Gay Dad Family Stories

Two Illusionists Tackle Their Trickiest Act Yet: Fatherhood

After Ryan's sister offered her "oven," Chris and Ryan were able to form their family through surrogacy.

When Chris was a little boy, he found a magic trick at the bottom of his cereal box and quickly became hooked on magic. Little did he know that this was to be the start of a career in the art of illusion. Ryan had a similar formative experience at a similar age when he received a magic kit for his birthday and started doing shows for friends and family. "Our hobby continued as we grew older and we were doing shows for schools, banquets, and corporate events," said Chris.

In 2005 they met in Michigan. "We were both performing separately and event coordinators double booked us for the same event," said Ryan. "So on the spot we created a two-man show and the result was amazing; we had chemistry on stage and off, and the rest is history."

Yet, the rest is far from history. The rest tells a story of two illusionists who, while living and working abroad in Guam, became dads with the help of incredible family members and wonderful friends. So let's start after that serendipitous meeting, and what lead them to become dads.


After their two-man show success, Chris and Ryan Zubrick began touring and creating their illusionist act together. "We were performing and touring around the Midwest when we saw a job posting on an online forum for a headlining act overseas," said Chris. They submitted their promotional material and eventually got the job in June 2007. "A two year contract in Saipan turned into a 7.5 year contract and we were then promoted and moved to their theatre in Guam - it was a much larger theatre and production." (Their current contract takes them through till April 2020.)

On October 10, 2013, Ryan and Chris were married.

As they both always wanted kids – "It was something we had talked about all along" - they began their adoption journey with an agency based in Portland, Oregon. But just as they were about to get into the waiting pool of parents-to-be, they received an email from Ryan's sister Kimberly, which included this unforgettable and life-changing line:

"I have an oven that has never been used, in good shape, and I wanted to see if you needed it?"

At first, Ryan and Chris were so blindsided by the offer, they took it literally. "Looking back, we laugh to ourselves because we didn't know why Kimberly was offering us an "oven" as ours was in perfectly good condition!" chuckled Chris. "Could we be so naïve?"

So excited by Kimberly's generous offer, they shared the news with their longtime friend, a genetic counselor, to learn more about the process of surrogacy. To both of their surprise, their friend said, "If you guys are looking for eggs, I'd be more than happy to donate mine!"

"Everything seemed to be falling into place for us," said Ryan.

They parted ways with their adoption agency and began researching surrogacy in California. Because of their unique situation, and the decision to not involve a third party agency, they struggled to find professionals that would work with them. "We knew things would not be without complication," said Chris. "Kimberly was family and this would be her first pregnancy. And on top of that, our egg donor was a really close friend, but we knew it would be worth it in the end."

"It was taxing emotionally, but after months of searching and being rejected countless times, we found a team of lawyers, psychologists and a fertility clinic who would work with us regardless of our unique situation," said Ryan. "Thankfully, California has some of the best surrogacy laws already in place for us."

The dads-to-be traveled to Santa Monica for the sperm donation and embryo transfer. They were able to transfer two embryos to Kimberly, one fertilized by each husband; only one took, and a few months later they found out at their gender reveal that they were having a boy! Ryan and Chris were thrilled and began to make plans to be there for the birth. (They had FaceTimed in for all the doctor's appointments and ultrasounds from Guam.)

The day finally came, and the dads were scrubbed up and ready to welcome their son into the world, when the birth plan went out the window. "Ryan's sister experienced a placenta abruption, cutting off Oliver's life line for about 6 minutes," explained Chris. "She was rushed in for an emergency C-section." The dads were not allowed in for the surgery, and due to his time without oxygen, their son had to be rushed via ambulance to the Children's Hospital in LA where he stayed for two weeks undergoing cooling therapy. "We were unable to pick him up or hold him," remembered Ryan. "It was very difficult." Being there for the birth, cutting the umbilical cord and experiencing skin-to-skin contact all disappeared, but thankfully, after two weeks, their son, Oliver was released and cleared all his milestones, and the dads were finally able to take him home.

Today, the family of three start their day a little later than most families due to their evening performance schedule, typically rising around 9:30am. The day is then filled with activities, errands, walks, beach expeditions, and anything to do with the water as Oliver loves it all! Around 6:30pm, Ryan and Chris head to work – "the theatre where we perform is right across the street from our house" – and Oliver goes to a sitter's or they come watch him at his house.

Around 10:30pm, Ryan and Chris have finished their performances and come home to Oliver or collect him from his sitter's. "We have a late dinner and play," said Chris. "He usually has a lot of energy." At 11:45pm they start the bedtime process: pajamas, stories, and teeth brushing, then bed. The dads usually follow around 2am.

Within the small community of Guam, Ryan, Chris and Oliver have only received positive comments and acceptance. "We are local celebrities due to our profession so everyone knows us," said Chris. "From locals and tourists alike we have only experienced positive responses about our same sex family."

Ryan and Chris agree that although they encountered some difficulties when pursuing fatherhood, they were very fortunate in their journey to become dads. And through their experience, they have some advice: "There will be hurdles and challenges and times when it seems like it may not be worth it, but it so is. Rely on each other for support, take small breaks from the process if need be, but if it's something you really want, push through and think about how awesome being a father will be."

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Gay Dad Family Stories

Demolition Daddies: These Gay Dads Recently Appeared on House Hunters Renovation

The dads say their star turn on the popular HGTV show is all thanks to their two-year-old son, Theo, who charmed the producers

"I'm really not sure what our lives were like before having our son," pondered Matt. "I remember always doing stuff, but I have no idea how I wasted all that personal time that I find so precious now. I took so many showers without someone trying to pull all the towels down to make a bed on the bathroom floor. It must have been nice, but also wasn't as memorable."

Matt DeLeva and fiancé Joseph Littlefield met in 2014 at a Pride event at the San Diego Zoo, and have a 2-year-old son Theo through adoption. For this Los Angeles-based couple, and like many others, becoming dads was an emotional rollercoaster. Before being matched with Theo's birth family, they had two other connections with birth moms that didn't work out. "Each was upsetting," said Matt. "When you talk to birth mothers, you start to get excited and mentally plan your future. When it doesn't work out, it feels like a loss."

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You've probably heard of Pete Buttigieg, the young gay mayor running to be the Democratic nominee to challenge President Trump in 2020. But the town of South Bend, Indiana, may soon have another gay politico rising star in the form of Alex Giorgio-Rubin, a dad to a 12-year-old son.

Alex is running for a seat on South Bend's Common Council, in part, he says, to help make all families – including ones like his own – feel welcome.

As an out, married, gay dad, living in a Jewish household, raising a son who is on the Autism spectrum, Alex feels he can offer a unique perspective. "We come from the state that produced Mike Pence," said Alex. "We come from the state that made national headlines because of a bill that would allow businesses to discriminate based on sexual orientation; it's fair to say that the cards are stacked against my family, and many, many other families like mine."

Alex, who is currently a stay-at-home dad raising his adopted son, 12-year-old Joseph, is married to Joshua Giorgio-Rubin, a Senior English Lecturer at the Indiana University of South Bend. The two have been together for six years.

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These Two British 'Poofs' Blog About Their Journey to Fatherhood Via Adoption

In their blog "Two Poofs and a Pudding," Tim and Darran write about their adoption journey as same-sex parents in the U.K.

Tim and Darran met online in December 2015. They met for a drink on December 18, and by New Year's Eve they were "official." When the subject of becoming dads came up, they were both excited but at a loss as to where to start. In 2017, after deciding adoption was the right path for them, they began their journey and in the process, started a website to chronicle their experience and to help others who were considering same-sex adoption in the UK: Two Poofs and a Pudding. Fast forward 18 months, their "Pudding" is at home with his dads. Here's their experience with the UK adoption journey, so far.

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This Gay Couple Was Inspired to Become Foster Dads Thanks to the Show "The Fosters"

Matthew and Brian say they used to feel like "unicorns" as gay foster dads. They're happy to see more LGBTQ couples take the plunge into the foster system.

Matthew Hamparian and his husband Brian Lawrence have been together for over 18 years and live in Columbus, Ohio. "We had talked about children for a long time," shared Matthew. They were inspired by the show "The Fosters," and watched it regularly as one of the staffers of the show was a friend of Brian's. In one of the episodes, Matthew remembers a conversation between a foster child and the biological child of his foster parents. The foster child asks if he was okay with the fact that he had to share his home with foster siblings. He responds that he is okay with it, because he and his family have enough of everything.

"It was very meaningful to us as we were both raised that when you got up the ladder, you threw the ladder back," explained Matthew.

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Terrell and Jarius need your help. Earlier this week they were made aware of an act of discrimination against a male transgender student at Johnson High School in Gainesville, Georgia

"Dex Frier was elected by the student body to run for prom king but is now facing backlash from the school's administration," shared the dads via their Instagram. "The school's Superintendent is forcing Dex to either run as prom queen or not run at all. This is very unjust and does NOT reflect the opinion of the parents nor the students."

Watch their video below:

Dex, 17, who came out identifying as male in his sophomore year, spoke with Gainsville Times about being nominated by the student body. "Frier said he kept his emotions in check while at school, but 'the moment I got home, I immediately started crying. I've never been shown so much support before,' Frier added."

He was later informed by school officials that his name had been withdrawn and he could only run in the prom queen ballot.

Sadly, there have been rival petitions started in support of Dex's nomination being withdrawn, and he's received backlash from those who believe he shouldn't be able to run.

Although Terrell and Jarius do not know Dex personally, they were made aware of what was happening through Jarius co-worker who is a parent at the school. "He's such a brave kid and is standing firm in his beliefs, and we should support him," said Jarius.

These dads are asking all of us to take a minute and sign this petition and share with friends and family, or anyone you think could help.

Surrogacy for Gay Men

Learn How These Dads Used Social Media to Find Their Surrogate

In the latest "Broadway Husbands" vlog, Bret and Stephen discuss the rather unconventional way in which they found their surrogate: through a Facebook group.

In this, the Broadway Husbands' sixth video, Bret Shuford and Stephen Hanna discuss the rather unprecedented process they went through to find their surrogate. The lucky couple also chat about winning an "Intended Parents" competition, which granted them the free services of a surrogacy agency who is now helping guide them (and their new surrogate!) on their journey.

In the first video below, get caught up to speed with the dads-to-be. Plus: there's bonus footage! Ever wondered about the financial side of their journey? In the second video, Bret and Stephen talk candidly about how they're managing to afford their dream of fatherhood.

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Gay Single Dads Defend Andy Cohen's Right to Be on Grindr

After the Internet rushed to judge Andy Cohen for signing onto Grindr a couple of weeks after welcoming his newborn son home, fellow single gay dads rushed to his defense.

Last week, we wrote a post about reports that "What What Happens Live" host Andy Cohen had been "spotted" on gay dating app Grindr several weeks after welcoming a newborn into his home. This has some of his followers on social media all worked up"

"Get off Grindr and start being a dad," said one follower who appeared to think single parents must take a vow of celibacy the minute they start changing diapers. "You're sad, that kid has no chance," said another.

Well, suffice it to say that this judgment from people who are presumably not single gay dads of Andy Cohen certainly struck a nerve with our gay dad audience! We received well over 100 comments on this post on Facebook, the vast majority of them coming to Cohen's defense. We caught up with two fellow single gay dads to find out why the story struck a nerve.

"We don't have to live like monks!"

One of the most liked comments on our piece came from Owen Lonzar, who wrote the following:

"I have always been a good single father to my biological son who came to live with me when he was 7 years old. He is now 25 years old and we are very close. I used Grindr and dated while he lived with me. I never had anyone sleep over and he certainly never saw some man he didn't know hanging around my home. Single parents have to date responsibly and with sensitivity to their child but that doesn't mean they have to live like monks!"

We asked Cohen to elaborate a bit more on why the backlash against Cohen bothered him. He had the sense, he said, that much of the criticism against LGBTQ parents comes from gay men without children. "Gay men without kids have a lot to say," he said. "And all of it is ignorant, because they have no idea what it means to actually be a father." He said he was particularly disappointed in gay critics, given our shared history of discrimination. "You would think with all the prejudice we have faced that gay men would be less judgmental themselves," he said.

"Are we supposed to be celibate?"

Another commenter, Josue Sebastian Dones-Figueroa, who is a divorced father of five, questioned what Cohen's critics would prefer him do. "So what, parents are supposed to become celibate because they have kids?" he asked.

We followed up with Josue to ask him to elaborate a bit more: "The idea that just because he is a dad that he would need to stop being a man," he said, questioning why Cohen should have to put his life hold and stop dating, or having sex, just because he's now a father. "If the child is cared for loved and not neglected what is the problem? Life goes on right?"


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