At heart, a wedding is about two people who are in love standing up and declaring it in front of their closest friends and family. There are more similarities than differences between straight weddings and same-sex weddings but the traditional rules need no longer apply.
Want to walk up the aisle together? Go for it. Want to get your kids involved? Totally your call. While wedding planners are worth their weight in gold when it comes to planning, not everyone has the budget to afford a planner. Whether you're thinking of a simple elopement or a grand affair; we've got you. Just remember: it’s your special day.
- Engagement Norms Go Out the Window
- Wedding Vendors Are an Even Bigger Consideration
- Bucks Night is a Thing
- Walk Down The Aisle However You Like
- Fashion Goes Beyond Tuxedos
- Vows Are Yours to Own
- It’s a Whole Family Affair
1. Engagement Norms Go Out the Window
In a same-sex relationship, anyone can pop the question. When it comes to engagement, you might not need anything to propose, just a declaration of love. Most couples might choose to give their significant other a physical token of their affection. Monogrammed cufflinks or a nice watch might do the trick if rings aren’t your thing.
If you do want a traditional engagement ring, join the club in not knowing where to start. With so many metals, band and stone choices there’s a lot to consider - diamonds are a girl’s best friend but what’s yours? You can always go ring shopping together and pick out something truly special for each other. We’ve got more fabulous same-sex wedding ideas over on this blog, bookmark it for later.
2. Wedding Vendors Are an Even Bigger Consideration
At every wedding, vendors are vital to complement your big day and it’s equally important your venue is LGBTQ+ friendly. The world of wedding venues for all couples is blown wide open now, gay, bi and trans couples are hosting beautiful weddings in venues that range from rural vineyards to restaurants and rustic barns. Ultimately, it will just take a little bit of extra planning to find the right venue for you that’s inclusive.
When interviewing officiants to perform your ceremony, look for one who asks questions to find out what’s special about you and your relationship. They may ask if you want certain family members to take part in the service or if you both have children, an officiant may ask if you want a marriage of families rather than just two individuals.
Photographers capture moments to be cherished from your wedding forever, it’s a day that you’ve waited a long time for. Find a photographer that has experience in shooting same-sex weddings. That way you can find a photographer as excited about your wedding as you are and can be at the right place, at the right time.
Something many same-sex couples choose is to have a ‘first look’ where they see each other in privacy before the wedding. This is a perfect opportunity for the photographer to catch that wonderful moment you first lay eyes on one another.
3. Bucks Night is a Thing
Don’t be shy about breaking the mold when it comes to your pre-wedding parties. You’ve heard of stag parties but what about buck’s night? This is where both grooms have a joint celebration, combining both of their family and friends in one big activity. Think about the folks who’ve supported you and your relationship and ask them to join the fun!
Another option is to have separate parties but meet up at the end of the night so you still get to share the experience together. Or perhaps the groom would much rather have a day of family time than a night out clubbing?
4. Walk Down The Aisle However You Like
Same-sex weddings can really turn tradition on its head. Whether you want to walk down the aisle alone, together, one after the other or with your precious little ones - rather than getting caught up in old norms, see your wedding as an opportunity to throw an event exactly how you’d like it. That means if you want to skydive to the altar, you totally can.
5. Fashion Goes Beyond Tuxedos
Two tuxes? The question of what to wear for your same-sex wedding is one you might have to contemplate – simply because there are no ‘rules’ as such. Which is pretty exciting actually.
Don’t feel the need to wear matching suits, but if you both want to look dapper in the same attire, go for it. You should feel special in whatever you’re wearing. If you want to wear something different but tie both looks together, think about hidden accents like bowties, jacket lining, socks or boutonnieres that can complement each other. Follow tradition if you like or wear something that’s uniquely and unquestionably you.
6. Vows Are Yours to Own
Though traditional vows can be very beautiful, why not tailor your vows to suit you and your partner’s relationship, family and personal values? If your kids are feeling brave, it might be sweet if they read your vows for each other, making them heartfelt and truly emotionally charged.
Take a look at David and Josh’s wedding for inspiration.
7. It’s a Whole Family Affair
The modern wedding is something of a hodge-podge of traditions, with couples taking inspiration from other cultures and religions freely.
Same-sex weddings have always marched to the beat of their own drum. At the end of the day, though, when you put these differences aside, it’s about two people and two families coming together. And that, no matter who you are, is an amazing thing.
For more wedding content, from tips to gay, bi and trans friendly vendors, head over to the blog. Alternatively, you can take a look at our YouTube channel where we regularly share other queer families’ special days.