Gay Dad Family Stories

Nic and Ross: A Relationship Blessed by Singer Adele

At an Adele concert in Barcelona, the famous singer called Nic and Ross up on the stage. In front of thousands of screaming fans, Ross proposed to Nic.

Six years ago, on a Friday night in Cape Town, South Africa, at a casual dinner party, Ross Levin, then 36, met Nicholas Markovitz. Ross, a property developer – and a dead ringer for Liev Schreiber – had been married to a woman and was the father of two teenage kids. Nic was a 30-year-old marketing and promotions professional with more than a passing resemblance to Matt Bomer.

There was an immediate attraction between the two men. And a connection: They were both Jewish. They became an item almost instantly. And it was only three days after that dinner party that Nic told Ross, "I think I love you."


Adele, Ross and Nic

Ross reciprocated the feeling. A few years later, during an Adele concert in Barcelona, Adele called the men up on stage to serenade them. And on that stage, in front of thousands of wildly enthusiastic Adele fans, Ross proposed to Nic.

There were more surprises to come. They threw an engagement party back in South Africa on September 17, 2016, that morphed into their surprise wedding! (It was also the first South-African gay wedding officiated by a rabbi!) They posted a short and moving video of that day on their Facebook account.

Ross and Nic at their wedding

Nic who has been free of alcohol and drugs for 5 years realized that his former lifestyle was no longer making him happy. Both Nic and Ross agreed early on that they would love to have a family together. They settled on surrogacy as their preferred way of creating a family. They felt supported by South Africa's progressive Children's Act that stipulates that surrogacy requires a High Court order before embryo transfer rather than an adoption order after birth. A wonderful meeting with their future surrogate sealed the deal. Ross and Nic felt they were in a position to affect their surrogate's life positively as well.

The amount to paperwork required for their surrogacy – among which many medical tests and psychiatric evaluations – was overwhelming at times, but useful and appropriate. The men are convinced the world would be a better place if all intended parents had to jump through these hoops!

The new dads with baby Willow

They've had invaluable support from an unexpected source: Ross's ex-wife. Nic calls her "the most incredible woman"; she and her two kids, 14 and 15 now, were the first visitors to see Willow in the hospital!

Some concerns they had – How will Ross's kids react? – dissipated as soon as they talked about their plans with them. The kids were both very excited for them! Other nagging doubts – Are we mentally ready for a baby? Will we be good parents? How will our relationship change? – seemed to dissolve as soon as their baby Willow was born.

Willow with older sister, Jessica

They firmly believe, if you're ready for a lifelong commitment and really want to be a dad, Go for it! And if you choose surrogacy, you will need an amazing support team: a fertility clinic, an egg donor, a surrogate, lawyers, and family support.

Ross and Nic are hoping that in a few years, they can take time off from their exacting jobs to travel the world with their daughter.

The future for this young family is holding great promise.

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Gay Dad Family Stories

This Couple of 27 Years Learned to Dream Big — and Became Dads to Twins

When Jamie and Kenny first met in 1992, marriage and fatherhood seemed laughable. But as the years progressed, so did their dreams.

Jamie and Kenny have been all over the world. To be precise, they have traveled to 66 countries. So far, they hasten to add. And they used to live in London. But in their own minds, they are still two small-town country boys from Louisiana.

Their story together started in 1992, when both men were young students (Jamie was born in 1974, Kenny is just six months older) from similar backgrounds at the same university in Louisiana. A mutual friend introduced them at a cafeteria, and they hit it off.

They hailed from very small and very religious communities that disapproved of homosexuality. Without any positive role models, Jamie and Kenny had internalized those negative views: The way they looked at their own lives, they assumed they would lead lives of ridicule, be unwilling to commit to one partner, would contract HIV and soon after die of AIDS.

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Personal Essays by Gay Dads

How These Gay Dads Prepared for Twins

Marc and Steve, who are expecting twins girls later this year, tell us how they've prepared to grow their family

Guest post by Marc and Steve

As mentioned in our previous blog it was a shock to find out that we will be expecting twins later on this year. It had taken some getting used to idea but now we are counting down the last few months before we can welcome our twin girls into the family.

Both Marc and I knew we always wanted to have more than one child, the main reason for this was so our first (Spencer) always had some company, someone to play with and so he never felt like he was alone. From around the age of three Spencer has been asking about having a sibling, we knew this day would come as inevitably he was going to have friends who had siblings, so at some point he was going to question why he was an only child. We always said we wanted to have as small of an age gap as possible but unfortunately this did not happen for various reasons. Not that it makes that much difference to us now, in fact we believe it has worked out better this way, with Spencer being that little bit older and more independent he can be a lot more involved with the care of his sisters. He is already telling us that he will help us by getting them nappies and wipes.

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Gay Dad Family Stories

Gay Dads Freddie and Jeff Featured in CNN Documentary About Surrogacy

"Just in three days, I see the world differently," said new dad Jeff after the birth of his son Jace.

This article is part of our family feature series with Circle Surrogacy, a surrogacy agency that has been helping LGBTQ+ singles and couples realize their dream of parenthood for the past 20 years.

"On our third date, Jeff and I discussed our desire to become parents someday, so we've always wanted to be dads," said Freddie. Jeff and Freddie Beisler-Snell met through a mutual friend and have been together 13 years, married for three. Right from the very beginning, they saw fatherhood as part of their future. In May 2019, they welcomed their son Jace via surrogacy.

When Jeff, 40, and Freddie, 36, started their journey, they began looking into adoption. Although they both yearned for a biological connection to their future kids, they didn't know much about surrogacy, or if it was a viable option for them. After doing a little more research, they attended a Gay Parents To Be event, sponsored by RMA of Connecticut taking place in Atlanta. "This event was great because it opened our eyes up to the entire surrogacy process," said Freddie. "After the event, we did some additional research on potential agencies and IVF doctors. We ended up narrowing down our search, and landed on Circle Surrogacy as our agency, and RMA-CT for our IVF clinic."

And from there, their surrogacy journey began.

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Announcements

'Life Is Amazing': Congrats to Gay Dads Whose Families Recently Grew!

Help us congratulate gay dads on their recent births and adoptions last month!

Wishing all of these gay dads whose families expanded in the last month or so a lifetime of happiness! Congrats to everyone in our community on their recent births and adoptions!

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Personal Essays by Gay Dads

We Gained a Son Through Foster Care — He Didn't Lose his Family

Foster-adopt expert Trey Rabun writes a moving essay about his own experiences as a parent in the foster care system.

My husband, Phil, and I talked about having children since out first date over 11 years ago. Like many other gay dads, we waited to start the journey to become parents until we felt secure with our careers, finances, and home life. This meant we didn't start the partnering journey until 2016 when we were eight years into our relationship.

When we first met, I was completing my graduate studies in social work and subsequently started a career working in foster care and adoption. This made our decision to pursue foster care-adoption as our path to parenthood a fairly easy one. In fact, I can't recall us discussing other avenues to parenthood, but I'm sure we briefly discussed them before solidifying our decision to become foster parents.

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Change the World

In the Philly Area? Attend 'Family Pride' On October 5th!

Philadelphia Family Pride is hosting their 10th Annual "Family Matters" Conference on October 5th for LGBTQ parents, prospective parents, and their kids!

Guest post by Stephanie Haynes, the executive director of Philadelphia Family Pride

On Saturday, October 5, 2019, Philadelphia Family Pride will hold their 10th Annual Family Matters Conference from 9am to 3:30pm for LGBTQ parents, prospective parents and their kids of all ages at the University of the Sciences in West Philadelphia. The theme this year is "Telling Our Stories." Registration is now open!

In an interactive keynote, Anndee Hochman, author of the Philadelphia Inquirer's weekly "Parent Trip" column, will share highlights from her work as a journalist and memoirist. She'll invite conversation about the stories that shape us—what tales do we share? who does the telling? who is left out?—and how those stories, added up, are changing the world. Read her bio.

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Gay Adoption

5 Things to Keep in Mind When Preparing for Your Home Study

Molly Rampe Thomas of Choice Network lists the 5 things gay men should keep in mind when preparing for your home study

The homestudy is the first step in the adoption process. In every state the homestudy is done a little differently, but all of them have the some combo of paperwork, trainings, and interviews. The homestudy can take anywhere from 2 months to 6 months to complete. Without it, you cannot adopt.

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