2. Select Your Egg Donor
Find your ideal donor from a diverse group of candidates.

3. Create Embryos For Freezing
Embryos are cultured to the blastocyst stage and frozen. They can genetically screened prior to freezing if desired.

4. Select Your Surrogate
Choose and meet (in person or via Skype) the surrogate mother that you would like to carry your child.

5. Embryo Transfer
Transfer your embryo(s) into the surrogate. Ten days later is the pregnancy test and the beginning of your surrogacy journey.

Terms you should be familiar with:

IVF - Stands for In Vitro Fertilization. An assisted reproductive technique that is used to treat infertility due to multiple etiologies including tubal disease, male factor, endometriosis and unexpected causes.

PGS Test - Preimplantation Genetic Screening. Testing the embryos to determine if they are genetically normal.

Egg Freezing - a revolutionary technique that provides fertility options to delay pregnancy.

Egg Donation - One of the most important factors effecting the pregnancy rate with IVF is the egg quality which is directly related to the age of the egg provider. IVF using eggs from a young and healthy egg donor provides embryos of optimal quality and pregnancy potential.

About Dr. Guy Ringler

Dr. Ringler graduated with honors from the University of Michigan before attending the Wayne State University School of Medicine. He trained in Obstetrics and Gynecology at the University of Chicago and completed a fellowship in Reproductive Endocrinology and Infertility at the University of Pennsylvania. In clinical practice in Los Angeles for over 25 years, he has developed an international reputation for excellence in all aspects of reproductive care, especially third-party reproduction utilizing egg donation and surrogacy. He was one of the world's first physicians to use assisted reproductive technologies to help gay men having children.

Dr. Ringler was awarded a Family Building award from the American Fertility Association for his work, and has been named a Super Doctor by Los Angeles Magazine. He has lectured around the world to help educate members of the LGBT community about family-building treatment options. He continues to work and live in Los Angeles with his husband, architect Mark Rios.

Episode Credits:

Co-Hosts: Yan Dekel, Alex Maghen
Guest: Dr. Guy Ringler, Reproductive Endocrinologist at California Fertility Partners
Music: Hercules & Love Affair, "Leonora" buy here
Articles referred to in this episode:
Where to Start If You're A Gay Couple Wanting to Have Kids (Yan Dekel, Daddy Square blog)
Get Ready for Embryos From Two Men or Two Women (Dr. Guy Ringler, Time)
Men Having Babies:
The 14th Annual NY Men having Babies Surrogacy Seminar & Gay Parenting Expo is coming up November 10-11, 2018
Unsung Heroes: Surrogate Mothers to Same-Sex Couples (Dr. Guy Ringler, The Advocate)
A Strip Mall Gay Bar in Detroit Helped Me Come Out (Dr. Guy Ringler, The Advocate)








Surrogacy for Gay Men

Gay Dad Tom Daley Working on BBC Documentary About Surrogacy

Tom Daley will be bringing a documentary to the BBC that focuses on surrogacy in the U.K., the U.S. and elsewhere in Europe.

Tom Daley announced recently that he has teamed up with the BBC to bring a documentary about his experiences with surrogacy to the small screen. The Olympic diver, along with husband Dustin Lance Black, welcomed a baby boy to their family via surrogacy this past summer.

Daley hopes to use the opportunity to provide an in-depth look into a typical surrogacy journey, from the medical requirements to the legal and financial aspects that such arrangements require.

The documentary will largely focus on the use of surrogacy in the U.K., according to Deadline, where the practice is legal but highly regulated. But Daley will also travel to California, where rules are much more permissive, and to countries where the practice is still illegal.

The documentary is set to debut in 2019. We'll be sure to tune in, and keep you posted!

Personal Essays by Gay Dads

Gay Belgian Dads Give Detailed Account of Their Two Surrogacy Journeys in the U.S.

Gay dads Wim and Dirk pen a detailed essay to give a glimpse into what the surrogacy process is like in the United States as a foreigner.

Written by dads Wim and Dirk.

At first we didn't know about the surrogacy possibilities in the United States, so we prepared ourselves for adoption. We followed the mandatory adoption courses, as most gay couples in Belgium do when they want to have children. We started with the international adoption course but when most countries closed international adoption for gays we decided to give up international adoption and go for national adoption. While we were in the process of being evaluated (psychologically, financially, ...) we read an article in a newspaper about a gay couple that was expecting a child through surrogacy. We managed to contact them and they've told us their surrogacy journey.

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These Public Servants Afforded Surrogacy with the Help of a Financial Assistance Program for Gay Men

Mario, a social worker and John, a Special Education teacher, never thought they'd be able to afford surrogacy. Then they found the Gay Parenting Assistance Program through Men Having Babies.

For those without the financial means, surrogacy can seem like an unattainable dream. But there is one organization that is offering assistance to make that dream a reality; Men Having Babies offers to ease the monetary burden for those who simply cannot afford surrogacy through the Gay Parenting Assistance Program (GPAP).

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Gay Dad Life

Gay Dads Charlie and James, On the Inspiration for Their Popular Instagram Account

"You can't be what you can't see," James told us during Family Week in P-town this year, noting that the couple's popular Instagram account @papaanddaddy (which has over 44K followers!) is their way of helping "pay it forward."

We caught up with Charlie and James during Family Week in P-town to talk about being new dads, the importance of being around families like theirs, and the inspiration behind their popular Instagram account, @papaanddaddy.

"We are very much the beneficiaries of the campaign to win hearts and minds," James said, noting that generations of LGBTQ people had paved the way for the couple to get married and start a family. "This is our way of paying it forward. You can't be what you can't see."


Surrogacy for Gay Men

Gay Dads Greg and Phillip, On the Importance of Being Close to Other LGBTQ Families

"I think it's very important," Greg told us during Family Week at P-town of the need to expose their kids to other LGBTQ families. "Growing up, they have always known there are other kids with same-sex families.

"We're from Texas which is very conservative," Greg told Gays With Kids during Family Week at P-town this year.

"So we do a lot of activities in Houston with other gay dads and gay families," added Phillip.

"We have a pool party at least one a year where we try to invite other gay dads and some lesbians too and try to get to know everybody."

Surrogacy for Gay Men

Surrogate for Gay Couple Pens Emotional Essay About Her Experiences

Lindsay Curtis penned an emotional essay for HuffPo Personal about her experiences serving as a traditional surrogate for a gay couple

In an emotional essay for HuffPost Personal, Lindsay Curtis writes about her experiences serving as a traditional surrogate in order to help a gay couple start their family. As she notes in her essay, traditional surrogacy, when the surrogate uses her own eggs to help conceive a child rather than use donor eggs, is much less common than gestational surrogacy, when the surrogate is not genetically related to the child.

Of her decision to serve as a traditional surrogate, Curtis writes: "In my early 20s, my maternal instinct went into overdrive and I felt a deep desire to get pregnant. I knew I wasn't ready to become a mother, as I was still in college and working part-time as a nanny. After watching a news segment on surrogacy one evening, I turned to my partner at the time and said, 'I want to do that.'"

As a lesbian, Curtis specifically wanted to help a male same-sex couple become dads. Within days of posting an ad online, she wrote, she heard from a gay couple who lived only three hours away.

"We exchanged a flurry of emails, talked for hours on the phone, met in person weeks later and within two months, I was pregnant with their child ― my biological daughter."

After Curtis gave birth, she says, she "I drove to my own home with empty arms and a broken heart."

The feeling of emptiness even led her to serve as a surrogate yet again. "Defying reason, I became a surrogate once more," she wrote, "giving birth only 15 months later to another healthy baby girl. Any therapist would tell you I was recreating trauma to gain some semblance of control over the situation the second time around.

Eventually, Curtis would give birth to her own daughter, named "Evelyn," which she notes means "wished for child." But she says her experiences as a traditional surrogate has left a lasting impact:

"Surrogacy changed the way I loved ― I became more guarded with my heart. It changed the way I saw mothers with their babies. At times, jealousy would overcome me as I watched mothers play with their toddlers in the park while I looked after the children I nannied. And although I had satiated my desire to experience pregnancy, my maternal instinct never quieted ― it only grew louder."

Read the whole essay here.

Fatherhood, the gay way

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