Become a Gay Dad

How Much Does Surrogacy Cost Gay Men?

Here's a breakdown to the most common costs associated with surrogacy journey for gay men

Most gay couples know that surrogacy costs are substantial. But just how steep is the price tag?

The short answer: It won't be cheap. The average cost of a surrogacy journey in the United States is roughly $120,000. However, the total cost can vary greatly depending on a number of factors. Below are some of the common costs associated with a successful surrogacy journey for gay men:


Egg Donation: $10,000 -$15,000

You can expect to spend around $15,000 to participate in an egg donor program at your agency. This fee will cover the costs of screening, evaluating, and compensating your egg donor, as well as associated legal fees. Costs may be higher, however, if you choose to work with an experienced egg donor, or if you need to cover any travel-related costs.

Gestational Carrier Costs: $40,000-$80,000

Your "gestational carrier" is the woman who will carry your baby (check out this article for a full list of important terms related to surrogacy). Reputable surrogacy agencies in the United States generally compensate their gestational surrogates upwards of $30,000-$40,000. The total you will be responsible for depends on a number of factors, however, including: the state she lives in and whether or not she is a first time gestational carrier. (Experienced carriers typically get paid more.) If your gestational carrier does not have health insurance, the fee for a gestational carrier can be considerably higher, which explains the drastic difference in price possibilities.

Agency Fees: $25,000-$30,000

Many surrogacy agencies will charge upwards of $30,000 for their services. This cost can considerably lower, however, if you only require the services of their egg donor program, or only need to be matched with a gestational carrier.

IVF Procedure: $15,000-$25,000

These fees cover the costs associated with creating and transferring embryos to your gestational carrier via In Vitro Fertilization (IVF). (While some health insurers cover the costs of IVF for heterosexual couples who are experiencing infertility, this benefit has not yet been extended to same-sex couples in most instances.)

Legal Fees: $5,000-10,000

These fees help cover the costs associated with the legal proceedings that help establish your parental rights.

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Shocked by the prices? You aren't alone! Fortunately, there are some options for gay men and couples to bring down the surrogacy costs. Men Having Babies, for instance, offers grants to prospective gay dads who can't afford the full cost of becoming biological parents on their own. Most surrogacy agencies also partner with lenders, who can talk with you about different loan opportunities to afford the procedure. Lastly, many gay men have successfully crowd-funded the money they need to help them afford the journey. Get some tips for starting your own crowd-funded campaign here.

Thinking about surrogacy for your path to parenthood? Check out these 6 Surrogacy Tips Every Prospective Gay Dad Needs to Know.

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Surrogacy for Gay Men

Gay Surrogacy in the U.S. for International Dads

Kristin Marsoli of Circle Surrogacy breaks down the process of surrogacy for gay men outside of the United States

Written by Circle Surrogacy & Egg Donation, who has been helping international gay men become dads for over two decades.

Becoming a gay dad through a surrogacy agency in the U.S. – when you live outside of the United States – can feel overwhelming. You may have questions such as: Why should I come all the way to the US for surrogacy? What do I need to know as an international intended parent? How do I get my baby home?

We spoke with Circle Surrogacy & Egg Donation who has been working with international gay parents for over two decades. Circle Surrogacy was founded by a gay dad and lawyer, and is the most successful surrogacy agency with a full legal team on staff who are experts working with international parents.

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Researching surrogacy but feel like it's all Ancient Greek to you? You're not alone! The surrogacy process is filled with jargon, so we've started this surrogacy glossary of commonly used terms every gay dad should know as he embarks on the surrogacy journey.
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Become a Gay Dad

Jewish Agency to Help Cover the Costs of Surrogacy for Gay Couples

Isaac Herzog, of the Jewish Agency's Chairman of the Executive, has made it a priority to support employees family-planning journeys, regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity.

According to an article in the Jerusalem Post, the Jewish Agency for Israel is about to become first state organization to provide financial assistance to gay employees seeking child surrogacy services overseas. The move is intended to help offset the high costs associated with conducting surrogacy abroad.

The move to do so was led by Isaac Herzog, the Jewish Agency's Chairman of the Executive, who has made it a priority to support employees family-planning journeys, regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity. The decision will apply to the agency's roughly 1,250 employees. The loans can be used to help cover the costs of necessary medical procedures before surrogacy, and for the process of surrogacy itself, the article notes.

Last year, in a controversial move, the Israeli government expanded the ability of single women to access surrogacy services in the country, but excluded single men and gay couples from the policy.

Herzog said the following in announcing the new initiative:

"We are also making a symbolic statement, because it reflects the egalitarian stance of a large organization that is recognizing the right of every man or woman to actualize their wish to be parents and to raise a family, regardless of gender identity or sexual orientation. The Jewish Agency is one big family, and all its members are equal."

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COVID-19 has shaken the whole world to its core. From one part of the globe to the other, it has all but stopped life as we know it. This scenario seems all too reminiscent of something that the American South will never forget. Living in New Orleans, Louisiana we are accustomed to dealing with evacuations and disasters because of hurricane season each year. From June to November, we are on alert. As you can imagine, Hurricane Katrina's lasting effects really taught us how to deal with disaster prep along with recovering from the aftermath.

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Politics

Gestational Surrogacy Legalized in New York State

The Child-Parent Security Act, which legalizes commercial surrogacy in New York State, was included in the 2020 New York State Budget signed by Governor Cuomo

Yesterday, a years-long battle about the state of compensated gestational surrogacy came to an end in New York when the Governor signed into a law the Child-Parent Security Act in the 2020 as part of the state budget.

The effort stalled last year after opponents, including several Democrats, successfully argued that the bill didn't go far enough to protect women who serve as surrogates — even though it included a surrogate "bill of rights," the first of its kind in the country, aimed at ensuring protections.

"Millions of New Yorkers need assistance building their families — people struggling with infertility, cancer survivors impacted by treatment, and members of the LGBTQ+ community," the Family Equality Council said in a statement about the victory. "For many, surrogacy is a critically important option. For others, it is the only option. Passage of the Child-Parent Security Act is a massive step forward in providing paths to parenthood for New Yorkers who use reproductive technology, and creates a 'surrogate's bill of rights' that will set a new standard for protecting surrogates nationwide."

Opponents, led by Senator Liz Krueger, had once again attempted to torpedo legalization efforts this year by introducing a second bill that would legalize surrogacy in New York, but also make it the most restrictive state in the country to do so. "A bill that complicates the legal proceedings for the parents and potentially allows them to lose their genetic child is truly unfortunate," said Sam Hyde, President of Circle Surrogacy, referencing to the bill's 8-day waiting period. He also took issue with the bills underlying assumptions about why women decide to serve as a surrogate. The added restrictions imply that "they're entering into these arrangements without full forethought and consideration of the intended parents that they're partnering with," he said.

The bill was sponsored by State Senator Brad Hoylman, an out gay man who became a father via surrogacy, and Assemblymember Amy Paulin, who has been public with her experiences with infertility.

"My husband and I had our two daughters through surrogacy," Holyman told Gay City News. "But we had to travel 3,000 miles away to California in order to do it. As a gay dad, I'm thrilled parents like us and people struggling with infertility will finally have the chance to create their own families through surrogacy here in New York."

"This law will [give intended parents] the opportunity to have a family in New York and not travel around the country, incurring exorbitant costs simply because they want to be parents," Paulin said for her part. It will "bring New York law in line with the needs of modern families."


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Just Like Dad: Ways My Kids and I Are Alike

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Editor's Note: This is the third in a series of excerpts from Joseph Sadusky's new book, Magic Lessons: Celebratory and Cautionary Tales about Life as a (Single, Gay, Transracially Adoptive) Dad. The book contains many stories about my life as a dad, as well as lessons learned, and we're excited to share several excerpts from the the book over the course of the next few months. Read previous installments here!

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