Sponsored

A 'Men Having Babies' Conference Started These Happy New Dads on Their Path to Parenthood

In the Bay Area? Sign up now for the next Men Having Babies Conference taking place this January 12-13!

Last year, after 12 years together, Jimmy Nguyen and Michael Duque were finally ready to become dads. And so in 2017 they began their journey to fatherhood. Little did they know how quickly that would become a reality. What began with a serendipitous sighting of an ad for an upcoming Men Having Babies conference resulted in the joyous birth of their son in October 2018. Here's their story.


When Jimmy and Michael were in their early and mid-twenties, they met through friends. Their relationship was a just a friendship at first. When Michael's romantic relationship with another man ended, Jimmy, quite innocently at first, stepped up to comfort Michael through the breakup. This led Jimmy to realize his own feelings for Michael were stronger than friendship, and the two made their own relationship official.

Even in their early years together, they had discussed fatherhood, agreeing that it was something they both wanted. "We created a mental roadmap early on that serviced as a roadmap towards our goal of becoming dads," said Jimmy. Surrogacy was their preferred path as they wanted to be biologically related to their children. "We did consider other options such as fostering and adoption, but we felt that surrogacy was the right choice for us," explained Michael. At the end of 2016, it became their New Year's resolution to start their journey.

Jimmy (left) and Michael with Jon-Pierre

In early January 2017, Jimmy was scrolling through Facebook when he came across an ad for a Men Having Babies conference. It was a Tuesday, and the conference was for the following Saturday in San Francisco. (They live in Los Angeles.) He immediately called Michael who told him to go for it. Jimmy bought tickets right away, and before they knew it, they were attending the seminar.

Jimmy and Michael had already done a fair amount of research on their own; they didn't know if they were going to learn anything new, and were uncertain how they would feel afterwards. "Either we walk into this thing and walk out of it gung-ho, ready to dive into it," explained Jimmy, "or we would say, 'What are we getting ourselves into?' … But we walked away from the seminar really gung-ho about it, really excited to start our journey to parenthood."

At the seminar they met with Canadian Fertility Consulting, an organization they were, through their own research, already interested in working with. The conference really set the wheels in motion. Also at the conference, they discussed their burgeoning plans with the San Diego Fertility Center and had an instant connection. "We fell in love with them at the seminar!" said Jimmy. "We were blown away by how personal and informative they were."

Following the conference, the aspiring dads' journey took off. Jimmy and Michael signed with Canadian Fertility Consulting, and at the San Diego fertility clinic they had their first transfer in October 2017. Sadly, they were unsuccessful the first time, but they tried again January 2018. This time, the dads and their surrogate had a positive pregnancy test, and on October 11, 2018, their son was born.

"We are over the moon with our little son," gushed Jimmy. "We look at each other and ask ourselves, 'What did we do before our son was born?' We are having so much fun with him, and really enjoying having him in our lives."

The dads have formed a very close relationship with their surrogate as well, which is something they always desired having seen an intended parent and his surrogate speak at the San Francisco MHB seminar. "I remember specifically there was one IP who became best friends with their surrogate, and we thought, 'That's what we want,'" said Michael. The two dads and their son are traveling to Canada soon to spend some time with their surrogate and her family whom they now consider close and dear friends.

In January 2019, MHB will be returning for its sixth annual Men Having Babies West Coast conference. The seminar will bring together medical and legal experts, parents and surrogate mothers, as well as community activists. Prospective parents will benefit from practical and personal peer advice and opportunities to meet a wide range of leading providers from the United States and Canada at the Gay Parenting Expo, breakout sessions and in private consultations. This event is being co-hosted by Our Family Coalition, an advocacy group that has been working to advance equity for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer families with children for over 20 years.

Jimmy and Michael are also going to be there, with baby Jon-Pierre. And their advice to those considering attending? "Don't be intimidated or cautious if it seems a little daunting ... It is well worth it in the end. This journey has been nothing short of amazing."

So if you'd like to listen to experts, talk to dads who've been there, hear surrogates share their stories, and are ready to really kickstart your own journey to fatherhood, join us! For more details, see below.

2019 San Francisco Surrogacy Conference, January 12-13

When:

January 12, 2018: 8:30AM – 8:00PM, January 13: 8:30AM – 12:45PM

Where:

The conference will take place at Marines' Memorial Club & Hotel, 609 Sutter Street, San Francisco

Hotel Information:

Attendees can benefit from special group rates for hotel accommodations at the Marines' Memorial Club & Hotel

Registration:

Admission for both days is $25 per person in advance ($30 at the door – space permitting) and will include lunch and receptions.

Visit here for more information.

This conference is being co-hosted by Our Family Coalition.

Show Comments ()
Gay Dad Family Stories

This Couple of 27 Years Learned to Dream Big — and Became Dads to Twins

When Jamie and Kenny first met in 1992, marriage and fatherhood seemed laughable. But as the years progressed, so did their dreams.

Jamie and Kenny have been all over the world. To be precise, they have traveled to 66 countries. So far, they hasten to add. And they used to live in London. But in their own minds, they are still two small-town country boys from Louisiana.

Their story together started in 1992, when both men were young students (Jamie was born in 1974, Kenny is just six months older) from similar backgrounds at the same university in Louisiana. A mutual friend introduced them at a cafeteria, and they hit it off.

They hailed from very small and very religious communities that disapproved of homosexuality. Without any positive role models, Jamie and Kenny had internalized those negative views: The way they looked at their own lives, they assumed they would lead lives of ridicule, be unwilling to commit to one partner, would contract HIV and soon after die of AIDS.

Keep reading... Show less
Personal Essays by Gay Dads

How These Gay Dads Prepared for Twins

Marc and Steve, who are expecting twins girls later this year, tell us how they've prepared to grow their family

Guest post by Marc and Steve

As mentioned in our previous blog it was a shock to find out that we will be expecting twins later on this year. It had taken some getting used to idea but now we are counting down the last few months before we can welcome our twin girls into the family.

Both Marc and I knew we always wanted to have more than one child, the main reason for this was so our first (Spencer) always had some company, someone to play with and so he never felt like he was alone. From around the age of three Spencer has been asking about having a sibling, we knew this day would come as inevitably he was going to have friends who had siblings, so at some point he was going to question why he was an only child. We always said we wanted to have as small of an age gap as possible but unfortunately this did not happen for various reasons. Not that it makes that much difference to us now, in fact we believe it has worked out better this way, with Spencer being that little bit older and more independent he can be a lot more involved with the care of his sisters. He is already telling us that he will help us by getting them nappies and wipes.

Keep reading... Show less
Gay Dad Family Stories

Gay Dads Freddie and Jeff Featured in CNN Documentary About Surrogacy

"Just in three days, I see the world differently," said new dad Jeff after the birth of his son Jace.

This article is part of our family feature series with Circle Surrogacy, a surrogacy agency that has been helping LGBTQ+ singles and couples realize their dream of parenthood for the past 20 years.

"On our third date, Jeff and I discussed our desire to become parents someday, so we've always wanted to be dads," said Freddie. Jeff and Freddie Beisler-Snell met through a mutual friend and have been together 13 years, married for three. Right from the very beginning, they saw fatherhood as part of their future. In May 2019, they welcomed their son Jace via surrogacy.

When Jeff, 40, and Freddie, 36, started their journey, they began looking into adoption. Although they both yearned for a biological connection to their future kids, they didn't know much about surrogacy, or if it was a viable option for them. After doing a little more research, they attended a Gay Parents To Be event, sponsored by RMA of Connecticut taking place in Atlanta. "This event was great because it opened our eyes up to the entire surrogacy process," said Freddie. "After the event, we did some additional research on potential agencies and IVF doctors. We ended up narrowing down our search, and landed on Circle Surrogacy as our agency, and RMA-CT for our IVF clinic."

And from there, their surrogacy journey began.

Keep reading... Show less

'Life Is Amazing': Congrats to Gay Dads Whose Families Recently Grew!

Help us congratulate gay dads on their recent births and adoptions last month!

Wishing all of these gay dads whose families expanded in the last month or so a lifetime of happiness! Congrats to everyone in our community on their recent births and adoptions!

Keep reading... Show less
Personal Essays by Gay Dads

We Gained a Son Through Foster Care — He Didn't Lose his Family

Foster-adopt expert Trey Rabun writes a moving essay about his own experiences as a parent in the foster care system.

My husband, Phil, and I talked about having children since out first date over 11 years ago. Like many other gay dads, we waited to start the journey to become parents until we felt secure with our careers, finances, and home life. This meant we didn't start the partnering journey until 2016 when we were eight years into our relationship.

When we first met, I was completing my graduate studies in social work and subsequently started a career working in foster care and adoption. This made our decision to pursue foster care-adoption as our path to parenthood a fairly easy one. In fact, I can't recall us discussing other avenues to parenthood, but I'm sure we briefly discussed them before solidifying our decision to become foster parents.

Keep reading... Show less
Change the World

In the Philly Area? Attend 'Family Pride' On October 5th!

Philadelphia Family Pride is hosting their 10th Annual "Family Matters" Conference on October 5th for LGBTQ parents, prospective parents, and their kids!

Guest post by Stephanie Haynes, the executive director of Philadelphia Family Pride

On Saturday, October 5, 2019, Philadelphia Family Pride will hold their 10th Annual Family Matters Conference from 9am to 3:30pm for LGBTQ parents, prospective parents and their kids of all ages at the University of the Sciences in West Philadelphia. The theme this year is "Telling Our Stories." Registration is now open!

In an interactive keynote, Anndee Hochman, author of the Philadelphia Inquirer's weekly "Parent Trip" column, will share highlights from her work as a journalist and memoirist. She'll invite conversation about the stories that shape us—what tales do we share? who does the telling? who is left out?—and how those stories, added up, are changing the world. Read her bio.

Keep reading... Show less
Gay Adoption

5 Things to Keep in Mind When Preparing for Your Home Study

Molly Rampe Thomas of Choice Network lists the 5 things gay men should keep in mind when preparing for your home study

The homestudy is the first step in the adoption process. In every state the homestudy is done a little differently, but all of them have the some combo of paperwork, trainings, and interviews. The homestudy can take anywhere from 2 months to 6 months to complete. Without it, you cannot adopt.

Keep reading... Show less

Fatherhood, the gay way

Get the latest from Gays With Kids delivered to your inbox!

Follow Gays With Kids

Powered by RebelMouse