Gay Dad Life

These Gay Dads Went Viral After 'One Direction' Star Niall Horan Tweeted This Photo

After boarding a 10-hour transatlantic flight with their 18-day-old daughter, these dads handed out a note apologizing in advance to fellow passengers for any fuss. One of those passengers was former "One Direction" singer, Niall Horan.

Earlier this year, two first-time gay dads wrote a courtesy note for their fellow airline passengers, informing them that this was their newborn's first flight and how she would "do her utmost to be on her best behavior to ensure that you have a peaceful flight." Little did they know that this note, its accompanying goodie bag and sweet photo would end up in the hands of fellow passenger and former One Direction star, Niall Horan. Horan tweeted a photo of the goodie bag and attached note, and the twittersphere exploded with heart-eyed smiley face emojis. The tweet pulled on the heartstrings of hundreds of thousands of people. Here's the family story of two Danish gay dads whose trip home became a viral sensation.


Andreas Husby and Rasmus Soendergaard, both in their early thirties, met 12 years ago while taking a scuba diving class. They live in Lyndby, Denmark, and at first, when they discussed growing their family, they wanted to try and adopt seeing as it had been legalized in the Scandinavian countries. However, the countries where they were eligible to adopt from, as Danish residents, had their own laws against gay couples adopting. And thus, the door was closed. Andreas and Rasmus briefly considered co-parenting with a lesbian couple, but were worried that it might become complicated.

"When we heard about surrogacy, that sounded perfect," said Andreas, "so we went along with that path."

Rasmus with Marit

One day browsing YouTube, Andreas came across an informational video of John Weltman, CEO and founder of Circle Surrogacy, speaking at a Men Having Babies event. "A lot of the questions people asked were the same questions that I had," said Andreas. "It sounded interesting so I started to research some more." The more research he did, the more he knew that surrogacy was the right choice for their family. They chose to work with Circle as their surrogacy agency, and on Circle's recommendation, they met with RMACT's Dr. Mark Leondires. "We really liked his direct approach to the medical process."

The flew over the US for the their FDA testing and semen storage, and began their journey. Their first two embryo transfers were sadly unsuccessful. The couple began to doubt their path and thought maybe it was a sign. But they put their fears and hesitations aside and tried again. On their third attempt, their surrogate became pregnant.

Andreas with Marit

The dads-to-be were hands-on throughout the pregnancy, with Andreas, who had airline miles from a previous job, flying over for the 10-week, 20-week and 30-week scan. They both flew over two weeks before their surrogate's due date; their baby daughter Marit Victoria was born May 3, 2018, a little over a week before the due date.

Andreas and Rasmus will forever be thankful to their surrogate whom they have an ongoing and special relationship with. The plan is for their surrogate and her son to come visit the dads in Denmark during winter so they can experience snow and a cold winter seeing as they hail from California.

Andreas holding Marit with Rasmus beside their surrogate and her son, the day before leaving the U.S.

The new dads are adjusting to life as parents - in the early days, the round the clock feeding schedule made sleep a distant memory for them both. But they're getting the hang of it, and Marit is gaining weight and already sleeping through the night at three months.

When the couple were renting their accommodation in California, where they spent their time awaiting the arrival of Marit and during her first couple of weeks on this earth, Andreas came up with the idea of the goodie bags. He'd seeing something similar before, and after all, who doesn't love a goodie bag? "At first, when Rasmus came in and saw me seated on the floor with piles of candy making the goodie bags, he just shook his head and laughed." No one knew that these thoughtful little gestures would ensure a welcome home like no other. When they gave them out on the plane, the dads, in their exhausted new parents state, thought they recognized a familiar face ( - Niall Horan! - ) but were more concerned with caring for their newborn to think much of it.

It wasn't till a couple of days after their flight, that dads Andreas and Rasmus realized that Marit's goodie bag had become a viral sensation! Niall Horan of One Direction fame had tweeted the photo of little Marit with an accompanying note: "Had the coolest little goodie bag on the plane with this letter enclosed. Marit was quiet as a mouse for 10 hours. Good luck to both dads."

Several media companies reached out to Andreas and Rasmus for comments and the dads obliged, happy to share their family's news and to show a positive image of a family created by surrogacy. "A lot of people in Europe seem to believe that surrogacy is a matter of renting a womb and taking advantage of underprivileged women … Hopefully by sharing our story we can help spread the message that that is wrong and that surrogates do it because they have a genuine with to help others."

Marit's baptism

After their 15 minutes of fame, the dads are thriving as a family of three, and one day hope to grow their family again through surrogacy. We can't wait to see what will be in the next goodie bag!

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Politics

Utah Court Rules Gay Couples Can't Be Excluded From Surrogacy Contracts

The Utah Supreme Court found in favor of a gay couple attempting to enter into a surrogacy contract.

DRAKE BUSATH/ UTCOURTS.GOV

Earlier this month, the Utah Supreme Court ruled that a same-sex couples can't be excluded from entering into enforceable surrogacy contracts, and sent a case concerning a gay male couple back to trial court to approve their petition for a surrogacy arrangement.

As reported in Gay City News, the case concerns Utah's 2005 law on surrogacy, which was enacted prior to the legalization of same-sex marriage in the state. As a result, the content of the law is gendered, saying that surrogacy contracts should only be enforceable if the "intended mother" is unable to bear a child. When a gay couple approached District Judge Jeffrey C. Wilcox to enter into a surrogacy arrangement, he denied them, arguing that the state's law only concerned opposite sex couples.

"This opinion is an important contribution to the growing body of cases adopting a broad construction of the precedent created by Obergefell v. Hodges and the Supreme Court's subsequent decision in Pavan v. Smith," according to GCN. "It's also worth noting that same-sex couples in Utah now enjoy a right denied them here in New York, where compensated gestational surrogacy contracts remain illegal for all couples."

Read the full article here.

Sponsored

The Most Important Woman a Gay Man Will Ever Date

Kristin Marsoli of Circle Surrogacy gives some tips and tricks for getting to know your surrogate once matched

It's time to fine tune your dating skills because you're about to enter into the most important courtship you'll encounter. And it all starts with the biggest first date of your life.

And it's with a woman.

This woman is your gestational carrier; the woman who will carry and care for your baby until she delivers this little bundle of joy right into your arms.

Matching with a gestational carrier – or surrogate – is one of the most exciting milestones in your journey to parenthood through surrogacy. However, it can also be the most nerve wracking. Chances are you've seen a profile about your potential surrogate match so you know a little bit about her and her family. But before you commit to this woman, you'll need to meet her first – either in person or via video. And this is one first meeting you've probably never prepared for!

Circle Surrogacy has been matching surrogates and gay dads for almost 25 years. Here are tried and true tips and tricks to getting to know your surrogate...and keeping the relationship alive during pregnancy and after birth!

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Gay Dad Life

"Daddy, Which Belly Did I Come From?"

How do gay dads talk to their kids about the women that helped bring them into the world?

When you tell your kids the story of how they came to be, is the woman who delivered them identified by a face and a name? That's a decision that every gay dad has to make when it comes to having kids through surrogacy or adoption. In this episode we explored two ways of keeping in touch with the birthmother (for adoptive kids) or the gestational surrogate (for IVF and surrogacy) as part of gay dads' children's birth story.Some adoptive parents choose to have an 'open adoption,' where the child gets to meet the birthmother. Parents who go through surrogacy sometimes keep in touch with the surrogate and have their kids meet her when they are old enough.

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Change the World

Hungarian Company Raising Money for LGBTQ+ Organization with a LEGO® Heart

Startup WE LOVE WHAT YOU BUILD is helping combat misinformation and prejudice in Central and Eastern Europe

Guest Post from WE LOVE WHAT YOU BUILD

WE LOVE WHAT YOU BUILD is an innovative startup venture that sells LEGO® parts and unique creations. The core values of our company include social equality regardless of gender identity or origin. As LEGO® is a variety of colors and shapes, so are the people.

We all know that LEGO® is a brand that nearly everyone knows and likes between the age of 3 and 99 so this gives a great opportunity to connect unique LEGO® creations and Pride. We started a fundraising campaign for a Hungarian LGBTQ+ organization who's aim is to bring people closer to the LGBTQ+ community, they help to combat misinformation and prejudice regarding LGBTQ+ issues in Central- Eastern Europe since 2000.

You might know that gender equality and the circumstances of LGBTQ+ people is not the easiest in the former communist Eastern European countries like Hungary so this program is in a real need for help. For example a couple of month ago a member of the government said that homosexual people are not equal part of our society.

The essence of the campaign is when one buys a Pride Heart, a custom creation made of brand new and genuine LEGO® bricks the organization gets $10.00 donation so they can continue their important work. This Pride Heart is a nice necklace, a decoration in your home, and a cool gift to the one you love.

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Entertainment

Single Gay Dad Featured on Season Three of GLOW

Actor Kevin Cahoon joins the Gorgeous Ladies of Wresting in Vegas as a single gay dad — and drag queen — on Season Three of the hit Netflix show

For a couple of years now, Hollywood has been obsessed with gay dad characters (and who can blame them?) But the latest show to get hip to a story line featuring gay man raising kids is Netflix's GLOW, which explores a female wresting troop in the late 1980s.

But GLOW is helping represent a gay character that rarely gets time in the limelight:the single gay dad. In Season three of the hit comedy — which stars Alison Brie, Betty Gilpin, and Marc Maron — actor Kevin Cahoon joins the case as Bobby Barnes, a single gay father who plays a female impersonator. (80s divas only, of course — Joan Collins and Babs among them)


"I've never done female impersonation," the openly gay actor told OutSmart Magazine, "so I tried to learn really quick. You will know them all; I was very familiar with all of them. There were plenty of talk shows and performances on YouTube to study. I learned that their breathing was very informative."

A single gay dad AND drag queen on television? It's about damn time if you ask us.

Read the full interview with Cahoon here.

Personal Essays by Gay Dads

Thoughts and Prayers Aren't Working:​ One Father's Plea for Gun Reform

One gay dad's plea to our leaders to enact sensible gun control

My articles on GaysWithKids aspire to be lighthearted, helpful and humorous. This one won't be any of those things. Because I'm feeling heavyhearted, helpless and sad. Last week I woke up to news of yet another mass shooting. This time at a family-friendly Garlic Festival in northern California. I don't know if it's because this one hit so close to home, or if it's because the headline included a picture of the innocent 6-year old who was among those killed, but I am overcome with emotion. But mostly I am angry. And I don't know what to do with my anger.

Then, just a few days later came two additional horrific mass shootings that stole the lives of at least 32 more innocent people, many of them children. And then there's the "everyday" gun violence that plagues American cities like Chicago, where guns injured another 46 people this past weekend alone… creating so much turmoil, a hospital had to briefly stop taking patients.

How does one verbalize the collective sadness felt around the world? One can't. And that's why I am asking everyone reading this article to commit to getting involved in some way, to help end this epidemic once and for all. Even though the solution is so obvious, we can't allow ourselves to become numb to mass shootings. Because becoming numb isn't going to save anyone.

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Politics

Gay Russian Dads Forced to Flee Moscow

Fearing the Russian government might take their adopted kids into custody because of their sexual orientation, Andrei Vaganov and Yevgeny Yerofeyev fled Moscow

A married couple in Russia, with two adopted children, were just forced the flee their home in Moscow for fear that the authorities would take their children away, according to German news site Deutsche Welle.

Trouble started last month after investigators in Russia opened a criminal inquiry into the proceedings that had allowed the gay couple, Andrei Vaganov and Yevgeny Yerofeyev, to legally adopt the two boys —adoption by LGBTQ people in Russia has typically not been recognized. The government became aware of the adoption proceedings after the gay couple brought their 12-year-old son to the hospital, who was complaining of a stomachache. The boy was fine, but after he mentioned offhand that he was adopted and lived with two fathers, the doctor called the police.

Andrei and Yevgeny granted an interview with Deutsche Welle after escaping Moscow, but on the advice of their lawyers have yet to disclose where they are currently located. Here is a quick recap of that conversation:

"In connection with the 'propaganda of non-traditional values,' the state representatives are accused of having neglected their duty of supervision," Andrei said, when asked to explain on what basis the Russian government might take his children into custody. "This means that lesbian couples could even have their biological children taken away because, through their lifestyle choices, they propagate "certain values."

Yevgeny also explained the events that led to the couple's harrowing escape "I was alone in Moscow at that time. A week after Andrei and the children had left the country, there was a knock on my door, but nobody called 'police, open up.' After half an hour the violent knocking stopped. My parents' home was searched. They were looking for the children and our Danish marriage certificate because we got married in Denmark in 2016. My friends then got me out of the country."

Read the full interview here.

Fatherhood, the gay way

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