Gay Dad Photo Essays

Celebrate Mother's Day This Year by Checking Out These Fabulous Lesbian Insta-Mom Accounts

Most of our content focuses on gay, bi and trans dad. But this Mother's Day, we're bringing you ten two-mom families worth following on Instagram.

Although the majority of our content focuses on gay, bi and trans dads and dads-to-be, we're always excited for Mother's Day. It's when we get to show our love for all of the AMAZING sister-accounts out there that celebrate lesbian moms!

This Mother's Day, we asked a few of our fav two-mom Instagram accounts how they celebrate the special day, what they love most about being a mom, and what they've learned in the process.

Be sure to follow these awesome lesbian and bi women celebrating all things motherhood on Instagram.


"Being mamas has taught us to slow down and be patient, dance a little more" 

Saci and Jessica grew their family through known sperm donor home insemination. "It was important to us that our baby be half Black -- like Mommie Saci -- and that our child be able to mee the man when he's grown up, if he chooses."

On motherhood:

"Being mamas has taught us to slow down and be patient, dance a little more, and also how important family is to us - from our siblings to parents and even grandparents, Jai has brought such a light to our family and we are so thankful for our dude."

Follow the Duncan Minor family

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"Our daughter has strengthened our relationship as we communicate more"

Nyesha (Uma) and Samantha (Umi) had been together for seven years before welcoming daughter Abigail. "Samantha talked about children at the beginning of our relationship and while I told her I definitely wasn't ready, she understood but made it a non-negotiable that kids would be in the future." It was around year six when they both began sharing their feelings and jointly decided that a baby was part of their future. "We always knew she would get pregnant first so after many doctors visits and with a known donor we made it happen in 2018."

How this family celebrates Mother's Day

"Last year we shared gifts as a two-mom squad and spent the day at home with our baby. We embraced the wonderful calls and texts from our friends and family but it was nothing big since our daughter was only 3 months at the time. We did buy one another big gifts for the special day and both agreed that it was the last time we'd get a big gift just on Mother's Day.

We celebrate Mother's Day every day, we praise Abigail and are always thankful for her exciting presence."

Follow Umi and Uma here

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"Motherhood really helps you focus on what's important in life" 

From the moment Que and Jamilla met, Que made it clear that motherhood was something very important to her. "I always knew despite what my outward appearance may suggest to others, it was important for me to carry our child." Although the path to parenthood was not an easy one for the wives, they wouldn't change a thing. "We appreciate each day we get to spend with one another and are so thrilled about our second Mother's Day!"

The most important lesson these moms have learned...

"Harper teaches me every day to laugh! As long as we are healthy and happy, everything else will work itself out. She is so happy and fun loving. We hope she always retains her humor."

Follow Jamilla and Que here.

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"We forever have little friends and people that love us" 

Candice and Cynthia are new moms to triplets through ART. Candice has teenage daughter from a previous marriage and thought she was done having more children. After the two met, they realized they wanted children together, especially because Cynthia had never had any experience with babies and raising them since birth. "So after doing some research, we decided to give it a shot and attempted artificial insemination. On our first attempt, we ended up pregnant and with the biggest shock of our lives, we were pregnant with triplets."

The most important lesson they've learned as moms

"Sometimes you have to take things one day at time and your kids are always going to surprise you -- good and bad -- so be prepared."

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"The most wonderful thing about motherhood is feeling like I have a purpose in life now" 

Once moms Sondra Rae and Missy decided they wanted to bring children into the world, they decided to take the IUI route. "It took us months find the perfect donor and a doctor we adored." They experienced one failed attempt before becoming pregnant with their second IUI. "We are so thankful for our journey and wouldn't want to change it!"

The most wonderful thing about motherhood...

"Is feeling like I have a purpose in life now. Plus being able to see their smiles and personalities come through is amazing. I could be extremely exhausted but looking at them brings me so much joy."

Follow Sondra Rae and Missy

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"Motherhood has shown us what is really important and what to focus on in life" 

Moms Christina and Katie chose Reciprocal IVF to make their family. Katie carried Christina's egg and they used a donor's sperm. "We chose this route because we could both physically be part of the process."

How this family celebrates Mother's Day

"We make breakfast as a family then get outside for a hike or time at the park. We try to be outside and active as much as possible."

"Motherhood has taught us perspective. It's shown us what is really important and what to focus on in life. We don't waste our time worrying about things that don't positively affect our family."

Follow Christina and Katie here.

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"Slow down and take time to enjoy the slow moments... because the years go by way too fast" 

Angel and Leah has been together for 10 years before they got married, and were married for another 7 before they had kids. "We explored both foster to adopt and private adoption, spent hours scouring sperm bank catalogs for the perfect donor -- we wanted a Chinese donor and there aren't many to choose from -- and then, to our surprise, Angel's brother agreed to be our donor!" On their 10th try and first round of IVF, they became pregnant with twins who came out looking like both of them.

What has been the best thing about motherhood?

"Watching these tiny humans we created become their own individuals. We love to give them opportunities to explore new places through travel, and there's nothing better than watching their eyes light up when they experience something new for the first time!"

Follow Leah and Angel here.

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"Motherhood is not something we take for granted"

Raffinee and Micaela decided to use an anonymous sperm donor and IUI to get pregnant. Micaela got pregnant with their eldest first after four trials of IUI. Shortly after -- very shortly after -- Raffinnee became pregnant with twins after five IUI attempts. "Our children are 7.5 months a part, so for a few months out of the year we have three children the same age that are not triplets!"

What have you learned since become a mom?

"Motherhood is not something we take for granted. Like most members of our LGBTQ+ community we had to work hard to come into motherhood! After many doctors visits, months of waiting and many tries later we became moms and our worlds were forever changed.

Becoming mothers has been our greatest adventure together. It has surpassed all expectations in almost every way imaginable. Motherhood has taught me so many things but I think what stands out the most is selfless, unconditional love. Having to show up even when you are sick or exhausted was a tough lesson for me to learn at first! When I'm sick I just want to sleep and that is no longer possible, haha! This is truly a love unlike any I have ever known and I'm continually surprised by how much these little have shaped me as a person."

Follow Raffinee and Micaela here.

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"Our Mother's Days are basically about enjoying being together" 

America and Briana's path to motherhood was somewhat unexpected. "We married each other knowing neither of us wanted children; we were totally okay with being furbaby moms only." But in during their 12th year together -- their second married -- Briana was bit by the baby bug. Hard!

"After a lot of discussion and soul searching, we decided we were going to try to have a baby! Bri was on board to carry our baby, something I (America) never had a desire to do."

They found their sperm donor and decided to try home insemination. "You know how they say third times the charm? Yeah, she got pregnant on our third try, so we were very lucky."

How this family celebrates Mother's Day

"This year is our third Mother's Day with William. Because it's a day for both of us, we try to sprinkle the day with things that make us happy, with treats we both love. So far, this has included getting our favorite hand-crafted donuts, making art with our son's hands and footprints, beach walks, brunch out, napping together and cooking together. This year we're planning on planting tomatoes and finger painting wooden signs for our garden, and see whatever else the day brings. Our Mother's Days are basically about enjoying being together."

Follow America and Briana here.

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"It's an amazing feeling when you see your children happy!" 

Denise and Ebony both chose the path of fertility treatments to have their children. Through using an open ID sperm donor, Ebony became pregnant via IUI and Denise became pregnant with twins via IVF.

What have you learned since become a mom?

"The most important lesson we've learned from our kids, specifically from our daughter, is to live in the present moment. Our kids are growing up so fast, so we have to be fully present in order to not miss anything."

Follow Denise and Ebony here.

***

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Gay Dad Photo Essays

How Single Dads Are Celebrating Valentine's Day This Year

Valentine's Day is not just for lovers! We caught up with 8 single gay dads to see how they plan to celebrate Valentine's Day with this year.

Valentine's Day is not just for lovers; it's also a day to celebrate our loved ones. And that's exactly what these single dads are doing.

Within our community, GWK has a large group of admirable, active, and awesome (!) single dads and we want to honor them! On Valentine's Day, they and their kids celebrate their family unit in the sweetest possible ways. We asked the dads to share these moments with us, and, where possible, one of the most heartwarming things they've experienced with their kids on Valentine's Day to date.

Hear their stories below.

Keep reading...
Gay Dad Photo Essays

11 Gay Couples Share Secrets to Their Long-Term Relationships This Valentine's Day

This Valentine's Day, we spoke with 11 gay dad couples who've been together for almost a decade or longer to learn what's made their relationships last

You're the peanut butter to my jelly, the gin to my tonic, the strawberries to my cream, the Mr. to my Mr.!

Happy Valentine's Day folks! We're excited to celebrate this day of lurrrrvvve by featuring a few dads in our community who've been together for almost a decade or more! And they're ready to share their secrets to a successful relationship and parenting partnership.

Keep reading...
Personal Essays by Gay Dads

No, My Kids Don't Have a Mom; But I'm a Dad Who Learned From the Best

When his mom passed, Bradley Pounds couldn't imagine becoming a dad without her by his side. "But storms pass," he said, and "dreams endure."

A month before our first child was born via surrogacy, I came home late from work to find my husband sitting on the sofa in the dark. The blue light from the television lit up his face. His eyes were puffy; he'd obviously been crying.

Given the timing, I was surprised to see him in that state. This was our victory lap. Here's our story in a nutshell: After a nightmarish surrogacy journey failed a year prior, burning through 19 embryos and $50k with no results to show for either, we had opted to lay this project down and lick our wounds for a few years. Then, an incredibly generous woman stepped forward and offered to donate her eggs for no compensation. We took this as a sign that we were meant to get back in the game. We decided to throw a Hail Mary pass and try again, and this time we found ourselves working with an excellent reproductive clinic and surrogate sent straight from heaven. It all clicked, we got pregnant on the first try.

Keep reading...
News

What's it Like to Be a Child of the 'Gayby Boom'?

Tosca Langbert, who grew up with two dads, writes a piece for the Harvard Business Review about what it's like being among the first children of the "Gayby Boom" to come of age.

We've previously written about the pressure on LGBTQ parents to appear perfect, given that so many in the United States still feel out families shouldn't exist in the first place. And we know this pressure trickles down to our kids. But In an article for the Harvard Business Review titled 'The Gayby Boom Is Here to Stay," author Tosca Langbert eloquently writes, from her perspective, about the experience of beingone of the first children to come of age during an era when LGBTQ parenthood is far more commonplace. She and her two siblings, she notes, "were raised in a family that was an impossibility only decades ago."

In the article, Langbert said she knew from a young age that her family was different from those of most of her peers, who had one a father and a mother. But otherwise, she writes, she didn't feel like her family differed much. "Like any other parents, Dad sat in the carpool lane after school and taught us how to ride our bikes," she writes, "while Papa took us to the movies on the weekends and separated the whites from the colors."

Despite this mundanity, her family remained something to marvel at for much of her youth. When the family moved into a new neighborhood in 2006, it made the local newspaper, with a headline titled, "Gay Father Tests Tolerance in the Park Cities."

She and her siblings have spent much of their lives, she explained further, having to respond to the question: what's it like having two gay dads? For Langbert, there is only one correct response, which is: Amazing! "Any other response, even if simply accounting for a family's nuanced experience, might as well be an outright admission of failure on behalf of the entire LGBTQ community," she wrote.

Children of the 'Gayby Generation,' are also put in the position of having to come out on behalf of their parents, and "often with mixed results," she wrote. She gave the following anecdote as an example:

"My father was asked to step down from his leadership position in my brother's Boy Scout troop on account of his sexuality. Even though my siblings and I were only fourth graders at the time, we understood that our family was under strict scrutiny, and that even the slightest misstep could beget severe consequences for how competent our fathers were perceived as being. In the face of this pressure, the first generation of 'gaybies' recognized the importance of presenting their families as perfect; doing otherwise would only present ammunition to those already dubious about the rights of LGBTQ parents to raise children."

The entire article, which includes the perspectives of multiple now-grown kids that are part of the "Gayby generation," is well worth a read, which you can access here.


Politics

Utah Bill Would Allow Gay Men to Enter Surrogacy Contracts

Rep. Patrice Arent of Utah is sponsoring a bill that will remove a provision that currently prohibits gay men from entering into commercial surrogacy contracts in the state.

Though Utah is not one of the three states that currently prohibit commercial surrogacy contracts, the state's current policy does specifically exclude gay men from doing so. That may soon changed, however, thanks to a bill in the state's legislature that was unanimously voted out of a House Committee that would remove that restriction.

The bill, sponsored by Rep. Patrice Arent, D-Millcreek, a Democrat, was created in response to a ruling by the Utah Supreme Court this past August that found the ban on gay men unconstitutional.

Gay men have been excluded from legally entering surrogacy contracts due to a provision in the current law that requires medical evidence "that the intended mother is unable to bear a child or is unable to do so without unreasonable risk to her physical or mental health or to the unborn child," Rep. Arent told the Salt Lake Tribune — a requirement that clearly excludes gay male couples.

The state's original surrogacy law dates back to 2005, before same-sex marriage was legalized in the state, which accounts for the gendered language. Though the state's Supreme Court already ruled the provision unconstitutional, Rep Arent further told the Tribute that, "People do not look to Supreme Court opinions to figure out the law, they look to the code and the code should be constitutional."

Politics

Colorado Republicans Try and Fail to Outlaw LGBTQ Marriage and Adoption Rights

A bill introduced by four Republican state legislators in Colorado that would outlaw same-sex marriage and adoption rights was voted down.

The "Colorado Natural Marriage and Adoption Act," which would have outlawed gay marriage and adoption in the state of Colorado, was voted down in the state legislature this week. The bill was sponsored by Republican Rep. Stephen Humphrey and three of his conservative colleagues: Dave Williams, Shane Sandridge and Mark Baisley.

If enacted, the bill would have enforced "state law that marriage is between one man and one woman" and restrict "adoption of children by spouses in a marriage ... that consist of one man and one woman."

The bill, which had little chance of success, particularly in Colorado which has trended more progressive over the past several election cycles, was mostly symbolic, according to Sanridrge. "We all know this bill isn't gonna pass in this current left-wing environment," he told Colorado Public Radio. "It's to remind everyone, this is the ultimate way to conceive a child."

In a sign of how far we've come on the issue of LGBTQ marriage and parenting rights, most Republican legislators in the state did not endorse the bill.

Though the bill had little chance of passage, LGBTQ advocacy groups in the state are taking the threats seriously nonetheless. Daniel Ramos, director of the LGBTQ group One Colorado, told LGBTQ Nation that the bills were an attempt to return Colorado to its "hate status" of the 1990s, adding the aggressiveness of the measures were "a bit surprising."

Surrogacy for Gay Men

Dads Talk About Surrogacy Process in New Video for Northwest Surrogacy Center

The Northwest Surrogacy Center interviewed some of their gay dad clients for a video to celebrate their 25th anniversary of creating families through surrogacy!

Image: NWSC Clients

Last year, Northwest Surrogacy Center celebrated 25 years of helping parents realize their dreams. And they celebrated in style by inviting the families they've worked with over the past two and a half decades to join them!

At the party, they took the opportunity to film queer dads and dads-to-be, asking them a couple of questions: how did it feel holding your baby for the first time, and tell us about your relationship with your surrogate.

Watch the video below and get ready for the water works!

Keep reading...

Fatherhood, the gay way

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