Gay Dad Photo Essays

Celebrate Mother's Day This Year by Checking Out These Fabulous Lesbian Insta-Mom Accounts

Most of our content focuses on gay, bi and trans dad. But this Mother's Day, we're bringing you ten two-mom families worth following on Instagram.

Although the majority of our content focuses on gay, bi and trans dads and dads-to-be, we're always excited for Mother's Day. It's when we get to show our love for all of the AMAZING sister-accounts out there that celebrate lesbian moms!

This Mother's Day, we asked a few of our fav two-mom Instagram accounts how they celebrate the special day, what they love most about being a mom, and what they've learned in the process.

Be sure to follow these awesome lesbian and bi women celebrating all things motherhood on Instagram.


"Being mamas has taught us to slow down and be patient, dance a little more" 

Saci and Jessica grew their family through known sperm donor home insemination. "It was important to us that our baby be half Black -- like Mommie Saci -- and that our child be able to mee the man when he's grown up, if he chooses."

On motherhood:

"Being mamas has taught us to slow down and be patient, dance a little more, and also how important family is to us - from our siblings to parents and even grandparents, Jai has brought such a light to our family and we are so thankful for our dude."

Follow the Duncan Minor family

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"Our daughter has strengthened our relationship as we communicate more"

Nyesha (Uma) and Samantha (Umi) had been together for seven years before welcoming daughter Abigail. "Samantha talked about children at the beginning of our relationship and while I told her I definitely wasn't ready, she understood but made it a non-negotiable that kids would be in the future." It was around year six when they both began sharing their feelings and jointly decided that a baby was part of their future. "We always knew she would get pregnant first so after many doctors visits and with a known donor we made it happen in 2018."

How this family celebrates Mother's Day

"Last year we shared gifts as a two-mom squad and spent the day at home with our baby. We embraced the wonderful calls and texts from our friends and family but it was nothing big since our daughter was only 3 months at the time. We did buy one another big gifts for the special day and both agreed that it was the last time we'd get a big gift just on Mother's Day.

We celebrate Mother's Day every day, we praise Abigail and are always thankful for her exciting presence."

Follow Umi and Uma here

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"Motherhood really helps you focus on what's important in life" 

From the moment Que and Jamilla met, Que made it clear that motherhood was something very important to her. "I always knew despite what my outward appearance may suggest to others, it was important for me to carry our child." Although the path to parenthood was not an easy one for the wives, they wouldn't change a thing. "We appreciate each day we get to spend with one another and are so thrilled about our second Mother's Day!"

The most important lesson these moms have learned...

"Harper teaches me every day to laugh! As long as we are healthy and happy, everything else will work itself out. She is so happy and fun loving. We hope she always retains her humor."

Follow Jamilla and Que here.

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"We forever have little friends and people that love us" 

Candice and Cynthia are new moms to triplets through ART. Candice has teenage daughter from a previous marriage and thought she was done having more children. After the two met, they realized they wanted children together, especially because Cynthia had never had any experience with babies and raising them since birth. "So after doing some research, we decided to give it a shot and attempted artificial insemination. On our first attempt, we ended up pregnant and with the biggest shock of our lives, we were pregnant with triplets."

The most important lesson they've learned as moms

"Sometimes you have to take things one day at time and your kids are always going to surprise you -- good and bad -- so be prepared."

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"The most wonderful thing about motherhood is feeling like I have a purpose in life now" 

Once moms Sondra Rae and Missy decided they wanted to bring children into the world, they decided to take the IUI route. "It took us months find the perfect donor and a doctor we adored." They experienced one failed attempt before becoming pregnant with their second IUI. "We are so thankful for our journey and wouldn't want to change it!"

The most wonderful thing about motherhood...

"Is feeling like I have a purpose in life now. Plus being able to see their smiles and personalities come through is amazing. I could be extremely exhausted but looking at them brings me so much joy."

Follow Sondra Rae and Missy

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"Motherhood has shown us what is really important and what to focus on in life" 

Moms Christina and Katie chose Reciprocal IVF to make their family. Katie carried Christina's egg and they used a donor's sperm. "We chose this route because we could both physically be part of the process."

How this family celebrates Mother's Day

"We make breakfast as a family then get outside for a hike or time at the park. We try to be outside and active as much as possible."

"Motherhood has taught us perspective. It's shown us what is really important and what to focus on in life. We don't waste our time worrying about things that don't positively affect our family."

Follow Christina and Katie here.

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"Slow down and take time to enjoy the slow moments... because the years go by way too fast" 

Angel and Leah has been together for 10 years before they got married, and were married for another 7 before they had kids. "We explored both foster to adopt and private adoption, spent hours scouring sperm bank catalogs for the perfect donor -- we wanted a Chinese donor and there aren't many to choose from -- and then, to our surprise, Angel's brother agreed to be our donor!" On their 10th try and first round of IVF, they became pregnant with twins who came out looking like both of them.

What has been the best thing about motherhood?

"Watching these tiny humans we created become their own individuals. We love to give them opportunities to explore new places through travel, and there's nothing better than watching their eyes light up when they experience something new for the first time!"

Follow Leah and Angel here.

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"Motherhood is not something we take for granted"

Raffinee and Micaela decided to use an anonymous sperm donor and IUI to get pregnant. Micaela got pregnant with their eldest first after four trials of IUI. Shortly after -- very shortly after -- Raffinnee became pregnant with twins after five IUI attempts. "Our children are 7.5 months a part, so for a few months out of the year we have three children the same age that are not triplets!"

What have you learned since become a mom?

"Motherhood is not something we take for granted. Like most members of our LGBTQ+ community we had to work hard to come into motherhood! After many doctors visits, months of waiting and many tries later we became moms and our worlds were forever changed.

Becoming mothers has been our greatest adventure together. It has surpassed all expectations in almost every way imaginable. Motherhood has taught me so many things but I think what stands out the most is selfless, unconditional love. Having to show up even when you are sick or exhausted was a tough lesson for me to learn at first! When I'm sick I just want to sleep and that is no longer possible, haha! This is truly a love unlike any I have ever known and I'm continually surprised by how much these little have shaped me as a person."

Follow Raffinee and Micaela here.

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"Our Mother's Days are basically about enjoying being together" 

America and Briana's path to motherhood was somewhat unexpected. "We married each other knowing neither of us wanted children; we were totally okay with being furbaby moms only." But in during their 12th year together -- their second married -- Briana was bit by the baby bug. Hard!

"After a lot of discussion and soul searching, we decided we were going to try to have a baby! Bri was on board to carry our baby, something I (America) never had a desire to do."

They found their sperm donor and decided to try home insemination. "You know how they say third times the charm? Yeah, she got pregnant on our third try, so we were very lucky."

How this family celebrates Mother's Day

"This year is our third Mother's Day with William. Because it's a day for both of us, we try to sprinkle the day with things that make us happy, with treats we both love. So far, this has included getting our favorite hand-crafted donuts, making art with our son's hands and footprints, beach walks, brunch out, napping together and cooking together. This year we're planning on planting tomatoes and finger painting wooden signs for our garden, and see whatever else the day brings. Our Mother's Days are basically about enjoying being together."

Follow America and Briana here.

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"It's an amazing feeling when you see your children happy!" 

Denise and Ebony both chose the path of fertility treatments to have their children. Through using an open ID sperm donor, Ebony became pregnant via IUI and Denise became pregnant with twins via IVF.

What have you learned since become a mom?

"The most important lesson we've learned from our kids, specifically from our daughter, is to live in the present moment. Our kids are growing up so fast, so we have to be fully present in order to not miss anything."

Follow Denise and Ebony here.

***

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Change the World

4 Tips for Using Instagram to Connect with Gay Dads Offline

We asked gay dads who have successfully met up with other LGBTQ families offline for some of their tips

Last week, we ran a story about several gay dads who did the unthinkable: meet other gay dads IRL after connecting on Instagram! We get MANY questions from gay dads wondering how they can meet up with others in their area, so we decided to dig a bit deeper this week to get their advice. What can gay dads do to meet others off the 'gram?

1. Be kind — share others' excitement in parenting!


From @twinlifedads Ben and Andy:

"Be kind. That is absolutely it. Be kind to each other and don't be afraid to reach out. Respond to each other when you can. Share in excitement for each other. There is no reason to bring someone else down who might be excited about how they are parenting."

2. Drop a couple comments and likes before reaching out!

From @brisvegasdad Tim and Nic:

"I think drop comments now and then on their posts and instastories and see where things land. Chances are, if you're commenting on a post and it is a heartfelt response, they'll click through to your account, look at your photos and connect with you. And that's when the magic happens - you can introduce yourself, talk about your lives and how things are being a parent... and after a while, if you're in the same neighbourhood, you meet up and grow your friendship organically. That being said, I'm obsessed with Bobby Berk from Queer Eye and his husband Dewey Do - if they ever had kids, I'd probably be completely unsubtle and leave strange awkward comments on their instaposts saying, 'GAY DADS MEET UPSSSSS'."

3. Go in with no expectations

From @stevecsmith Steve and Ben:

"I always try to reach out without any expectations – mostly just to provide a positive comment. I like to leave it up to the other parents to comment or message back before suggesting meeting up or a playdate. Every family is different, so how each person is going to respond is different too."

4. Keep trying!

From @theconways13 Ricky and Jeff:

"Reach out to other families, start a light friendly conversation. Get to know each other and let conversations happen organically. If they lead to a play date great! Our first experience in meeting another lgbt family (not through ig/gwk) was very awkward cause there wasn't a whole lot of conversation happening before hand. The conversations leading up to the play date will help make the first play date with the family go a lot smoother and fun. Don't be afraid of not connecting with the other families. If it isn't successful the first time, continue reaching out to to other families- don't let it deter you from reaching out to others."

Change the World

How Gay Dads Are Using Instagram to Connect

Meet the gay dads from around the world who are using our Gays With Kids Instagram account to connect with other gay dad families!

It can be easy to dismiss Instagram as nothing more than a place for us to pretend our lives our perfect — smiling families, exotic vacations, maybe a FaceTuned pic or two — but for gay dads, it's more than that. Sure, we share our perfect family pics, too. But for LGBTQ families, who still face discrimination all across the country and world, sharing a picture of two gay dads, smiling happily and proudly with their kids, is also a political act. And it provides us an opportunity to lift up and support one another, wherever our families are, in cities and towns big and small.

And we're proud to provide an avenue for these families to meet and connect via our Instagram page (which just reached over 100,000 followers!!)

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Entertainment

Hate Group Boycotts 'Toy Story' for Featuring Lesbian Moms—Hilarity Ensues on Twitter

"One Million Moms" announced a boycott of the latest Toy Story movie for *very briefly* featuring lesbian moms. Twitter's response was swift and hilarious.

One Million Moms, which is affiliated with the anti-LGBTQ American Family Association, recently called for a boycott of Toy Story 4 for (very, very briefly) featuring (interracial!) lesbian moms in the animated film. The angry, hateful moms affiliated with this group must have watched the film VERY closely because you could easily blink and miss the moment that apparently "blindsided" viewers.

The Internet reacted with a collective facepalm to the ridiculous boycott. Here are some of our favorite hilarious Twitter reactions to the hateful group:

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Politics

Utah Court Rules Gay Couples Can't Be Excluded From Surrogacy Contracts

The Utah Supreme Court found in favor of a gay couple attempting to enter into a surrogacy contract.

DRAKE BUSATH/ UTCOURTS.GOV

Earlier this month, the Utah Supreme Court ruled that a same-sex couples can't be excluded from entering into enforceable surrogacy contracts, and sent a case concerning a gay male couple back to trial court to approve their petition for a surrogacy arrangement.

As reported in Gay City News, the case concerns Utah's 2005 law on surrogacy, which was enacted prior to the legalization of same-sex marriage in the state. As a result, the content of the law is gendered, saying that surrogacy contracts should only be enforceable if the "intended mother" is unable to bear a child. When a gay couple approached District Judge Jeffrey C. Wilcox to enter into a surrogacy arrangement, he denied them, arguing that the state's law only concerned opposite sex couples.

"This opinion is an important contribution to the growing body of cases adopting a broad construction of the precedent created by Obergefell v. Hodges and the Supreme Court's subsequent decision in Pavan v. Smith," according to GCN. "It's also worth noting that same-sex couples in Utah now enjoy a right denied them here in New York, where compensated gestational surrogacy contracts remain illegal for all couples."

Read the full article here.

Personal Essays by Gay Dads

Thoughts and Prayers Aren't Working:​ One Father's Plea for Gun Reform

One gay dad's plea to our leaders to enact sensible gun control

My articles on GaysWithKids aspire to be lighthearted, helpful and humorous. This one won't be any of those things. Because I'm feeling heavyhearted, helpless and sad. Last week I woke up to news of yet another mass shooting. This time at a family-friendly Garlic Festival in northern California. I don't know if it's because this one hit so close to home, or if it's because the headline included a picture of the innocent 6-year old who was among those killed, but I am overcome with emotion. But mostly I am angry. And I don't know what to do with my anger.

Then, just a few days later came two additional horrific mass shootings that stole the lives of at least 32 more innocent people, many of them children. And then there's the "everyday" gun violence that plagues American cities like Chicago, where guns injured another 46 people this past weekend alone… creating so much turmoil, a hospital had to briefly stop taking patients.

How does one verbalize the collective sadness felt around the world? One can't. And that's why I am asking everyone reading this article to commit to getting involved in some way, to help end this epidemic once and for all. Even though the solution is so obvious, we can't allow ourselves to become numb to mass shootings. Because becoming numb isn't going to save anyone.

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Politics

Gay Russian Dads Forced to Flee Moscow

Fearing the Russian government might take their adopted kids into custody because of their sexual orientation, Andrei Vaganov and Yevgeny Yerofeyev fled Moscow

A married couple in Russia, with two adopted children, were just forced the flee their home in Moscow for fear that the authorities would take their children away, according to German news site Deutsche Welle.

Trouble started last month after investigators in Russia opened a criminal inquiry into the proceedings that had allowed the gay couple, Andrei Vaganov and Yevgeny Yerofeyev, to legally adopt the two boys —adoption by LGBTQ people in Russia has typically not been recognized. The government became aware of the adoption proceedings after the gay couple brought their 12-year-old son to the hospital, who was complaining of a stomachache. The boy was fine, but after he mentioned offhand that he was adopted and lived with two fathers, the doctor called the police.

Andrei and Yevgeny granted an interview with Deutsche Welle after escaping Moscow, but on the advice of their lawyers have yet to disclose where they are currently located. Here is a quick recap of that conversation:

"In connection with the 'propaganda of non-traditional values,' the state representatives are accused of having neglected their duty of supervision," Andrei said, when asked to explain on what basis the Russian government might take his children into custody. "This means that lesbian couples could even have their biological children taken away because, through their lifestyle choices, they propagate "certain values."

Yevgeny also explained the events that led to the couple's harrowing escape "I was alone in Moscow at that time. A week after Andrei and the children had left the country, there was a knock on my door, but nobody called 'police, open up.' After half an hour the violent knocking stopped. My parents' home was searched. They were looking for the children and our Danish marriage certificate because we got married in Denmark in 2016. My friends then got me out of the country."

Read the full interview here.

Gay Dad Family Stories

This Couple is Using 'Wheel of Fortune' Winnings to Help Fund Their Adoption

Need to raise money for your adoption fund? Why not try your luck on Wheel of Fortune like these guys!

Doug and Nick Roberts connected three and a half years ago via a dating app, and on their first date, the two immediately felt a connection. Doug, a psychologist, and Nick, a neuroscientist, were married 18 months later. Today the couple live in the suburbs of Philadelphia, and they're ready to start their next exciting adventure together: fatherhood.

The husbands would like to have children, and Nick has always wanted to adopt. "We considered surrogacy, and may consider it in the future as we expand our family," said Doug, "but right now, it is cost-prohibitive. Adoption was easily the right choice for us as we begin to grow our family.

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Fatherhood, the gay way

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