Gay Dad Life

Cooking with Kids: An Interview with David Burtka

David Burtka sits down with us to talk about his new book "Life is a Party."

When you're a young couple it's easy to order in or dine out on a daily basis, but when the kids come along, spending time in the kitchen to prepare nutritious and healthy meals for them can become a problem for some dads. We turned to gay dad and celebrity chef David Burtka who just published his debut recipe book Life is a Party, to get some advice, inspiration, and support as we take our baby steps in the kitchen.



One of the main things we learned from our interview with David is that healthy eating habits for your kids stem from the way we, the parents, behave and interact with them when it comes to food. "I think that some parents also don't want to put up a fight and don't want to argue with their kids so they'll just make a second meal," David says. "You know, there's no option in our house, there's no second meal. What we're eating for dinner they're eating for dinner."

"My kids will eat anything you'll put in front of them. And I think that there's a lot of parents that just give their kids jarred baby food, and there's no salt, there's no flavor, and of course they're learning to eat bland so no wonder they just want to eat chicken nuggets and macaroni and cheese. I think that the more we try to expose our kids [to flavors] the better eaters they will be."

For those who struggle in the kitchen, David suggests to start with cooking chicken. "A roast chicken is one of the easiest things you can possibly do," he says. "All you do is you pat it, you put salt and pepper on it, you put it in the oven, 425 for an hour. That's it.

"You can have it that evening and then you can have chicken for the whole week. And there's so many things you can [make from it], like soup or chicken pot pie, chicken enchiladas or a chicken salad – which is putting it on a regular green salad. It has endless possibilities. Even with a roast, you can cut half of it and put it in the freezer, I mean, proteins freeze really well, you can put them in the freezer for two weeks and then repurpose it in another way. That's what I'm always doing."

Other quotes from the interview:

David cooks, Neil does the dishes

"Neil doesn't do sue chef with me I'm usually doing it by myself but he's great at cleaning up. It's a given that if I'm gonna cook, he's going to do the dishes."

Still in touch with the surrogate

"Because of the situation that we're in and being in the limelight we just wanted to keep it as secret as possible, like I don't want photographers coming to her house or into her world, so we try to keep it as private as possible. I keep in touch with her more than Neil, I just heard from her she was taking a test, she went back to school and was taking a whole course on human sexuality, and one of the questions had to do with Neil and I so she took a picture of it. It was really interesting."

The toughest year of parenting

"The hardest age was I think zero to one. With twins, literally, I don't even remember. It's a haze. The lack of sleep is just beyond. You can't function as a human being. I think that only around three I started to go 'okay… I think I start to become a normal person again.' And it puts such strains on your relationship, after five, six, seven – seven is when Neil and I started connecting again, which is a really big deal."

"We were together for a while before the kids came so you have this bond and then the kids come and it shakes it all up, it's a snow globe. And it really puts how you guys see each other as parents, and your relationship change, you change as people and your relationship change and you have to just be open to change and know that things take a different turn and I think this is when a lot of people get into trouble with marriages, I think they realize, 'oh he's not the person he was 10 years ago.' Well, of course he's not, and you have to be open to that and accept that, and realize that there's an unknown out there."

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Gay Dad Life

Karamo Brown Co-Writes Children's Book with Son, Jason

The 'Queer Eye' star and his son named the story on a family mantra: You are Perfectly Designed

When his sons, Jason and Chris, were young, "Queer Eye" Star Karamo Brown repeated the same saying to them: "You are perfectly designed."

That mantra is now a Children's Book, cowritten by Karamo and his 22-year-old son, Jason, who used to come how and "say things like, 'I don't want to be me, I wish I was someone else, I wish I had a different life." As a parent, that "broke my heart," Karamo told Yahoo! Lifestyle. "I would say to him, 'You are blessed and you are perfect just the way you are,' as a reminder that you have been given so much and you should be appreciative and know that you're enough — I know that the world will try to tear you down, but if you can say to yourself, 'I am perfectly designed,' maybe it can quiet out some of those negative messages."

The illustrations, by Anoosha Syed, also make a point of displaying families of a variety of races and sexual orientations throughout the book.

Read more about Karamo's fascinating path to becoming a gay dad here, and then check out the video below that delves deeper into the inspiration behind "You Are Perfectly Designed," available on Amazon.



Gay Dad Life

"Daddy, Which Belly Did I Come From?"

How do gay dads talk to their kids about the women that helped bring them into the world?

When you tell your kids the story of how they came to be, is the woman who delivered them identified by a face and a name? That's a decision that every gay dad has to make when it comes to having kids through surrogacy or adoption. In this episode we explored two ways of keeping in touch with the birthmother (for adoptive kids) or the gestational surrogate (for IVF and surrogacy) as part of gay dads' children's birth story.Some adoptive parents choose to have an 'open adoption,' where the child gets to meet the birthmother. Parents who go through surrogacy sometimes keep in touch with the surrogate and have their kids meet her when they are old enough.

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Gay Dad Life

Ricky Martin: Puerto Rican, Gay Dad, Revolutionary

Superstar Ricky Martin has been participating in a mass movement in Puerto Rico, which this week led to the the resignation of the Governor, Ricardo Rosselló

Earlier this week, Puerto Rico Gov. Ricardo Rosselló announced his resignation Wednesday days after hundreds of thousands of demonstrators — which made up the island's largest protest in recent — called for his removal after private chats were leaked the contained, among many other things, homophonic content.

Superstar Ricky Martin protested alongside many in the country — setting an amazing example for his kids as to what's possible when people rise up and stand for what's right. He chronicled the week's protests on Instagram, some of our favorites of which are below:

Ricky Martin with fellow Puerto Rican celebs Bad Bunny and Residente, calling for the Governor's resignation. 

What to Buy

Shop with a Purpose with Our 2019 Holiday Gift Guide

Want to find amazing gift ideas while *also* supporting LGBTQ-owned and allied businesses? Look no further than our 2019 holiday gift guide!

'Tis the season to show loved ones you care. And what better way to show you care, by also supported our LGBTQ+ community and allies whilst doing it! Shop (LGBTQ+) smart with these great suggestions below.

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Diary of a Newly Out Gay Dad

A Newly Out Gay Dad Feels 'Demoted' After Divorce

Cameron Call showed up to his first family Thanksgiving since coming out and getting a divorce — and struggles to find himself "stuck with the singles."

Cameron Call, who came out in summer 2019, has generously agreed to chronicle his coming out journey for Gays With Kids over the next several months — the highs, lows and everything in between. Read his first article here.

Denial is an interesting thing. It's easy to think you're potentially above it, avoiding it, assume it doesn't apply to you because you'd NEVER do that, or maybe you're just simply avoiding it altogether. After finally coming out, I liked to think that I was done denying anything from now on. But unfortunately that's not the case.

And this fact became very clear to me over Thanksgiving.

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Resources

New Report Details the 'Price of Parenthood' for LGBTQ People

A new report by the Family Equality Council takes a deep dive into the current state of cost for becoming a parent as an LGBTQ person

Parenthood is expensive. But parenthood while queer is still prohibitively costly for so many segments of the LGBTQ community interested in pursuing a family, according to a new repot by the Family Equality Council, titled, "Building LGBTQ+ Families: The Price of Parenthood."

Among the more interesting findings was this one: the cost of family planning is relatively similar for all LGBTQ people, regardless of income level. This shows "that the desire to have children exists regardless of financial security," the report's authors conclude.

Research for the report was conducted through an online survey of 500 LGBTQ adults over the age of 18, and was conducted between July 11-18, 2018. For comparison, the survey also included 1,004 adults who did not identify as LGBTQ.

Other interesting findings of the report include:

  • 29% of all LGBTQ+ respondents reported an annual household income under $25,000 compared to 22% of non-LGBTQ+ respondents.
  • 33% of black LGBTQ+ respondents, 32% of female-identified LGBTQ+ respondents, and 31% of trans/gender non-conforming LGBTQ+ respondents reported annual household incomes below $25,000.
  • Respondents for this survey were selected from among those who have volunteered to participate in online surveys and polls. All sample surveys and polls may be subject to multiple sources of error, including, but not limited to sampling error, coverage error, error associated with nonresponse, and error associated with question-wording and response options.29% of all LGBTQ+ respondents reported an annual household income under $25,000 compared to 22% of non-LGBTQ+ respondents.
  • 33% of black LGBTQ+ respondents, 32% of female-identified LGBTQ+ respondents, and 31% of trans/gender non-conforming LGBTQ+ respondents reported annual household incomes below $25,000.
  • Regardless of annual household income, 45-53% of LGBTQ+ millennials are planning to become parents for the first time or add another child to their family. Those making less than $25,000 a year are considering becoming parents at very similar rates as those making over $100,000.
  • Data from the Family Building Survey reveals that LGBTQ+ households making over $100,000 annually are considering the full range of paths to parenthood, from surrogacy and private adoption to foster care and IVF. The most popular options under consideration in this income bracket are private adoption (74% are considering), foster care (42%), and IVF or reciprocal IVF (21%). At the other end of the economic spectrum, for LGBTQ+ individuals in households making less than $25,000 annually, the most commonly considered paths to parenthood are intercourse (35% are considering), foster care (30%), and adoption (23%).

What to Buy

A Gift Guide for LGBTQ Inclusive Children's Books

Need some ideas for good LGBTQ-inclusive children's books? Look no further than our gift guide!

Every year we see more books released that feature our families, and we're here for it! We're especially excited for the day when diverse and LGBTQ+ inclusive books are less of "the odd one out" and rather considered part of every kids' everyday literacy.

To help us reach that day, we need to keep supporting our community and allies who write these stories. So here's a list of some of the great books that need to be in your library, and gifts to the other kids in your lives.

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