A London Based Couple On Life With Twins
Bevan and Giuseppe first met 18 years ago while on a date. But not with each other. They were on a double date with their then-boyfriends. Needless to say, those relationships didn't work out, and 11 years later Giuseppe and Bevan crossed paths once more. This time, they were both single. They went out for dinner and a drink, click instantly. They've been together ever since.
The last 3 years have been a dream come true for the engaged London-based couple, as they became dads to twins. They have two children, born via surrogacy, in December 2016. Giuseppe is "Papa" (said the Italian way) and Bevan is "Daddy." The plan to wait another year or two before they get married so the kids are old enough to play a role and really understand the ceremony.
But first, we spoke with Giuseppe and he filled us in on how they went from two to four, and what parent life is like for the once workaholic fathers. We'll give you a clue: a vast improvement.
Tell us about your path to fatherhood. We talked about and considered co-parenting with a friend but the situation didn't present itself as easy as we imagined. We considered adoption but discovered how difficult the process could have been here in the UK, having had friends that have gone through it before. We then met and talked with a friend that did surrogacy a few years before us and soon felt that, for us, it was the perfect option.
Tell us about any obstacles you faced on your path to fatherhood. We have been very lucky from the very beginning of our journey since we talked to family and friends about it. The immense support given to us both was second to none. The hardest things were probably the amount of traveling we had to do and the money we had to save, while we had the fantastic help of an agency in Los Angeles. All absolutely worthwhile. We would do it again and again if we had to. Our dream was priceless.
How has your life changed since you became a father? Life before was primarily dominated by work - that was the focus of our lives - and then time together. Now our priorities have all changed and somehow life has taken a turn that seems so natural, normal as we always dreamed of. Work is there but it's done in its normal proportions, just because we need to. Family time and life in general is very happy and very rewarding on a daily bases.
What have you learned from your child since you became a dad? To be in the moment, put things aside and continuously be observant.
Was there ever a moment that you or Bevan experienced any serious doubts about your path to fatherhood or fatherhood itself. We felt a little down and not sure if we could were strong enough to carry on when we had few setbacks during the IVF process. (A few unsuccessful attempts to get pregnant.)
Is your family treated differently than others on account of your sexual orientation? A little bit but not intentionally. Mostly because it's still a bit of a novelty, especially when we travel to a country like Italy. In London, not so much, but still at times. [We've] never felt uncomfortable, and at times had strong, beautiful comments of support by somebody that stopped us to talk and say how good it was what we had done.
What words of advice do you have for other gay men considering pursuing your same path or parenthood? It's a very expensive process so have your finances sorted. Get plenty of advice and speak to people that have done it before. There are so many agencies out there and it's important you find the one right for you and your specific case.
Where do you see your family 5-10 years in the future? School, sport, activity, Holiday, family time, school camp, food, cinema. REPEAT!!!
Is there anything else you'd like to share about your experiences creating or raising your family? To never give up! Always pursue your dream without hesitation, a family and parenthood is most incredible gift we have ever received. Make sure you talk to your family and friend about your wish / dream so you can be surrounded by people that can give you support. Enjoy, and have fun. It's the best rollercoaster ride of your life!