Gay Dad Life

"Over the Moon": Congrats to Gay Dads on May Births and Adoptions!

Join us in congratulating all of the gay men in our community whose families grew in the Month of May!

Wishing all of these gay dads congratulations on their exciting news this month. From pregnancy announcements, to becoming first-time dads, congrats to everyone in our community on their recent births and adoptions!

Circle Surrogacy is the proud sponsor of May's Congrats post. They were founded in 1995 on the belief that everyone should have the opportunity to be a parent. "For over 20 years we've helped LGBTQ+ couples and singles around the world fulfill their dreams of parenthood. We've helped bring more than 1,900 babies into this world... and counting!"


Congratulations to dads Gamaliel and Jimmy on the birth of their twins!

Gamaliel and his husband Jimmy welcomed twins, Alejandro and Anna, via surrogacy on April 1. The new family of four live in Miami, Florida and are immigrants from Venezuela and Dominican Republic.

"We became dads through an amazing woman from Colombia that honored us with being our surrogate!" shared Gamaliel. "We would love to speak to anyone who is interested in the process, and share this information. They can contact us. Holding our Princess and Prince for the first time was like falling in love for the first time ever! Never felt this type of love in our lives!"

Congratulations to this Floridian family!

Congratulations to dads Carlos and Oscar on the birth of their daughter!

Carlos and Oscar, both originally from Spain live in Germany and became dads via surrogacy in America. They've been together 8 years, and they always knew they wanted to be parents.

"We started our surrogacy journey 3 years in the US. Before that we had to investigate to feel good about the process. We thought the US regulations are fair and ethic," said Carlos.

"We were not so lucky with nature, our first embryos were not good and our doctor suggested also to change surrogate. That was hard since we have a good relationship with her. But April (their surrogate) was the best. We visited her in her 5th month of pregnancy and felt a big connection."

"We always thought we were going to have a boy but we didn't want to interfere nature. Sofia came into the world on April 2nd after a long natural labor ... seeing her hairy head coming out was incredible, we all had tears of happiness."

Congratulations to dads Matthew and Chip on the birth of their youngest son, Holden!

Dads Matthew and Chip have twin three year old sons, August and Sandon, and on May 6, their youngest Holden joined the family.

"We missed the birth of our twin sons, our surrogate had to undergo an emergency c-section so it was really important to us that we made the birth of our newest son," explained Matthew. "And even though he did come a week and a half early, we were able to book last minutes flights to make it to Portland in time for the birth."

"It was the most amazing experience witnessing our son's birth and to be able to be the first one to hold him after he was born. We were both overwhelmed with joy holding our new son for the first time knowing that our family was now complete. And of course there are no words to describe how grateful we are to our surrogate and her family for helping bring our new son into the world."

Congrats to this family from Omaha, Nebraska!

Congratulations to dads Richard and Stefan on the birth of their daughter!

Richard and Stefan returned to Oregon to work with their wonderful surrogate for a second time to complete their family.

"The pregnancy and birth went really smoothly. The support from the surrogate's family and friends was heartwarming," said Richard. Their daughter was born April 18th.

"We're over the moon that our daughter is so calm and healthy," shared Stefan. "She is now five weeks old and we've just returned to Germany, where we live. Her big brother is so sweet with her."

"We're the luckiest guys in the world!"

Congratulations to dads Matt and Joseph on the adoption of their daughter!

LA husbands Matt and Joseph had their adoption profile live for only 2.5 month before our daughter was born. "We got the call from our agency on April 19 saying that she was born at 6am that morning and that we were chosen by the birth parents to adopt her!" said Joseph. "The birth parents specifically asked for a gay couple."

"The first time we held her were were in complete shock! We were so happy and surprised," said Matt. "We kept asking ourselves "is this real?" How could this perfect little baby fall into our life's as if she was just dropped off by a stork or something. We instantly fell in love with her."

So far, life as dads of two is going relatively smoothly. "Couples that make their families through adoption have to fit nine months of planning into a short time," continued Matt. "We had one day, and I think we did a great job setting the house up for Stella." Matt added, "Baby #2 seems not as hectic as baby #1. We know what we are doing now, every piece isn't a completely new learning experience. But I will say, I completely forgot how hard the whole sleep thing is."

Congratulations to dads Stevey and Mika on the birth of their daughter!

After attending a Men Having Babies conference in January 2018 in San Francisco Stevey and Mika wanted to get our journey to fatherhood started as soon as possible. "We found the most amazing egg donor and surrogate in San Diego, they helped make our dream of becoming dads come true!"

Little Skylar was born May 18 in San Diego via surrogate.

"Holding Skylar for the first time it felt like our whole world was suddenly complete! All we wanted to do is provide our baby girl with all the love and protection in the world. 💕"

Congrats to this new family of three from Fresno, California.

Congratulations to dads Stephen and Sean on their exciting news!

Stephen and his husband Sean are growing their family again with the help of their amazing surrogate who lives in Maine, Portland. "Our son Sawyer are super excited to spend time with our surrogate Brittany and her family," said Stephen. "We're looking forward to teaching Sawyer what it means to be a big brother and readying ourselves for the chaos and fun of having two kids in the house."

This will be the second surrogacy journey for the dads and they're beyond thrilled to grow their family.

Congratulations to dads JJ and Drew on welcoming their youngest daughter!

JJ and Drew have expanded their family for the second time through the foster care system, welcoming baby Eliza. She joins big sister Maya who is 2 years old.

"It felt so wonderful to hold her that from the moment we saw her we knew she's ours and we'll do anything to give her the life she deserves," said JJ. "Since we have used the foster system for our girls, there are ups and downs and a few surprises along the way. But we wouldn't trade it as it has brought us our family of four."

Maya is adjusting well to the role of big sister, and loves to hold Eliza or hold her hand at least. Congrats to this family in Irvine, California!

Congratulations to dads Ricky and Jeff on welcoming their daughter!

Ricky and Jeff were contacting by their son's bio mom when she found out she was pregnant again, and she wanted them to adopt the baby.

"We were fortunate enough to be able to experience the whole birthing with Kylie," said Ricky. "Holding her for the first time was the most amazing and emotional feeling you can ever experience."

"Kadyn is beginning to warm up to her," continued Jeff. "At first he pretty much just ignored her and didn't pay much attention to her. More recently he's given her more attention by pointing and saying "uh oh" if she begins to cry and has given her a couple of kisses on his own."

Congrats to this forever family of San Bernardino, California!

This post is sponsored by Circle Surrogacy

Circle was founded in 1995 on the belief that everyone should have the opportunity to be a parent. To this day, that belief is at the core of everything we do. For over 20 years we've helped straight and LGBTQ+ couples and singles around the world fulfill their dreams of parenthood. We've helped bring more than 1,900 babies into this world... and counting!

We're an agency comprised of social workers and lawyers, accountants and outreach associates, and program managers and coordinators; but, more importantly, we're an agency made up of parents, surrogates and egg donors, who are passionate about helping people build their families, and invested in each and every journey.

Circle is proud to have helped so many gay families achieve their dreams of becoming parents. Together, we make parenthood possible.®

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Politics

Utah Court Rules Gay Couples Can't Be Excluded From Surrogacy Contracts

The Utah Supreme Court found in favor of a gay couple attempting to enter into a surrogacy contract.

DRAKE BUSATH/ UTCOURTS.GOV

Earlier this month, the Utah Supreme Court ruled that a same-sex couples can't be excluded from entering into enforceable surrogacy contracts, and sent a case concerning a gay male couple back to trial court to approve their petition for a surrogacy arrangement.

As reported in Gay City News, the case concerns Utah's 2005 law on surrogacy, which was enacted prior to the legalization of same-sex marriage in the state. As a result, the content of the law is gendered, saying that surrogacy contracts should only be enforceable if the "intended mother" is unable to bear a child. When a gay couple approached District Judge Jeffrey C. Wilcox to enter into a surrogacy arrangement, he denied them, arguing that the state's law only concerned opposite sex couples.

"This opinion is an important contribution to the growing body of cases adopting a broad construction of the precedent created by Obergefell v. Hodges and the Supreme Court's subsequent decision in Pavan v. Smith," according to GCN. "It's also worth noting that same-sex couples in Utah now enjoy a right denied them here in New York, where compensated gestational surrogacy contracts remain illegal for all couples."

Read the full article here.

Politics

Gay Russian Dads Forced to Flee Moscow

Fearing the Russian government might take their adopted kids into custody because of their sexual orientation, Andrei Vaganov and Yevgeny Yerofeyev fled Moscow

A married couple in Russia, with two adopted children, were just forced the flee their home in Moscow for fear that the authorities would take their children away, according to German news site Deutsche Welle.

Trouble started last month after investigators in Russia opened a criminal inquiry into the proceedings that had allowed the gay couple, Andrei Vaganov and Yevgeny Yerofeyev, to legally adopt the two boys —adoption by LGBTQ people in Russia has typically not been recognized. The government became aware of the adoption proceedings after the gay couple brought their 12-year-old son to the hospital, who was complaining of a stomachache. The boy was fine, but after he mentioned offhand that he was adopted and lived with two fathers, the doctor called the police.

Andrei and Yevgeny granted an interview with Deutsche Welle after escaping Moscow, but on the advice of their lawyers have yet to disclose where they are currently located. Here is a quick recap of that conversation:

"In connection with the 'propaganda of non-traditional values,' the state representatives are accused of having neglected their duty of supervision," Andrei said, when asked to explain on what basis the Russian government might take his children into custody. "This means that lesbian couples could even have their biological children taken away because, through their lifestyle choices, they propagate "certain values."

Yevgeny also explained the events that led to the couple's harrowing escape "I was alone in Moscow at that time. A week after Andrei and the children had left the country, there was a knock on my door, but nobody called 'police, open up.' After half an hour the violent knocking stopped. My parents' home was searched. They were looking for the children and our Danish marriage certificate because we got married in Denmark in 2016. My friends then got me out of the country."

Read the full interview here.

Gay Dad Family Stories

This Couple is Using 'Wheel of Fortune' Winnings to Help Fund Their Adoption

Need to raise money for your adoption fund? Why not try your luck on Wheel of Fortune like these guys!

Doug and Nick Roberts connected three and a half years ago via a dating app, and on their first date, the two immediately felt a connection. Doug, a psychologist, and Nick, a neuroscientist, were married 18 months later. Today the couple live in the suburbs of Philadelphia, and they're ready to start their next exciting adventure together: fatherhood.

The husbands would like to have children, and Nick has always wanted to adopt. "We considered surrogacy, and may consider it in the future as we expand our family," said Doug, "but right now, it is cost-prohibitive. Adoption was easily the right choice for us as we begin to grow our family.

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Change the World

Hungarian Company Raising Money for LGBTQ+ Organization with a LEGO® Heart

Startup WE LOVE WHAT YOU BUILD is helping combat misinformation and prejudice in Central and Eastern Europe

Guest Post from WE LOVE WHAT YOU BUILD

WE LOVE WHAT YOU BUILD is an innovative startup venture that sells LEGO® parts and unique creations. The core values of our company include social equality regardless of gender identity or origin. As LEGO® is a variety of colors and shapes, so are the people.

We all know that LEGO® is a brand that nearly everyone knows and likes between the age of 3 and 99 so this gives a great opportunity to connect unique LEGO® creations and Pride. We started a fundraising campaign for a Hungarian LGBTQ+ organization who's aim is to bring people closer to the LGBTQ+ community, they help to combat misinformation and prejudice regarding LGBTQ+ issues in Central- Eastern Europe since 2000.

You might know that gender equality and the circumstances of LGBTQ+ people is not the easiest in the former communist Eastern European countries like Hungary so this program is in a real need for help. For example a couple of month ago a member of the government said that homosexual people are not equal part of our society.

The essence of the campaign is when one buys a Pride Heart, a custom creation made of brand new and genuine LEGO® bricks the organization gets $10.00 donation so they can continue their important work. This Pride Heart is a nice necklace, a decoration in your home, and a cool gift to the one you love.

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Entertainment

Single Gay Dad Featured on Season Three of GLOW

Actor Kevin Cahoon joins the Gorgeous Ladies of Wresting in Vegas as a single gay dad — and drag queen — on Season Three of the hit Netflix show

For a couple of years now, Hollywood has been obsessed with gay dad characters (and who can blame them?) But the latest show to get hip to a story line featuring gay man raising kids is Netflix's GLOW, which explores a female wresting troop in the late 1980s.

But GLOW is helping represent a gay character that rarely gets time in the limelight:the single gay dad. In Season three of the hit comedy — which stars Alison Brie, Betty Gilpin, and Marc Maron — actor Kevin Cahoon joins the case as Bobby Barnes, a single gay father who plays a female impersonator. (80s divas only, of course — Joan Collins and Babs among them)


"I've never done female impersonation," the openly gay actor told OutSmart Magazine, "so I tried to learn really quick. You will know them all; I was very familiar with all of them. There were plenty of talk shows and performances on YouTube to study. I learned that their breathing was very informative."

A single gay dad AND drag queen on television? It's about damn time if you ask us.

Read the full interview with Cahoon here.

Personal Essays by Gay Dads

Thoughts and Prayers Aren't Working:​ One Father's Plea for Gun Reform

One gay dad's plea to our leaders to enact sensible gun control

My articles on GaysWithKids aspire to be lighthearted, helpful and humorous. This one won't be any of those things. Because I'm feeling heavyhearted, helpless and sad. Last week I woke up to news of yet another mass shooting. This time at a family-friendly Garlic Festival in northern California. I don't know if it's because this one hit so close to home, or if it's because the headline included a picture of the innocent 6-year old who was among those killed, but I am overcome with emotion. But mostly I am angry. And I don't know what to do with my anger.

Then, just a few days later came two additional horrific mass shootings that stole the lives of at least 32 more innocent people, many of them children. And then there's the "everyday" gun violence that plagues American cities like Chicago, where guns injured another 46 people this past weekend alone… creating so much turmoil, a hospital had to briefly stop taking patients.

How does one verbalize the collective sadness felt around the world? One can't. And that's why I am asking everyone reading this article to commit to getting involved in some way, to help end this epidemic once and for all. Even though the solution is so obvious, we can't allow ourselves to become numb to mass shootings. Because becoming numb isn't going to save anyone.

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Change the World

4 Tips for Using Instagram to Connect with Gay Dads Offline

We asked gay dads who have successfully met up with other LGBTQ families offline for some of their tips

Last week, we ran a story about several gay dads who did the unthinkable: meet other gay dads IRL after connecting on Instagram! We get MANY questions from gay dads wondering how they can meet up with others in their area, so we decided to dig a bit deeper this week to get their advice. What can gay dads do to meet others off the 'gram?

1. Be kind — share others' excitement in parenting!


From @twinlifedads Ben and Andy:

"Be kind. That is absolutely it. Be kind to each other and don't be afraid to reach out. Respond to each other when you can. Share in excitement for each other. There is no reason to bring someone else down who might be excited about how they are parenting."

2. Drop a couple comments and likes before reaching out!

From @brisvegasdad Tim and Nic:

"I think drop comments now and then on their posts and instastories and see where things land. Chances are, if you're commenting on a post and it is a heartfelt response, they'll click through to your account, look at your photos and connect with you. And that's when the magic happens - you can introduce yourself, talk about your lives and how things are being a parent... and after a while, if you're in the same neighbourhood, you meet up and grow your friendship organically. That being said, I'm obsessed with Bobby Berk from Queer Eye and his husband Dewey Do - if they ever had kids, I'd probably be completely unsubtle and leave strange awkward comments on their instaposts saying, 'GAY DADS MEET UPSSSSS'."

3. Go in with no expectations

From @stevecsmith Steve and Ben:

"I always try to reach out without any expectations – mostly just to provide a positive comment. I like to leave it up to the other parents to comment or message back before suggesting meeting up or a playdate. Every family is different, so how each person is going to respond is different too."

4. Keep trying!

From @theconways13 Ricky and Jeff:

"Reach out to other families, start a light friendly conversation. Get to know each other and let conversations happen organically. If they lead to a play date great! Our first experience in meeting another lgbt family (not through ig/gwk) was very awkward cause there wasn't a whole lot of conversation happening before hand. The conversations leading up to the play date will help make the first play date with the family go a lot smoother and fun. Don't be afraid of not connecting with the other families. If it isn't successful the first time, continue reaching out to to other families- don't let it deter you from reaching out to others."

Fatherhood, the gay way

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