Gay Dad Family Stories

Their Hearts Were Stolen First, Say These Foster Dads; Then Their Last Names

Foster dads Santiago Gutierrez and Cesar Espinoza have opened up their homes, and hearts, to a sibling group of two

Santiago Gutierrez, a 29-year-old digital moderator, and Cesar Espinoza, a 38-year-old technician, met 10 years ago while Santiago was working as a server at a restaurant. Cesar was there dining with friends, and even from afar, he was immediately taken by Santiago. He found out through another waiter that Santiago was single, so he left his name and number on a napkin, and a couple of days later Santiago texted him. After some back and forth, they met up for their first date. This past May 1, 2018, they were married.

Kids were always part of the plan for this San Antonio couple but an opportunity to become dads came into view a little earlier than planned. At the end of 2015, they found out that an acquaintance was pregnant, but did not want to be a parent. They raised the prospect of taking on that responsibility. "We were living a comfortable life and we wanted to share that with kids and provide happiness and love," said Santiago.


Time passed and they never heard anything, after their initial inquiry. They knew the little boy had been born on January 26, 2016. Later, they found out later that he had been born testing positive of heroin. In April, they received a call from Child Protection Services (CPS) asking if they were interested in caring for the little boy, named Zachariah. Without a moment's hesitation, they said yes. They began fostering Zachariah at the end of April.

The dads watched their son closely for any lingering signs of affects from the heroin. "We had him tested for his cognitive and development and he passed." He was a very healthy and active little boy. "Today, he's three years old and he knows his primary colors, alphabet, and his numbers one through 15 in English and Spanish," shared Cesar proudly.

During this time caring for Zachariah, Santiago and Cesar were terrified of losing their son. CPS's goal is always to reunify children with their biological families, when possible, and Zachariah's birth father was fighting to have his son in his care. But the biological father wasn't able to comply with the court's requirements. Santiago and Cesar also made a strong case to Zachariah's caseworker, showing their commitment to their son and their extensive support network.

On March 28, 2018, Zachariah's adoption was finalized and he officially became part of their family, legally. The adoption sign the dads created for their son read, "I stole their hearts, now I'm stealing their last name!"

But their family wasn't done growing.

On October 13 of the same year, Zachariah's biological mom gave birth to a baby girl called Mariana. "We didn't know the mom was pregnant again until we got a call from the grandma," said Cesar. The husbands immediately went to visit their son's sister and found out she, too, was born testing positive for heroin, but thankfully without any signs of withdrawal.

With the biological grandmother already caring for four of her daughter's kids, she was unable to look after Mariana, so the dads quickly stepped in to foster her through a kinship arrangement. They will continue to foster Mariana for a year to give her mother a chance to met the requirements set by the law. If after a year, this hasn't happened, the birth mom's rights will be terminated and the dads plan to enthusiastically and lovingly adopt Mariana.

"We are considered family since we have the siblings so at the point, so if the mom has more kids we get the call," said Santiago.

As of February 2019, Mariana is a healthy almost 5-month-old baby who is very alert and active, and the dads are now licensed foster parents and plan to continue growing their family. "Anything we can do to help out these kids that deserve love and attention," said Santiago.

We look forward to watching this family grow.

Show Comments ()
Gay Dad Family Stories

Adopting an Older Child Through Foster Care Was the Best Path for These Dads

After learning more about older-child adoption through You Gotta Believe, Mark and Andrew decided it was the best way for them to form their family.

"Hey! I got adopted today! These are my dads, Mark and Andrew!"

Jeremy was 16 years old when he found out his new dads wanted to adopt him.

In late August 2017, husbands Mark and Andrew Mihopulos, 34 and 36 respectively, remember driving out to the east end of Long Island. They knew at the very same moment they were driving, social workers were letting Jeremy know they wanted to adopt him. "We expected Jeremy to be hesitant or feel mixed emotions," shared Mark. "We didn't know how he would feel about having two dads and about having white parents and family, as he is a black young man."

Keep reading... Show less
Change the World

Tennessee Drops Anti-LGBTQ Adoption Bill Amid Growing Opposition

Amazon, the Tennessee Titans, and Taylor Swift were among those calling on the state to drop an anti-LGBTQ adoption bill

This past week the sponsor of a so-called "religious freedom" bill in the Republican-dominated Tennessee State Senate, which would have permitted state welfare agencies to discriminate against prospective LGBTQ adoptive parents, requested the piece of legislation be pulled, effectively killing it for at least this year.

The bill, which had already been approved the the House, was widely expected to be passed and signed into law, so the sponsor's request surprised many. No explanation was given for the move, thought the Washington Post hints that increasing corporate pressure may have helped play a role. Both Amazon and the Tennessee Titans joined a growing list of companies speaking out against the discriminatory bill.

Taylor Swift, a native of the state who is increasingly wading into the political realm, also joined the fray by donating $113,000 to the Tennessee Equality Project, an advocacy group fighting the bills. In a handwritten note to the group's Executive Director, Swift wrote: "I'm so inspired by the work you do, specifically in organizing the recent petition of Tennessee faith leaders against the 'slate of hate' in our state legislature. I'm so grateful that they're giving all people a place to worship."

This good news follows Michigan's recent decision to rescind its own "religious freedom" law last month, though eight states currently still permit discrimination against prospective LGBTQ adoptive parents, and a bill is pending in Arkansas that would do the same.

Change the World

Bill Allowing Discrimination Against LGBTQ Adoptive Parents Advances in Tennessee

Tennessee's anti-LGBTQ adoption bill still needs to be passed by the State Senate and signed by the Governor before becoming law.

Just this past week, we received the good news that Michigan will no longer permit state welfare agencies to discriminate against LGBQT parents in adoption proceedings, bringing the total number of states with so-called "religious freedom" exemption down to 9.

However, anti-LGBTQ advocates in two states, Tennessee and Arkansas, are both attempting to pass similar statewide "religious freedom" bills. The effort in Tennessee just received a major boost after passing the state's House of Representatives on Monday. The bill still needs to be passed by the Senate and signed by the Governor, both of which are currently controlled by Republicans.

Chris Sanders, the executive director of Tennessee Equality Project, put out a statement saying, "If this bill becomes law, same-sex couples, people of various religious beliefs, and people with no religious beliefs now face the prospect of being turned away from adoption agencies that they helped fund because they are labeled morally or religiously objectionable, which leaves children and youth with longer wait times for permanent homes."

Will be sure to keep readers posted as the story unfolds in both Tennessee and Arkansas.


Gay Dad Family Stories

Philippe "Swiped Right" on This Handsome Young Dad

At first, Philippe wasn't sure he could date a man who was a dad. But Steve, and his son Gabriel, have helped him realize a "fatherly side" of himself he didn't know he had.

"It's been one hell of a ride since the beginning," said 26-year-old Steve Argyrakis, Canadian dad of one. He was 19 when he found out he was going to be a dad and the mom was already several months along in her pregnancy. Steve, who lives in Montreal, was struggling with his homosexuality but wanted to do the "right thing," so he continued to suppress his authentic self. "I was so scared about the future and about my own happiness, that I had put aside my homosexuality once again."

A couple of months later, little Gabriel was born, and it was love at first sight.

Keep reading... Show less
Entertainment

Ain't No Party Like a Gay Dad Dance Party

Gay dads singing and dancing with their kids is EXACTLY what you need to get your weekend started right.

Who jams to Led Zeppelin with their kids?

Who rocks some sweet moves to Kelly Clarkson?

Who sings along with their kids in the car?

Who breaks it down with a baby strapped to them in a carrier?

We all do! But these guys happened to catch it all on tape for us to enjoy! Thanks dads. 😂

Keep reading... Show less
Personal Essays by Gay Dads

This Dad Went 'Numb' After a Painful Failed Adoption, But Learned to Love Again

After a painful failed adoption that brought these gay dads to the brink of realizing their dream of fatherhood, Paul "went numb" for several months before trying, and succeeding, again

In the fall of 2010, what was suppose to be a non-committal daytime date in Seattle, ended up being 3 days of sharing life experiences, unpacking emotional luggage and the moment I realized I had met my future husband. Just under four years later, we were saying "I Do", and became Paul and Jamie Trudel-Payne.

Jamie, a devilishly handsome All-American freelance writer, came from a tightly woven, kind and virtuous household. While I, Paul, a cute (ish) bi-racial (Mexican/Caucasian) small business owner, came from a somewhat intrusive, rambunctious and very large Hispanic family. The desire and support received from both families was immense and just six months after being married, we began the adoption process.

Wearing rose-colored glasses we quickly learned that our adoption journey was going to be anything but rosy.

Keep reading... Show less
Gay Dad Life

4 Emotional Videos of Gay Dads Meeting Their Children for the First Time

Watch four emotional videos of gay dads meeting their children for the first time!

"It was love at first..."

"Uninhibited caring and love..."

"It's instant and it's overwhelming..."

It's true. For many of us, those first precious moments are tales we're excited to one day share with our kids, telling them how much we wanted to be their dads. Whether it's tears of joy, a loss for words, a fist pump in the air, or an immediate "I love you," we'll each remember the first time we laid eyes on our children.

Watch these four first moment videos of these amazing dads, and we guarantee, they'll be no dry eyes in the house.

Keep reading... Show less

Fatherhood, the gay way

Get the latest from Gays With Kids delivered to your inbox!

Follow Gays With Kids

Powered by RebelMouse