Gay Adoption

Same-Sex Adoption Facts

Here are five surprising facts about same-sex adoption in the United States.

Maybe you've gone through the adoption process already and fancy yourself an expert on the topic. But how many of these lesser known and surprising facts about LGBTQ adoption did you know?


#1: More Same-Sex Couples in Mississippi are Raising Children Than Any Other State

Mississippi was the last state in the country to legalize same-sex adoption. However, more LGBT couples are raising children in the Magnolia State than in any other in the country! According to the Williams Institute at the UCLA School of Law, 27 percent of same-sex couples in Mississippi are raising children. The District of Columbia ranks last, with 9 percent of same-sex couples raising children.

#2: Gay Couples Are Four Times More Likely to Adopt

Same-sex couples are four times more likely than straight couples to be raising an adopted child. In fact, in the United States around 16,000 same-sex couples are raising more than 22,000 adopted children.

#3: Same-Sex Parents are More Likely to Adopt a Child of a Different Race

Same-sex parents are more likely to adopt a child of a different race than straight couples. One reason for this is that LGBT individuals are also more likely to be involved in an interracial couple than heterosexual couples.

#4: Americans Are More Supportive of Same-Sex Adoption Than Marriage

Americans are more likely to support adoption rights for LGBT people than marriage rights. In 2014, the last year Gallup polled on the issue, 63 percent of respondents supported the ability of LGBT couples to adopt. That same year, 55 percent of respondents said they supported marriage rights. (In 2016, Gallup found support for same-sex marriage had grown to 61 percent.)

#5: Children Are Just As Well Off With Same-Sex Parents

The largest peer-reviewed study on the subject of LGBTQ parenting found there is no difference in the wellbeing of children raised in same-sex versus opposite-sex headed households. And in fact, some studies have found slight benefits in emotional stability and physical health for children raised in same-sex households!

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Meet the Gay Dad Running For Common Council in South Bend, Indiana

Move over Mayor Pete Buttigieg! South Bend, Indiana may soon have another gay politico in the form of Alex Giorgio-Rubin, a dad of a 12-year-old adopted son.

You've probably heard of Pete Buttigieg, the young gay mayor running to be the Democratic nominee to challenge President Trump in 2020. But the town of South Bend, Indiana, may soon have another gay politico rising star in the form of Alex Giorgio-Rubin, a dad to a 12-year-old son.

Alex is running for a seat on South Bend's Common Council, in part, he says, to help make all families – including ones like his own – feel welcome.

As an out, married, gay dad, living in a Jewish household, raising a son who is on the Autism spectrum, Alex feels he can offer a unique perspective. "We come from the state that produced Mike Pence," said Alex. "We come from the state that made national headlines because of a bill that would allow businesses to discriminate based on sexual orientation; it's fair to say that the cards are stacked against my family, and many, many other families like mine."

Alex, who is currently a stay-at-home dad raising his adopted son, 12-year-old Joseph, is married to Joshua Giorgio-Rubin, a Senior English Lecturer at the Indiana University of South Bend. The two have been together for six years.

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Gay Dad Family Stories

These Two British 'Poofs' Blog About Their Journey to Fatherhood Via Adoption

In their blog "Two Poofs and a Pudding," Tim and Darran write about their adoption journey as same-sex parents in the U.K.

Tim and Darran met online in December 2015. They met for a drink on December 18, and by New Year's Eve they were "official." When the subject of becoming dads came up, they were both excited but at a loss as to where to start. In 2017, after deciding adoption was the right path for them, they began their journey and in the process, started a website to chronicle their experience and to help others who were considering same-sex adoption in the UK: Two Poofs and a Pudding. Fast forward 18 months, their "Pudding" is at home with his dads. Here's their experience with the UK adoption journey, so far.

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Gay Dad Life

New Dad Andy Cohen Uses Today Show Appearance to Talk About Complications Facing Gay Men on Path to Parenthood

New dad Andy Cohen talked about the challenges facing many gay men when trying to decide between adoption and surrogacy

Bravo's Andy Cohen, who recently became a new dad via surrogacy, has wasted no time drawing attention to many of the complicated choices facing gay men on their paths to parenthood. During a recent appearance on the Today Show, hosts Savannah Guthrie and Hoda Kotb asked him how he made made the decision between adoption and surrogacy.

Cohen noted, first, that he was lucky to have the means to do surrogacy, which costs an average of $120,000. But he also noted there would have been complications on his path, no matter which route he had chosen. Surrogacy, he noted, is not legal in all 50 states. "It's incredible to me, as I've now learned, that surrogacy isn't legal in all 50 states," he said. "It's illegal in New York and New Jersey, which is why I went to California."

Cohen then also drew attention to the difficulty many LGBTQ people face trying to adopt. Though he stated it was "illegal to adopt" for gay people in certain places, this is technically not true. (The Supreme Court's marriage equality ruling in 2015 paved the way for LGBTQ people to adopt, legally, in all 50 states, but some states have since passed laws that make it legal for state-licensed welfare agencies to discriminate against LGBQT people on the basis of religion).

Still, we applaud Cohen, who also recently opened up to People Magazine about his journey to fatherhood, for using his platform to speak out about challenges facing gay men who want to become dads.

Watch the whole segment here.

Gay Dad Life

Internet Conflicted About Advice Given to Closeted Gay Dad in the Guardian

Ok fellow gay dads: if you were the advice columnist at the Guardian, what would you have said?

Recently, in a post titled "I met my girlfriend's parents – and realized I once slept with her father," a man wrote into the advice column at the Guardian with the following predicament:

"Five years ago, I went through a bi phase and used to sleep around with pretty much everyone that came along, including other men. This changed when I fell in love with my new partner, who is everything to me. I recently met her parents and halfway through lunch realised that I had slept with her father. I was going to propose, but when my partner and her mother were away, he told me to end it with his daughter. I'm obviously in love – shall I just ignore him, or tell my partner?"

Pamela Stephenson, the Guardian's columnist, responded as follows:

"I am not sure you could ever have a comfortable future with your new partner. To tell the truth would be to court disaster: a probable break-up, plus the risk of a permanent rift between father and daughter and father and wife. Hiding the truth would lead to toxic secret-keeping that could be equally destructive in the long run. If this whole family was as open-minded and sexually open as you, it might be possible for you to become part of it. However, the father – your former lover – has made it clear that you will not be welcome. Walk away now, and avoid the massive pain that would otherwise be inflicted on your partner, her family and yourself."

Not all commenters agreed with Stephenson's advice.

"Assuming your girlfriend knows that you were bi until falling in love with her and that you slept with everybody in your path [which she deserved to know up front anyway] then you can give HER the option what to do with this bond, rather than leaving the choice to her dad," said one commenter.

Another said, "Walking away without explaining why would be callous and also allow the father to escape the possible consequences of his actions."

It's worth noting that none of these commenters, nor the columnist, are or will ever be gay dads, whose perspective on this bizarre situation may be uniquely valuable. Many gay dads have become fathers while still in the closet. And even those who became dads after coming out can still sympathize with the detrimental impacts of the closet on our lives and those of our families.

So what say you, gay dads, about this man's predicament?

Gay Dad Family Stories

This Women's History Month, Gay Men Honor the Gals Who Help Make Them Dads

Each and every man becomes a dad with the help of a woman. We asked gay dads to honor one who helped them along in their path to parenthood to help us celebrate women's history month.

Each and every one of us became (or will become) a dad with the help of a woman--more often than not, with the help of multiple women. So this Women's History Month, we choose to celebrate these women by asking you to tell us a bit about them. Enjoy these inspiring stories below. Want to honor a woman in your life who has helped you become a dad? Tell us about her at dads@gayswithkids.com

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Gay Dad Life

These Gay Dads Know How to Make Holidays Extra Super Special

Adam and Josh got engaged on Good Morning America on Valentines Day, and welcomed their Christmas miracle baby into their lives on December 26th

Picture this: Valentine's Day 2015, Adam and Josh Klocke were among 24 other couples ice skating in Bryant Park as part of a Good Morning America segment. Lara Spencer was hosting while Christina Perri sang "A Thousand Years" on top of a piano. Midway through, she stopped and Lara reported technical difficulties. This was the cue that the knowing members of each couple had been waiting for. They each dropped to one knee and asked for their partner's hand in marriage. Adam recalls, "It was such an amazing experience that we will never forget." 18 months later, they were married.

While their engagement was a life-changing experience, another for the husbands was welcoming their Christmas miracle, Baby K, via adoption on December 26, 2018. She was just two days old. Here's their story.

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Gay Dad Life

Gay Dad Settles Discrimination Suit Against LA-Based School

A single gay dad claims an LA-based school did not adequately protect his two daughters who were reportedly bullied on account of his sexual orientation.

According to MyNewsLA, a single gay dad settled his suit against an LA-based school, Pressman Academy of Temple Beth Am. The man, who is unidentified, alleged that his two daughters were discriminated against in the school on account of his sexual orientation.

Identified only as "John Doe" in the complaint, the single gay dad reportedly grew up in Israel and chose Pressman Academy for his daughters "because it is supposed to be the best school that would instill those same values in his children." The school apparently took issue, however, with John Doe's sexuality.

According to the suit, teachers and other staff members at the school repeatedly asked the sisters to bring a "woman figure" to the school's Mother's Day celebration, for instance. School staff also did not intervene to prevent bullying of the daughters, one of whom was reportedly called an "orphan" because she lacked a mother, and teased to the point of telling a school therapist that she was contemplating suicide.

The terms of the settlement were not made public but the girls, thankfully, now attend another school.

Fatherhood, the gay way

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