Gay Dad Family Stories

Signing With Two Adoption Agencies to "Double Their Chances," These Dads Won Big with Both

Days after welcoming their first son into their home, Ryan and Brandon received "the call" from a second adoption agency.

Ryan and Brandon Bolton met in a bar in Chicago in early 2012. Brandon, a professional hair and make-up artist, was touring with a show and happened to go to the same bar that Ryan used to frequent. They eloped in August 2012 and were married in New York.

In June 2013, they moved to Florida, where they began researching their fatherhood journey. "We were going to attempt surrogacy, but the costs were too high," said Ryan. "Adoption was something that was feasible." The husbands decided they needed to get a few puzzle pieces in place before signing, and Brandon was touring on various shows while they saved. They eventually moved forward, signing with their first agency, Adoption Center US, in January 2015.


During their home study, their social worker asked if she could recommend them to another agency, Legal Person, so they could work with two simultaneously. The dads-to-be were more than happy for the recommendation and were excited to move their journey along as quickly as possible.

"We knew we wanted a baby and figured that using more than one agency doubled our chances of getting one soon. We'd heard stories of people waiting for years and we didn't want to fall into that," said Brandon.

In September 2015, they were matched with a birth mom through Legal Person. Brandon and Ryan jumped at this opportunity to become dads, and in January 2016, they welcomed their eldest son Derek.

Then, two days after bringing Derek home, they received a call from Adoption Center US.

"Anita (from Adoption Center US) called us and said there was another baby that needed a home and thought we would be a great fit," said Ryan. "We kept her on speaker phone, wrote notes back and forth and finally Brandon wrote "yes/no" and he circled yes, so did I and that was it. We knew he was meant to be with us and I got to go meet him the following morning."

Parker joined the family just days after his big brother.

Initially, the dads only had to get a second car seat to accommodate their quickly growing family; they had everything else. "We had talked before about all of this and decided we ultimately wanted two children. This decision fast-tracked that, but we felt it was meant to be."

Brandon and Ryan knew that kids were going to be part of their lives together from day one, and were fortunate that everything "just kind of fell into place." That hasn't meant the transition from couple to parents of two kids almost the same age has been easy. "It is very hard and takes a lot of patience," shared Ryan. "Not that there aren't a million amazing aspects, there are. Every stage comes with it's own set of challenges and if you're looking to start a family, just brace yourself for that. Don't look for one phase to be done, thinking that the next will be flawless. I think knowing what to expect - as much as you can - really helps."

Brandon and Ryan's three-and-a-half-year-old sons Derek and Parker have taught them a lot. "I didn't know how intensely I could feel about protecting someone until we met them." Brandon (Papa) and Ryan (Daddy) are completely in love with their two kids and wouldn't change a thing.

Show Comments ()
Gay Dad Family Stories

These Adoptive Dads Gained an Extended Family Through Foster Care

Adoptive dads Edward and Andrew have maintained a close relationship with their twins' biological family.

Celebrating gay, bi and trans fatherhood is what we do on Gays With Kids. We rejoice in whatever paths our community took to become parents. But many of those journeys come with heartbreak, sometimes for the intended parents, and sometimes for the biological family from whom the adoption or foster placement occurs. With an open adoption, the adoptive and biological families come to an arrangement which best benefits the child, and that's when something truly beautiful can occur. This isn't always possible in every scenario, but when it does, we're exceedingly thankful. Can a child ever have too many family members loving them? Not likely. This was husbands of five years Edward and Andrew Senn's experience.

Keep reading... Show less
Expert Advice

Together, We Can Reinvent the Foster Care System

Molly Rampe Thomas of Choice Network calls on ALL adoption agencies to be LGBTQ-inclusive

There are nearly 500,000 children in the foster care system. We think it is time to dig deep into the roots of an imperfect system. We think it is time to create lasting change for the children in our communities who need it the most. We think gay dads are the perfect partner in this work!

Here is how we think the foster care system could be reinvented:

Keep reading... Show less
Gay Dad Family Stories

How Parenting Boys Helped This Gay Couple Discover New Strengths

Billy always imagined himself raising daughters — instead he's raising two sons.

Eight years ago, Billy and Joseph Saponaro, 31 and 33 years old respectively, met on a dating app. They both knew they wanted something meaningful, so they decided to go on a date. On July 9 this year, they celebrated their fourth wedding anniversary.

Keep reading... Show less
Surrogacy for Gay Men

A Dream Becomes Reality, After a Men Having Babies Conference

New Yorkers David and Brian said their dreams of fatherhood crystalized only after receiving a "ton of information" at a Men Having Babies conference.

New Yorkers David F.M. Vaughn 39, and Brian Becker, 37, are new dads. Over the past three months, the two most important things they've learned as fathers is "patience, and how to swaddle LIKE A CHAMP!" David and Brian chose surrogacy as their path to fatherhood, but making that decision was one of the more difficult parts of their journey. Brian's siblings are adopted, and while they still want to make adoption part of their family journey, certain opportunities arose that made their surrogacy decision easier. Brian's sister enthusiastically offered to be their gestational surrogate, and they discovered more about the process with the help of Men Having Babies (MHB).

But let's jump back to the beginning of their story.

Keep reading... Show less
Foster/Foster-Adopt

Your Foster Adopt Questions Answered by a Foster Adopt Dad

We asked our Instagram community to send us their questions about being a foster dad — and an experienced foster dad responded.

Dad Joseph Bostick (read his story here) recently shared his experience as a foster and adoptive dad with our Instagram community via a question and answer session - did you feel nervous at the beginning? How did you start the process? Did you always know that you wanted to foster older kids?

Read Joseph's responses below.

Keep reading... Show less

Gay Surrogacy in the U.S. for International Dads

Kristin Marsoli of Circle Surrogacy breaks down the process of surrogacy for gay men outside of the United States

Written by Circle Surrogacy & Egg Donation, who has been helping international gay men become dads for over two decades.

Becoming a gay dad through a surrogacy agency in the U.S. – when you live outside of the United States – can feel overwhelming. You may have questions such as: Why should I come all the way to the US for surrogacy? What do I need to know as an international intended parent? How do I get my baby home?

We spoke with Circle Surrogacy & Egg Donation who has been working with international gay parents for over two decades. Circle Surrogacy was founded by a gay dad and lawyer, and is the most successful surrogacy agency with a full legal team on staff who are experts working with international parents.

Keep reading... Show less
Coming Out

My Gay Shame Is Officially Cancelled

After years of feeling ashamed of being gay, David Blacker has finally overcome it. And his son had a lot to do with it.

Scrolling through my social media feeds, reading all the posts about National Coming Out Day reminds me just how valuable it is for us to share our stories and be as open, vulnerable and authentic as possible. Warning: this article is about to get real AF, so now might be a good time to switch back to the Face-Aging app that gives Russia all your personal data.

Oh good, you stayed. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Keep reading... Show less

Fatherhood, the gay way

Get the latest from Gays With Kids delivered to your inbox!

Follow Gays With Kids

Powered by RebelMouse