Gay Dad Life

Cooking with Kids: An Interview with David Burtka

David Burtka sits down with us to talk about his new book "Life is a Party."

When you're a young couple it's easy to order in or dine out on a daily basis, but when the kids come along, spending time in the kitchen to prepare nutritious and healthy meals for them can become a problem for some dads. We turned to gay dad and celebrity chef David Burtka who just published his debut recipe book Life is a Party, to get some advice, inspiration, and support as we take our baby steps in the kitchen.



One of the main things we learned from our interview with David is that healthy eating habits for your kids stem from the way we, the parents, behave and interact with them when it comes to food. "I think that some parents also don't want to put up a fight and don't want to argue with their kids so they'll just make a second meal," David says. "You know, there's no option in our house, there's no second meal. What we're eating for dinner they're eating for dinner."

"My kids will eat anything you'll put in front of them. And I think that there's a lot of parents that just give their kids jarred baby food, and there's no salt, there's no flavor, and of course they're learning to eat bland so no wonder they just want to eat chicken nuggets and macaroni and cheese. I think that the more we try to expose our kids [to flavors] the better eaters they will be."

For those who struggle in the kitchen, David suggests to start with cooking chicken. "A roast chicken is one of the easiest things you can possibly do," he says. "All you do is you pat it, you put salt and pepper on it, you put it in the oven, 425 for an hour. That's it.

"You can have it that evening and then you can have chicken for the whole week. And there's so many things you can [make from it], like soup or chicken pot pie, chicken enchiladas or a chicken salad – which is putting it on a regular green salad. It has endless possibilities. Even with a roast, you can cut half of it and put it in the freezer, I mean, proteins freeze really well, you can put them in the freezer for two weeks and then repurpose it in another way. That's what I'm always doing."

Other quotes from the interview:

David cooks, Neil does the dishes

"Neil doesn't do sue chef with me I'm usually doing it by myself but he's great at cleaning up. It's a given that if I'm gonna cook, he's going to do the dishes."

Still in touch with the surrogate

"Because of the situation that we're in and being in the limelight we just wanted to keep it as secret as possible, like I don't want photographers coming to her house or into her world, so we try to keep it as private as possible. I keep in touch with her more than Neil, I just heard from her she was taking a test, she went back to school and was taking a whole course on human sexuality, and one of the questions had to do with Neil and I so she took a picture of it. It was really interesting."

The toughest year of parenting

"The hardest age was I think zero to one. With twins, literally, I don't even remember. It's a haze. The lack of sleep is just beyond. You can't function as a human being. I think that only around three I started to go 'okay… I think I start to become a normal person again.' And it puts such strains on your relationship, after five, six, seven – seven is when Neil and I started connecting again, which is a really big deal."

"We were together for a while before the kids came so you have this bond and then the kids come and it shakes it all up, it's a snow globe. And it really puts how you guys see each other as parents, and your relationship change, you change as people and your relationship change and you have to just be open to change and know that things take a different turn and I think this is when a lot of people get into trouble with marriages, I think they realize, 'oh he's not the person he was 10 years ago.' Well, of course he's not, and you have to be open to that and accept that, and realize that there's an unknown out there."

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Gay Dad Life

Karamo Brown Co-Writes Children's Book with Son, Jason

The 'Queer Eye' star and his son named the story on a family mantra: You are Perfectly Designed

When his sons, Jason and Chris, were young, "Queer Eye" Star Karamo Brown repeated the same saying to them: "You are perfectly designed."

That mantra is now a Children's Book, cowritten by Karamo and his 22-year-old son, Jason, who used to come how and "say things like, 'I don't want to be me, I wish I was someone else, I wish I had a different life." As a parent, that "broke my heart," Karamo told Yahoo! Lifestyle. "I would say to him, 'You are blessed and you are perfect just the way you are,' as a reminder that you have been given so much and you should be appreciative and know that you're enough — I know that the world will try to tear you down, but if you can say to yourself, 'I am perfectly designed,' maybe it can quiet out some of those negative messages."

The illustrations, by Anoosha Syed, also make a point of displaying families of a variety of races and sexual orientations throughout the book.

Read more about Karamo's fascinating path to becoming a gay dad here, and then check out the video below that delves deeper into the inspiration behind "You Are Perfectly Designed," available on Amazon.



Gay Dad Life

"Daddy, Which Belly Did I Come From?"

How do gay dads talk to their kids about the women that helped bring them into the world?

When you tell your kids the story of how they came to be, is the woman who delivered them identified by a face and a name? That's a decision that every gay dad has to make when it comes to having kids through surrogacy or adoption. In this episode we explored two ways of keeping in touch with the birthmother (for adoptive kids) or the gestational surrogate (for IVF and surrogacy) as part of gay dads' children's birth story.Some adoptive parents choose to have an 'open adoption,' where the child gets to meet the birthmother. Parents who go through surrogacy sometimes keep in touch with the surrogate and have their kids meet her when they are old enough.

Keep reading...
Gay Dad Life

Ricky Martin: Puerto Rican, Gay Dad, Revolutionary

Superstar Ricky Martin has been participating in a mass movement in Puerto Rico, which this week led to the the resignation of the Governor, Ricardo Rosselló

Earlier this week, Puerto Rico Gov. Ricardo Rosselló announced his resignation Wednesday days after hundreds of thousands of demonstrators — which made up the island's largest protest in recent — called for his removal after private chats were leaked the contained, among many other things, homophonic content.

Superstar Ricky Martin protested alongside many in the country — setting an amazing example for his kids as to what's possible when people rise up and stand for what's right. He chronicled the week's protests on Instagram, some of our favorites of which are below:

Ricky Martin with fellow Puerto Rican celebs Bad Bunny and Residente, calling for the Governor's resignation. 

News

Indiana Court Says Couples Using Sperm Donors​ Can Both Be Listed on Birth Certificate — But Ruling Excludes Male Couples

The 7th US Circuit Court of Appeals ruled in favor of the plaintiffs in the case, a major victory for LGBTQ parents — but the Attorney General may appeal to the Supreme Court.

On Friday, a US Circuit Court of Appeals upheld a ruling from a lower court that said that both parents in a same-sex relationship are entitled to be listed on the birth certificate — previously, the state of Indiana had required the non-biological parent within a same-sex relationship using assisted reproductive technologies to adopt their child after the birth in order to get her or his name listed on the birth certificate, a lengthy and expensive process not required of straight couples in the same situation.

It's a double standard LGBTQ parents have long been subjected to in many states across the country. So this represent a major win. As reported by CNN, this ruling "takes a lot of weight off" the shoulders of LGBTQ parents, said Karen Celestino-Horseman, a lawyer representing one of the couples in the case. "They've been living as families and wondering if this was going to tear them apart."

The 7th US Circuit Court of Appeals deliberated the case, according to CNN, for more than two and a half years, which is one of the longest in the court's history.

However, because all the plaintiffs in the case involved female same-sex couples using sperm donors, the ruling left open the similar question of parenting rights with respect to male couples. Indiana's Attorney General, moreover, may also appeal the case to the Supreme Court.

We'll be following the case closely and be sure to keep you up to date. For more on this recent decision, read CNN's article here.

Personal Essays by Gay Dads

As a Gay Dad, What's the Impact of Letting My Son Perform Drag?

Michael Duncan was excited when his 10-year-old son asked if he could perform in drag for charity — but he also felt fear and anxiety.

As LGBT parents, we have all lived through some sort of trauma in our lives. For many it is the rejection of our family, being bullied, or abuse. We learn to be vigilant of our surroundings and often are very cautious of who we trust. As adults, we start to become watchful of how much we share and we look for "red flags" around every corner.

So, what effect does this have on our children? Does it unintentionally cause us to be more jaded with our interactions involving others? For some the answer may be a resounding "no." But as we look deeper into the situation, we often find that through survival our interactions with others have changed and we may not even realize exactly how much we are projecting on those around us.

Keep reading...
Diary of a Newly Out Gay Dad

A Gay Chiropractor Explains Why He Came Out to His Patients

After Cameron Call, a chiropractor, came out to his family this past year, he knew he had one more step to take — he had to come out to his patients

Fear is an interesting thing. It motivates when it shouldn't, shows at inconvenient times, and is the author of stories that do nothing but hold us back. I would argue though, too, that fear has some good qualities. I believe it helps us to feel. And I think it can be a great teacher as we learn to recognize and face it.

For years fear prevented me from embracing my truth and accepting a large part of who I am. I know I am not alone in that regard. But for so long my fear convinced me that I was. Fear is what kept me from ever telling my parents or anyone growing up that I am gay. Fear mingled with strong religious teachings, embraced at a young age, which led me to believe that I could cure myself of my attractions to the same gender. And fear is a part of what kept me in my marriage to a woman for over ten years.

Keep reading...
Personal Essays by Gay Dads

A Gay Dad Gains Clarity After a Health Scare

A recent health scare helped give Erik Alexander clarity.

Sometimes fear can cripple the mind and hinder ones judgement. Having children of my own, I have come to grips with accepting the things I cannot change and learned to take action when there is no other choice. When it comes to my own personal health, the future and well being of my family gives me all the clarity I need to make the right decision about any kind of health scare.

This episode is dedicated to all the parents out there that are going through or have gone through similar situations.

Keep reading...

Fatherhood, the gay way

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