Gay Dad Life

Kid-Friendly Drag Shows? Yes, Please!

My family attended our first drag brunch recently. It was a holiday affair, advertised as a family-friendly event where Santa Claus would make a very jolly and gay appearance. To be honest, it felt a little strange bringing my two and four-year old children into an environment that's usually reserved for cruising and after-midnight merriment. And yes, there was some side-eye from the elder gays, rallying for their noon meet-up after what was undoubtedly an evening of college boy cruising and dollar give-a-ways at the go-go bar.


But damn be the side-eye! Living in a rural area, when I have the opportunity to expose my children to my community, you'd better be sure we'll be there. There were six children in attendance, and the lovely Nina West made it a point to talk with each of them, exuding a sassy kindness we expect from our drag superstars. My daughter sat in her seat, asking for more tickets (apparently what she now calls dollar bills) to hand to the ladies as they walked by lip-syncing to their favorite holiday tunes.

For gay and lesbian parents, it becomes too easy to fall into that typical "gay" agenda – praying the children let you sleep until 7:00 a.m., feeding and dressing them, taking them to pre-school, going to work, picking them up, feeding and bathing them, and then passing out, only to start the whole agenda afresh tomorrow. We become disconnected from our community – especially if your sense of gayness coming of age was wrapped in a Show Tunes Mondays veil of bar identity. Welcoming us into our former gathering spaces, with our children, not only brings a familiar sense of home but allows our children to normalize our LGBTQ brothers and sisters, and feel comfort and warmth in a space that isn't a typical learning environment.

There will always be those who say they go out to experience a good time, and a two-year old screaming with a dinosaur, in a space that is usually reserved for Hollister and Axe Body Spray, has no place blocking their server from bringing them a much-needed Bloody Mary. But I would argue, we need those runny noses and 4T dresses now more than ever. Our community is changing. Gay spaces are no longer about finding a safe space, but are now venues that can expand and inspire our growing community. We can marry. We can have children. For the 21-year old coming to the big city for the first time from his family farm, we're showing that your dreams are limitless. You certainly don't have to conform with society and manifest a heteronormative lifestyle, but if you want to raise children and jointly file a tax return with someone, you can do it.

But be sure, we'll only come on those days we're invited. On our once-a-year night away from the children, there is nothing better than throwing back a few drinks, watching music videos of people we've never heard of, and, invariably, talking about our children the entire evening. The invitation, however, now and then, to return with children is much appreciated. And it's not about finding that perfect dress or shirt so they gays don't judge them, but allowing my children to be a part of my community. After all, they may grow up to be straight. And allies with an intimate knowledge of the entire LGTBQ experience are invaluable. Their dedication to what is just and right will always win over those bachelorette parties. And guess what, we've taught them to tip better too.

Show Comments ()

Together over 18 years, Derek, an accountant, and David, a therapist and college professor, spent a long time waiting for the dream of a family to come true. They met through a mutual friend in the summer of 1999 in Boone, North Carolina, and now live in Newton, NC. Married in 2010, it wasn't till mid-2016 that they met their then 3-year-old son, Malachi. Here's their story.

Keep reading... Show less
Gay Dad Life

A Gay Dad, Raised Southern Baptist, Finds Happiness in Self-Acceptance

"If God made me in his image," says Hunter Bigham, "then I wasn't a mistake."

"I knew I was attracted to men at an early age, probably around 9 years old," shared Hunter Bigham, dad of three. "The Sears catalogue men's underwear section was the way I knew that. I finally figured out I was gay much later in my 30s."

As a devout Southern Baptist, Hunter did things the "right way." He dated a girl at school (whom he would later marry); they graduated college, moved to a new city, waited 4 years then had 3 kids.

Keep reading... Show less
Gay Dad Life

Nate Berkus and Jeremiah Brent Are Having a Baby Boy!

Nate Berkus and Jeremiah announced on Valentine's Day that they're growing their family.

Interior designers and reality T.V. stars, Nate Berkus and his husband Jeremiah Brent, announced via Instagram, in possibly one of the cutest pregnancy announcement videos ever, that they're expecting a baby boy! Their almost 3-year-old daughter, Poppy, burst into the video to declare to the to the world, "We're having a baby brother!"

Keep reading... Show less

You might remember Greg and Paul Yorgey-Girdey, along with their three adorable kids, from this Gays With Kids video. This charming family gave us a glimpse into their lives, and now they want to share even more about their family via their new personal blog, Dad, Daddy, & Kids. Greg (Dad) wrote a guest post for Gays With Kids explaining why they saw a void in the blogosphere and are trying to fill it.

Keep reading... Show less

In March this year, Antwon and Nate shared their exciting news with the Gays With Kids community: they were going to become foster dads! In May they caught us up to speed on their licensing, how they were getting prepared and what were their next steps. Now, several months later, they're still waiting ...In this video, Antwon and Nate give us an update.

Keep reading... Show less
Gay Dad Life

Tom Daley and Dustin Lance Black Are Having a Baby!

Famous gay husbands, Olympic diver Tom Daley and filmmaker Dustin Lance Black, have some excited news: they're going to be dads!

Announced on Instagram this Valentines Day, 2018, Tom Daley and Dustin Lance Black shared their exciting news via a couple of simple photos on each of their accounts.

Keep reading... Show less
Gay Dad Life

Perfect Valentine's Day Gifts for Gay Dads and Dads-to-Be

Looking for that perfect Valentine's Day gift for the gay dad in your life? We got you covered

We know that families come in all shapes and sizes, especially in our own homes. Many of us have had to overcome a lot of hurdles in our lives to be with the men we love and our families. That is why Valentine's Day is the perfect opportunity to express and recognize the special love we have with our partners and children.

However, gift giving isn't for the faint of heart.

Keep reading... Show less

Fatherhood, the gay way

Get the latest from Gays With Kids delivered to your inbox!

FOLLOW OUR FAMILIES

Follow Gays With Kids

Powered by RebelMouse