Personal Essays by Gay Dads

This Guy Refused to Wait for His Prince Charming Before Becoming a Dad

Most coverage of LGBTQ parents features couples, says our new blogger Steven Kerr. As a single man, that doesn't represent his experience.

I sat nervously in the car with my mother and father. It had taken almost four years to arrive at this moment. I had parked just around the corner from the convent, knowing that in just a few minutes I would meet my new daughter for the very first time.

I received the call two days prior. I had been shopping in the centre of town when I saw the missed call just as my phone died. I rushed home to plug in the phone and access the voicemail. It was June 2009.

"Hello Steven. This is Teresa from the adoptions department. We have an 'indecent' proposal for you. Can you come in before 2pm to discuss?".

I looked at my watch. It was 1:45pm. I drove like a madman retracing my steps back to the council offices to receive their proposal.

Now three days later sitting in my small, black Fiat Punto, I was nervously trying to get my head around the events of the past 48 hours, yearning to hold my daughter in my arms for the first time.

Little did I know that the nuns had no plans on handing over my daughter that morning…


Hi everyone! My name is Steven Kerr and I am a gay dad. But I am a single. I set out to be a single father through adoption as I had no time to wait for that Prince Charming. I even did a national adoption in a country not my own. I have a lot of stories and anecdotes to share and which will hopefully resonate with many of you.

I read many blogs regarding gay men with children and what stands out is that the stories are always about gay couples and their journeys together. Everything looks so perfect and balanced. Unfortunately, that just does not reflect my experience. Gay single parents exist and we are just as successful, working to set our kids on the right path and build solid futures for them.

I want to celebrate that and so through this blog I would like to become a voice for this group of gay men who are raising their children alone.

Me

I am originally from Edinburgh, Scotland. I finished business school and travelled around living and working in London, Berlin, Paris, and finally New York City. I was a free spirit working professionally but with no real plans of settling down.

In 2002 I decided to move back to Europe and headed to Spain to spend a couple of months with my parents who had retired there. I wanted to hit the beach, learn some Spanish and figure out what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. I was 32 years old.

Wow, did the Universe have other plans! Now looking back 17 years later I am still in Spain but have been sharing my journey for the past 10 years with a beautiful daughter. I adopted her in 2009 when she was just 7 months old. She was profoundly deaf and very ill with acute ear infections. Now she is healthy and thriving with bilateral cochlear implants.

I am a proud single dad and she is my love and joy.

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