Gay Dad Life

Chris and Christopher, on Life with Their Newborn Triplets

Not even a heartbreaking miscarriage could stop Chris and Christopher from becoming parents. Now they're dads to triplets! Meet Conor, Logan and Parker, born July 3 this year, the adorable sons of two proud dads. We caught up with the Chris and Christopher to find out about their journey to fatherhood and what it's like having three under 6 months.

Chris and Christopher's wedding, October 17, 2015

The pregnancy

When husbands Chris and Christopher's first pregnancy ended with a miscarriage, they were devastated. It had been love at first sight for the couple that met on in 2011. They had discussed kids early in their relationship and becoming fathers was a crucial part of their future. Chris' sister, Megan, generously offered to be their surrogate, to which they are eternally grateful, but they were left heartbroken when she miscarried in August 2016.

But last year, tried again, and Megan once again became pregnant. But the day before Christmas last year, Chris and Christopher were enjoying lunch with friends when they received a text from Megan that she was bleeding and she'd gone to the hospital. She was 6 weeks pregnant at the time.

With the miscarriage from several years still fresh in their minds, It was an awful déjà vu for the husbands. Chris rushed to return his sister's call and her husband answered. Fortunately, Megan was okay. And so was the baby.

Or, rather, babies. During the hospital visit, Megan's doctor conducted an ultrasound and discovered not one heartbeat, but three.

"I almost fell to my knees in pure terror and joy!" said Chris, who was learning this news while still at lunch with his friends. "I called Christopher over to tell him the news. I then went back to the table and downed a bottle of wine and ate a breadbasket because keeping that secret from friends was a tough one!"

15 minutes before the birth

The birth

Despite the shock of carrying triples, Megan took the news in stride. It was an easy pregnancy and the birth was the same.

Chris and Christopher call Connecticut home so they traveled to Megan's home in North Carolina a week before the scheduled c-section. And they're glad they did.

A routine appointment showed that Megan was 5 cm dilated, and the cramps she had been experiencing all morning were contractions. She was quickly prepped for her c-section and 2 hours later, with Chris and Christopher in the room, Conor, Logan and Parker entered the world.

"The first few hours of parenthood were exciting and stressful," said Christopher. "They had every nurse and doctor on hand monitoring them to ensure they were healthy. As a new parent you have no idea what is going on … Nothing can prepare you for the chaos of that first day."

The triplets stayed in the NICU for 3 weeks despite being healthy weights for triplets. During that time, the new dads never left their side.

The couple slept on the room's pull out couch, and planned skin to skin every day while watching Disney movies on their phones. ("Our children will be Disney kids," Chris said.) The time was exciting, scary, and already seems like a distant memory, they say.

Home with triplets

Before the triplets were born, the dads had prepared by buying three of all the essentials. Three cribs, three Boppy pillows, three blankets. But when it comes to toys, the dads were clear that the boys would learn to share rather than having three of each.

They split parenting duties down the middle, telling Gays With Kids that they are a 50/50 team. What's their other secret to managing three? Sticking to a schedule.

"After arriving home when they were three weeks old, we quickly maintained the schedule they had in the NICU," shared Chris. "They only slept a couple hours at a time during the evening and my husband and I would alternate feedings so the other could sleep for a few straight hours."

The dads are also quick to acknowledge that Conor, Logan and Parker are good babies, not that they don't have the odd day or night when things fall apart and the nothing will appease them.

One of the most challenging parts is getting all three out the door. Gone are the carefree days of leaving the house in five minutes on a whim. Now, they say the simple act of going to the grocery store is like preparing for a two-week holiday.

First walk with the triplets


As all new dads know, once you become a parent, other people's advice quickly follows. Some of the most useful advice Chris and Christopher received was from another parent of triplets: Accept help when you can, and if one of the triplets wakes up to feed, wake them all up to feed.

Here are 11 pieces of sound advice from the new dads:

  1. The work is 50/50
  2. Get them on a schedule stat.
  3. Cuddle them as much as you can
  4. Take in all the little changes.
  5. Take a ton of pictures.
  6. Don't listen to other people's opinions about parenting, you are their parent and know what is best for them.
  7. Don't compare your child to other peoples kids, each child is different and has different needs and wants and therefore affects how you parent. We have three, and each of them is their own being, they all have different personalities, like different things, laugh at different things. One sleeps the other don't, one eats real well, the others don't. This is all normal and should be taken as you are raising an individual!
  8. If the day gets to be too much, maybe the baby is crying incessantly and simply won't stop, it is okay to walk away and take 5 minutes for yourself, as long as the baby is secure and safe.
  9. Always pack more than you think you need. Poop is your enemy.
  10. When changing, put a diaper under the dirty diaper...saves time and potential messes.
  11. Give them all the kisses.

And even with all the best advice in the world, there is only one person that the new dads really can't do without, and that's each other. They're a team, splitting fatherhood down the middle, loving and providing for their three happy sons.

We wish this family a lifetime of happiness, three times over.

Show Comments ()

Take a Virtual Tour of The Homes of These Famous Gay Dads

Many famous gay dads — including Neil Patrick Harris, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, and Ricky Martin — have opened up their homes to fans on the pages of Architectural Digest.

In each issue, Architectural Digest offers a peak into the homes of different celebrities. In recent years, they've featured the homes of several famous gay dads. Check out the videos and stories the magazine pulled together on the beautiful homes of Neil Patrick Harris, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, and Ricky Martin below!

Keep reading... Show less
Children's Books

New LGBTQ-Inclusive Children's Book Asks: What Makes a Family?

A new children's book by Seamus Kirst follows a young girl's journey of emotional discovery after she is asked which of her two dads is her "real dad."

Editor's note: This is a guest post from Seamus Kirst, author of the new LGBTQ-inclusive children's book "Papa, Daddy, Riley."

Throughout my life, I have discovered that reading provides an almost miraculous way of changing the way I think.

There is no medium that better offers insight into the perceptions, feelings and humanity of someone who is different from us. Through reading we become empathetic. Through reading we evolve. I have often emerged from reading a book, and felt like I was changed. In that, even in this digital age, I know I am not alone.

As children, reading shapes how we see the world. The characters, places, and stories we come to love in our books inform us as to what life might offer us as we grow up, and our world begins to expand beyond our own backyards.

Keep reading... Show less
Gay Dad Photo Essays

Interested in Foster Care? These Amazing Dads Have Some Advice

As National Foster Care Month comes to a close, we rounded up some amazing examples of gay men serving as foster care dads, helping provide kids with a bright future.

Every May in the United States, we celebrate National Foster Care Month. With over 437,000 children and youth in foster care, it's our honor to take a look at some of the awesome dads in our community who are opening their hearts and their homes, and providing these kids with a bright future.

Thinking about becoming a foster parent? Check out these resources here, and visit AdoptUSKids.

Meet the Foster Dads!

Keep reading... Show less
Transracial Families Series

This Transracial Family Relies on a 'Support Group' of African American Women

Puerto Rican dads Ferdinand and Manuel are raising a daughter of Jamaican descent — and love to find ways to celebrate their family's diversity

Our second feature in our transracial family series. Read the first one here.

Ferdinand Ortiz, 39, and his husband Manuel Gonzalez, 38, have been together for 7 years. In 2017, they became foster dads when they brought their daughter, Mia Valentina, home from the hospital. She was just three days old at the time. On December 13, 2018, her adoption was finalized.

Mia is of Jamaican and African American heritage, and her dads are both Puerto Rican. When Manuel and Ferdinand began their parenting journey through the foster care system, they received specific training on how to be the parents of a child whose race and culture was different from their own. "We learned that it's important to celebrate our child's culture and surround ourselves with people who can help her be proud of her culture." However, as helpful as this training was, the dads agreed that it would've been beneficial to hear from other transracial families and the type of challenges that they faced.

Keep reading... Show less
Personal Essays by Gay Dads

How the Shut Down Opened Me Up to Being a Better Dad

David Blacker's dad used to tell him to 'stop and smell the roses' — the shut down has led him to finally take the advice

"Stop and smell the roses." It was the thing my dad always said to me when I was growing up. But like many know-it-all kids, I didn't listen. I was determined to keep my eye on the prize. Whether it was getting good grades in school, getting my work published, scoring the next big promotion, buying a house or starting a family. For me, there was no such thing as resting on my laurels. It has always been about what's next and mapping out the exact course of action to get me there.

Then Covid.

Ten weeks ago, I — along with the rest of the world — was ordered to shelter-in-place... to stop thinking about what's next, and instead, focus on the here and the now. In many ways, the shut down made me shut off everything I thought I knew about being content and living a productive life. And so, for the first time in my 41 years, I have literally been forced to stop and smell the roses. The question is, would I like the way they smell?

Keep reading... Show less
Transracial Families Series

How This Transracial Family Creates a 'Safe Space' to Talk About Their Differences

Kevin and David know they can never understand what it's like growing up as a young black girl — but they strive to create a 'safe space' for their daughters to talk about the experience

Editor's Note: This is the first in a series of ongoing posts exploring issues related to transracial families headed by gay, bi and trans men. Interested in being featured as part of the series? Email us at

Is adopting a child whose race and culture is different from your own something that us queer dads need to talk about? Share our experiences? Learn from others? We've been hearing from our community, and the answer has been a resounding, "yes."

With over one-fifth (21.4%) of same-sex couples raising adopted children in the United States today (compared to 3% of different-sex couples), it's highly likely, at the very least, that those families are transcultural. According to April Dinwoodie, Chief Executive of The Donaldson Adoption Institute, Inc., all adoptive families are transcultural. "All, in my opinion, adoptions are transcultural because there are no two families' culture that is exactly the same, even if you went as far as to get very specific about the family of origin and the family of experience and almost make it cookie-cutter … no two families operate the same."

Keep reading... Show less
Gay Dad Life

Movie Night: My Favorite Family Tradition

As his sons have gotten older, the movies have morphed away from cartoons and towards things blowing up — but movie night remains his favorite family tradition.

Editor's Note: This is the next in a series of excerpts from Joseph Sadusky's new book, Magic Lessons: Celebratory and Cautionary Tales about Life as a (Single, Gay, Transracially Adoptive) Dad. The book contains many stories about his life as a dad, as well as lessons learned, and we're excited to share several excerpts from the the book over the course of the next few months. Read previous installments here!

Of all of our traditions and rituals, probably the most consistent and longest-lasting one was movie night. Sure, we read the heck out of Harry Potter. But our capacity for watching Harry Potter? We're talking Quidditch World Cup here, folks.

In its early version, movie night looked like this: During the week, I would order a movie and a cartoon from Netflix—back when "Netflix" meant "mail." On Saturday night—and I mean, faithfully, every Saturday night—we would order a pepperoni pizza (which Mark faithfully took the meat off of—I'll get to food later) for delivery and then sit and watch our cartoon and movies while eating. The kids had a say in the movie, but I got to pick the cartoon. They watched enough of their own cartoons on the regular, and besides, this gave me a great opportunity to introduce them to the wonders of Rocky and Bullwinkle and Josie and the Pussycats.

Keep reading... Show less

Fatherhood, the gay way

Get the latest from Gays With Kids delivered to your inbox!

Follow Gays With Kids

Powered by RebelMouse