Do Kids Need Both a Mom and a Dad?
Jake Aschmutat and Jim O'Malley are interested in having kids soon. But as they've begun to explore their prospects, they've faced some tough questions from family members: will the kids really be alright in a same-sex household?
"My boyfriend and I have been discussing having children after we get married in the not-so-distant future," Jake wrote to us via Facebook. "My parents are concerned about our future child not having a parental figure of the other gender in the child's life. They believe that the child's development will suffer, if he/she is not adequately exposed to parental figures of both genders. Do you have any resources that discuss this issue? I've only heard in passing of 'studies' that show that children of gay parents don't actually suffer their development."
We all know in our guts that LGBTQ people can raise happy and health kids. But what does the research actually say?
To find out, we sent Jake's inquiry to one of our GWK experts, James Guay, an LGBTQ-positive licensed marriage and family therapist. He says this concern is one he hears a lot from friends and family member of LGBTQ couples considering fatherhood.So, will not having a mom and a dad affect Jake and's future child?
"The short answer, as you might imagine, is no!" James says in his video response. "What's most important... is coming from a loving, caring, stable household. That's regardless of family structure, regardless of gender or sexual orientation of the parents."
Science, James continues, backs up this claim. He points to a recent article put out by the American Sociological Association.
"They provided a really concise evaluation about what research says over the past decades in the U.S." James says. "There is clear consensus that children that come from same-sex parent households fare just as well as from different sex household on a variety of different measures including: physiological wellbeing, academic achievement, sexual activity, substance abuse, early sexual activity, social development."
"Rest assured," James concludes. "It's all good." Keep us posted, Jake and Jim!
Have a question you want one of our experts to answer as part of our Ask An Expert advice column? Send an email with your question to firstname.lastname@example.org with “Ask An Expert” in the subject line!
The Long Island Adoptive Families support group was created by parents going through the adoption process or who had already adopted. It was a great way to help members navigate the path of adoption whether it be private domestic, international agency, domestic agency or foster care. We spoke with Chemene, one of the founders, and found out how this group is supporting local gay men interested in becoming fathers.
Adam Lozon and Scott Dufour met online and have been together 11 years.They live in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada, with their son Paulo. The couple are both in banking and are engaged to be married. We caught up with the dads to see how fatherhood was treating them!
Guest post from Greg Hutch.
It's two weeks before school starts and I am sitting in my classroom updating the photos in the frames on my desk. These frames used to be filled with pictures of my dogs, of me playing my instrument (I am a music teacher), or of the various other things that I have enjoyed in my lifetime. Today, they are filled with loving pictures of my family, including my son and partner who I raise him with. Times sure have changed…thanks to our son, Clark.
Editor's Note: In this ongoing series, we're shining the spotlight on some of the gay dads behind Gays With Kids as their incredible passion and commitment plays an invaluable role in making Gays With Kids possible. Please contact Brian Rosenberg if you'd like to talk about getting involved, too.
Happy gay uncles day to all the wonderful "guncles" out there! Here at Gays With Kids we know how important your roles are within our families so we want to celebrate you today, and say a big thanks! Enjoy this collection of "guncle" photos and a few words of wisdom and contemplations from the uncles themselves.
Two years ago when Oliver arrived into our lives, my partner Rob and I were living in separate countries. We met in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, and had Oliver when Rob was working in Bangkok and I was in KL. Oliver arrived two weeks early when we received an unexpected message from our agent saying to go to the hospital – our surrogate had been checked into hospital.
The day began like any other. My alarm went off at 4.30am. I snoozed until 5am. I ate breakfast until 5.30am, at which point my son, Felix, woke naturally like clockwork. I fed him mashed bananas, cashew butter and chia seeds. I woke my dad up with a cup of tea and handed the baton over for him to look after Felix as I left for work on my bike at 6.30am. I worked through the day as normal. Then, at 6.49pm I received a call from the police.