Gay Dad Life

A Visit to Disney World Convinced This Gay Couple to Become Dads

Michael and Matthew met 12 years ago in Warren, Ohio, the old fashioned way: in a bar. They were married June 17, 2015, and now live in Reynoldsburg, Ohio. Initially, they did not want to become parents as they did not see a way for them both to be the dads legally in their state of Ohio, but a chance encounter at Disney World changed their minds. Here's what happened ...


Tell us about your path to parenthood. In January 2016 while in Disney World for a marathon weekend, we ran into a gay couple with a 4 month old daughter. It was the first time we had seen a gay couple with a child and it got us thinking. We ran into that couple another 6 or 7 times during that trip and we become good friends. Upon returning from Disney, we had some serious discussions and came to the conclusion that we both wanted to have a child. We contacted Adoption by Gentle Care and figured out next steps.

Elena with her Disney friends

Did you choose an open adoption with Elena? We have a semi-open adoption. We utilized Adoption by Gentlecare in Columbus Ohio for the adoption and they require that we write a letter to the birth mother with photos each month for the first year and then twice annually each year after. We have met Elena's mother, but we don't have a relationship with her at this point.

Matthew with Elena

Your family has an affinity for Disney! As a family, do you try to go to Disney World often? We love Disney and loved it prior to having Elena. We go three or four times per year. With Elena, it is seeing Disney through her eyes. Meeting characters, riding rides and just seeing the spectacles around Disney through her perspective is heartwarming. I will tell you, we went in July to meet up with Michael's mother just before we finalized and Elena has never slept better. That constant stimulation wore her out.

Matthew with Elena and Minnie Mouse

How have your lives changed since you've become dads? It has changed our lives completely. Before, we would get off of work and shop, watch tv, go out to eat and exercise. Now our lives consist of shopping for Elena and the things we need around the house, eating when we get an opportunity, watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and going running with Elena in the stroller. You become less selfish when you have a child and you don't feel angry about it.

Michael and Matthew holding Elena

You and Michael had been together for almost 11 years before you became Elena's dads. How did you adjust to life as a family of three? The changing from just Michael and I to a family of three was interesting. It took us about two or three weeks to get our groove but it was been wonderful. We found a great home daycare for when we are working and we have our evenings and weekends figured. We have been very fortunate that she is an easy baby above all.

What have you learned from your children since you became a dad? A tremendous amount of patience. You realize quickly that everything is on Elena's schedule.

Is your family treated differently than others on account of your sexual orientation? You just have to be prepared for the questions. You will realize that strangers have no qualms about asking you also sorts of inappropriate questions. Our job is to figure out how to respond in a way that validates us and our daughter.

Michael and Elena

What would you say was your "aha" moment when you first realized that you were a dad? That came on January 20th when she was placed with us. We had only waited two months on the adoption list, so we were already shocked that we had a baby that quick. But on January 20th, We had done all this prep and worrying within the 72-hour window, then we get home, we were exhausted, excited and confused. All that build up in the 72-hour window and it was what do we do next? It dawned on us that our next move and then every move thereafter was going to be to raise ElenaWhat obstacles did you face on your path to fatherhood? Upon getting on the list, Elena came two months later. To get on the list, it took a great deal of hoops to jump through to compile everything needed to qualify for adoption in Ohio.

Where do you see your family 5-10 years in the future? Watching our daughter develop and figure out what her dreams are.


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They Met at NYE Party in 2012. Now, They're Married and About to Be Dads Via Adoption

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Nestled in the sand on a beach in Maui, newlyweds Mike and Charlie Erwin began to discuss the future, and more importantly, when they were going to grow their family. It was 2016, and the couple were on their honeymoon. They met in 2012 at a New Year's Eve party when Charlie fixed Mike's bow tie. "We were total strangers," said Charlie, "but he was lopsided; it was adorable." But back to the beach. It was on the sandy shore that they decided to be married for two years before beginning their road to fatherhood.

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This marks a major advancement, but it's not time to start lining up at your local fertility clinic just yet, guys: while the mice pups born from two females were healthy, and were even able to conceive their own offspring, those born to two male pups died shortly after their birth.

A recent article in National Geographic helps explain why the feat is more difficult with makes. One of the main barriers is due to a process called "imprinting," during the development of sperm and eggs, when "tags" attach to our chromosomes. In mammals, these tags vary by sex.

"For female mouse pairs, they had to delete three locations to get healthy young," according to the article. "For male mouse pairs, they had to snip seven regions."

For the female pups, snipping just these three regions allowed the pups to grow at a normal rate. Snipping the seven regions in males allows the babies to develop to full term, but it is not enough, yet, to allow the offspring to live much past birth.

An additional barrier: to make an individual, you have to have an egg. "Males don't have eggs," a developmental biologist helpfully points out in the piece.

Read the full article here.

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Australian Politician Gives Impassioned Defense of Gay Men's Access to Altruistic Surrogacy

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"I came into politics to believe in the best of people, to appeal to the best our our humanity, to show greater kindness, to understand that despite our differences there is much that brings us together," Carey said at the beginning of the debate, according to Out in Perth, which reported on the proceedings. "This is why I proudly stand here today as a member of parliament, and to support progressive change, to support that humanity in our community.

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Read Carey's full defense of the bill, which will next be read and debated in the Legislative Council, here.

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Guest post by Alexandre de Souza Amorim.

My name is Alexandre de Souza Amorim. In 2016, my husband and I became parents of a beautiful baby princess. The following year, our story was posted here in "Gays With Kids".

Today we return to tell a second part of this story. Sara, our daughter, has always loved books or "booklets" as she calls them. And since she arrived, we started looking for children's books that represented our family, our love and LGBTQI characters. In Brazil there is a very small number of these publications.

"Facing our greatest fears, we may come across great surprises." - Alexandre de Souza Amorim

One day I was talking to another gay couple, who are also parents, and they complained about the lack of books with LGBTQI characters in Brazil.

I am a father and also a psychologist, and I know that the representativeness of our families and our love in the following of culture (cinema, books, theater, music, etc.) are important weapons in the fight against homophobia and violence of all kinds. I have already written chapters of books and articles on psychology, and I soon thought: Can I write a children's fairy tale? I wish my daughter would grow up in a world with fewer differences and more love. And from this desire was born my first children's book: "The Knight and the Werewolf - A Story of Courage"

"Every parent should remember that with their support their children can find the path of their happiness faster." - Alexandre de Souza Amorim

But that dream has only become possible because I have met people who also believe that we need more representation. Lea Carvalho, publisher at Metanoia Publishing House agreed to publish the book as soon as she read it. And Bruno Guimarães Reis, from Studio Bonnie & Clyde, is the illustrator who gave life to my characters.

The official launch of the book will be on November 1, 2018, but it can already be purchased on the publisher's website.

"Some adventures can be full of great surprises." - Alexandre de Souza Amorim

The book tells the story of young Kevin, who dreams of becoming a knight of his kingdom. When that dream comes true, Kevin is named the bravest knight in his kingdom. But being brave does not mean that you are not afraid of anything, but that you can face even your greatest fears. And it is facing his fear of Werewolves that Kevin meets Prince Noah. Friendship soon becomes love. It is a book about courage, love and with a great sensitivity to teach children that there are many possibilities to exist and to love.

I'm really glad this dream came true. And I am happier to know that my daughter and other children may have a book that shows that the knight can fall in love with the prince and that there is no problem in that. Love is love. And love is a beautiful thing.

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