Gay Dad Life

Three Open Adoptions Later, These Dads Don't Regret a Thing

Matthew and David are what one might call high-school sweethearts. They met through a mutual friend in 2002 when Matthew was a junior in high-school and David was a freshman in college. They've been together 15 years, and were married October 18, 2013. A year earlier, the also became dads for the first time. Today, they have three beautiful kids through open adoption, which they can't recommend enough. Read about how this family is balancing open adoption, travel, and making time for one another.

Matthew and David always knew they wanted to adopt and have created their family through three open adoptions.

"Open adoption was even better than we expected!" shared the dads. "We now have a huge extended family!"

David (left) and Matthew with Finn

Matthew and David are very open and honest with their children about their adoption and their birth family. They've done this through keeping an open dialogue with their kids, and also creating an adoption book with family photos. Miles, their eldest who is 5 years old, is very aware of his adoption story and his birth family; he even sometimes refers to his birth parents as "birth mom" or "birth dad."

They keep in touch by texting the birth parents several times a week, sharing photos on a website every other month, and meeting in person 2-4 times a year. Their adoption agency also hosts an annual event for birth parents and adoptive families to get together.

"It's been great to see our birth families connect with one another. We often combine visits into one big one."

The dads are very thankful for the enormous role their adoption community and agency has played with their family, as it hasn't always been easy. Although Miles was adopted in 2012, it took another 3 years before they successfully adopted their second child, Ava,. They adopted Finn in 2017.

"We had two potential adoptions where we were caring for the babies in the hospital, and then the birth parents chose to parent," explained Matthew. "It was a difficult time, but we learned from those experiences."

It was heartbreaking for the two dads but they also decided to learn from them. They were reminded that things happen for a reason and three of their children eventually found their family for which they are so thankful.

One of the family's favorite things to do is travel.

"Our kids are pretty easy going when it comes to traveling," said Matthew, "We have brought them along for most of our adventures since they were born."

The family has a house in Costa Rica and it's the dads' favorite place to go, relax, and spend time together. They hope to travel even more when the kids are a little older.

"Exposing our children to different landscapes, cultures and experiences is really important to us."

And although these family trips are very special, Matthew and David also ensure they're making time for themselves. They do this by having a date night once a week, or a dinner date at home, as well as a week or weekend away every year, just the dads. They also run a lot.

"We have learned it makes us both better husbands and better parents," said Matthew and David. "Running is our escape and therapy to help us unwind."

Matthew ("Dad" or "Dr. Matt") and David ("Daddy David") always knew that adoption was the right path for them, and open adoption could not be going better for this family. That, along with the travel and making time for each other as husbands, makes this family so strong.

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