Expert Advice

How to Make Gay Families Stronger [with Their Money]

Do you all too often have more month left over at the end of your money? Do you work hard for your paycheck only to watch it go out faster than it comes in? Do you ever wonder how you'll put your children through school?

You're not alone. The truth is that even though "gays are fabulous" (and we are), most of our community is struggling financially.

And we can relate.

Who are we?

After dating for 18 months, we came out of the closet to each other about our money, and it wasn't pretty. We were $51,000 in credit card debt. Ouch! Sure, everything looked good on the outside. But we were hurting on the inside.

We were the gay cliché of being fabulous but fabulously broke. Ever feel this way?

You see, coming from times and places when it wasn't okay to be gay, we were both bullied, picked and treated differently because we were – well – different. We grew up feeling like we weren't as good as the other kids. Can you relate?

Then, when we found the courage to come out of the closet and moved away from our families to find other people like us, we were so insecure and wanted so desperately to fit in with the other gays, that we thought we needed all the right things – clothes, home, travel, careers, partners, stuff – all the right outward appearances – so we wouldn't be othered by another community. Our community. Sound familiar?

We paid off that credit card debt in less than three years! It took a lot of soul searching, and we attribute that success to figuring out what was most important to us. Sixteen years later, today, we're helping other queer people achieve the same financial security.

Is queer money different than straight money?

If you thought you (and now us) were alone in this struggle, did you know that:

  • same-sex couples with at least once child under the age of 18 have 20% more credit card debt than their straight peers and have almost 90% more student loan debt?
  • queer college graduates have 16% more student loan debt than non-queer graduates?
  • 57% of our community says their current financial condition harms their mental health?

So, no, you're not alone. Yes, our community has systematic and personal struggles with money. Yes, there's something we can do about it but knowing there's a problem isn't enough.

Just like wanting to have children or land a better paying job, we must do something to get what we want.

Is there help? Yes!

You see, we want to help build a stronger queer community. We believe that for us to get stronger than we are today, we need financially stronger LGBTQ individuals and allies. The stronger we are as a community, the more we can push for the equality that our community and families still need.

We want to thank Gays with Kids for letting us introduce ourselves, our blog debtfreeguys.com and our podcast, Queer Money® where we help queer people (and our allies) solve their money problems and use their careers to achieve financial success.

Look out for more information coming from us to help you do just that, and check out our Gays With Kids page. In the meantime, you may find this information of ours below helpful:

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Fatherhood, the gay way

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