Guest post written by Nick He, authors of "Two Dads and Three Girls"
My name is Nick. I am 100% made in China. Growing up in China, being gay was not an option. I was denied a chance to be myself. Thanks to the Chinese education system, I also was not encouraged to seek my true self. Everyday, I was told to study, get a good score, go to a college, and to make my parents proud.
Growing up in Seattle, Bryan's happy family life was shattered by his parent's divorce. He quit college and worked in a local grocery store for 18 years. He knew that he liked boys when he was little, but chose to live a faked straight life.
These two broken souls met on Craigslist in 2010. At that time both of us were going through coming out by hooking up with guys online. Starting a relationship from a Craigslist hookup was not easy, and definitely not romantic, but we managed to make it work after so many almost-giving-up moments.
We decided to forget the past by focusing on building a future and collecting memories that we will cherish. We traveled as much as we could to collect photos on our wall. We got married in 2013.
Raising a family was definitely on our mind. Growing up as an only child, I always wanted to have a bigger family. We debated between adoption and surrogacy and finally chose the latter one.
We did surrogacy twice with the same surrogate, named Chelsie. We worked with an agent during the first journey, and worked with the surrogate directly in our second journey. In our first pregnancy, we had a lot of challenges: we had to change our surrogate, our egg donor contracted an STD, and we ultimately lost a pregnancy. Our second pregnancy also came with some challenges. Our twin daughters were born at 34 weeks and stayed at NICU for 3 weeks.
During the whole journey of battling sexuality and building a family, one thing that kept me floating is what Andrew Solomon said on this TED Talk: How the Worst Moments in Our Lives Make Us Who We Are.
The gay activist Harvey Milk was once asked by a younger gay man what he could do to help the movement, and Harvey Milk said, "Go out and tell someone." There's always somebody who wants to confiscate our humanity. And there are always stories that restore it. If we live out loud, we can trounce the hatred, and expand everyone's lives.
Andrew told his story to pass down hope, to infuse inspiration, and to make the world a better place. Although my story was nothing compared to his, maybe I had a story to tell?
Maybe, just maybe, our story could help somebody who is struggling with their sexuality because of their parents, or society, or religion. When all pointers are telling them that being gay isn't an option, they need to know there's hope if they have courage and love. Maybe it could help somebody who is giving up hope in finding a life partner because it seems that everybody is just interested in sex. Or somebody who is trying to create a family through creative avenues, such as surrogacy, or who might have some hiccups in their current journey.
Two Dads and Three Girls - Trailer
With that in mind, we decided to write down our story to share with future parents. "Two Dads and Three Girls" is my memoir. It talks about searching for sexual identity, falling in love, and building a life with three girls through surrogacy.
You can grab a copy on Amazon. All proceeds of the book in 2019 will go to a charity that will decided by the readers.
We also documented the details of spending on our surrogacy journey, down to meal expenses with our surrogate. You can download the detailed list of expenses at our website 2dads3girls.com and click Free Gift.