This is the first of a monthly collaboration between Gays With Kids and Two Men and A Baby.
In the words of Dave and Bart: "We've been inspired for years by all the adorable gay families on GWK, and couldn't be more honored to contribute to their community. GWK made us realize that starting our family was achievable, and kept us motivated along the many twists and turns of our journey. We created our channel to complement GWK --- GWK shows you the destination, the amazing pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, whereas our videos aim to cover the many micro-decisions along the way."
"When did you guys decide you wanted kids?"
It's a question we get all the time, but truth be told there wasn't a cataclysmic moment when we suddenly knew with every fiber of our beings that we wanted to start a family. In fact, if you would have told us fifteen years ago, or even ten years ago, that at some point in the future we'd be learning how to master the diamond swaddling technique, we'd have choked on our vodka sodas and sputtered "no freaking way." Not that becoming parents wasn't appealing a decade ago, but it seemed so outside the sphere of possibility that it wasn't even on our radar --- it was something our straight friends did.
Which is why welcoming our daughter Sloane into the world 10 weeks ago still feels like a bonafide miracle. We can't pinpoint exactly when becoming dads went from "yeah right" to "maybe we can actually do this," but we do know that when the desire to start our family gradually manifested itself, we had two incredible options right out of the gate: adoption and surrogacy. And now that Sloane is born, we're amazed at all the same-sex families who have come out of the woodwork to offer us tips on such fascinating topics as weekly bath schedules (we've settled on every other day) and the very best diaper disposal bins (the Playtex Diaper Genie, natch).
Dave and Bart holding Sloane
There's no question about it: we live in a truly amazing time. But unfortunately that's only true in a few corners of the globe; the vast majority of the world still doesn't allow the same rights and freedoms to gay couples looking to build their own loving families. Only a handful of countries beyond the U.S. allow same-sex surrogacy, and many destinations that used to be surrogacy-friendly (Thailand, Nepal, India) have recently become more restrictive with their laws.
We fully appreciate that surrogacy can be a challenging, emotional topic. But we unequivocally believe that all gay couples should have the right to get married, and the logical next step, to start their own families. Based on our own experience, we know that with the appropriate legal infrastructure and safeguards in place, the relationship between intended parents and surrogates can be beautiful and loving, not cold and transactional (which is the common misconception).
As policymakers around the globe evolve their stance on same-sex surrogacy, it's important for all of us to share our stories. The world needs to know that gay people can be awesome parents and that the surrogate relationship can be one of mutual respect. It's the main reason we started our YouTube channel, Two Men and A Baby, so that one day we can truly achieve the dream of #surrogacyforall.
Thanks for watching!
Dave & Bart