Gay Dad Life

Life with a Newborn: Steven and Conor

This is the third article in our series to help prepare gay dads-to-be for their first few weeks of fatherhood with a newborn. Read our previous two family profiles here and here

Steven Darby met Conor Bonilla-Graham four and a half years ago at the G-A-Y nightclub in Manchester. For both of them becoming dads was their number one priority. On September 4 of this year they became fathers to George via surrogacy. Today, the family of three live in Manchester, England.

Steven describes their first month as new gay dads as magical. They are eternally grateful to their surrogate "Rebecca" who generously helped them become dads.

Steven holding George with Conor behind

The new dads, admittedly, have been very lucky with George. After a week of drinking 30ml every two hours, George began only needing 5 ounces every three to four hours. By midway through week three, Steven and Conor were putting George down at 10 p.m., up at 1 or 2 a.m., and then down again till 5 or 6 a.m. They had a good system in place, taking turns making the bottle while the other dad changed George's diaper.

"He put on a full pound in the first ten days so it's safe to say he's doing well," shared Steven.

Steven and Conor said that they felt prepared for the arrival of their son. Steven is one of seven siblings with sixteen nieces and nephews to give him help with fatherhood. For weeks they had their bags packed ready to rush to the hospital at a moments notice. After George’s birth they had wine and doughnuts ready to thank the midwives.

One thing the dads could not live without: George's bottle machine.

Connor, George and Steven

Gays With Kids: What has surprised you the most about fatherhood?

Steven and Conor: Our biggest surprise about being dads to our newborn son is how easy and natural it feels looking after him. We don’t feel the need to complain about lack of sleep nor about who does what. We work well together and every day is amazing. After all we have what we’ve always wanted!

Gays With Kids: Anything that hasn’t surprised you about fatherhood?

Steven and Conor: The one thing that hasn’t come as a surprise to us is lack of sleep. It was something that was expected but is well worth it!

Connor, George and Steven

"Everyday, we're so excited to wake up and care for our little boy. The birth of our son was when our life truly started."

Follow this family's journey on their Instagram page. 

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