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How Much Does Surrogacy REALLY Cost Gay Men?

There are a few factors that can cause the final cost of surrogacy to vary. Here's a cost-by-cost breakdown.

Surrogacy is an incredible way to grow your family. When researching surrogacy, one of the first questions intended parents ask is: "How much does it cost?" And rightfully so. Surrogacy is a financial investment as much as an emotional one.

Just like every surrogacy journey is personal and different, the costs of surrogacy and egg donation also vary for each situation.

How much will a surrogacy journey cost for you? That depends on your specific situation.

There are a few factors that can cause the final cost of surrogacy to vary. For example, for IVF, have you identified an egg donor? Have you already created embryos? Also, costs vary depending on the agency with which you work, as some agencies, such as Circle Surrogacy, offer a variety of programs from which to choose.


Surrogacy Costs: What They Are and What They Cover

It's hard to put a price tag on bringing a baby into your family – it's a wonderful and fulfilling gift. However, you need to be prepared for the costs associated with a surrogacy journey.

In order to get the most accurate understanding of how much a surrogacy journey will cost, it's best to look at the individual pieces of the total journey so that you can identify what your expenses will be.

Each agency is different, and the costs and fees (and coverage) varies. Imagine your expenses and costs being broken up into 4 categories: Professional Fees (Agency), Carrier/Egg Donor Fees, Insurance Costs and IVF Costs.

As an example, here is a breakdown of Circle Surrogacy's Costs and Fees that you can expect with a singleton surrogacy journey:

Professional Fees

The professional – or Agency – fees, cover fees associated with the process, such as Matching; Screening; Journey Coordination and Support; Legal; Accounting and Medical Billing. These costs can range between $36,500-$46,000.

Carrier/Egg Donor Fees

These fees cover the base fees (compensation) for your Carrier and Egg Donor, all travel-related fees, Carrier bedrest, local monitoring for your Carrier and Egg Donor, continencies, and outside legal and screening. These costs can range between $61,500-$75,000.

Insurance Costs

Insurance costs can depend on whether your Carrier is able to use her insurance, or if you're purchasing an insurance plan. Insurance costs cover the insurance premium/Carrier payment (if she's using her insurance), co-payments and deductibles, complications, life insurance, insurance defense, and a back-up policy. These costs can range between $15,000-$26,000.

IVF Costs

IVF costs vary and are dependent on the clinic with which you work. IVF costs cover embryo creation, screening, transfers and medications. These costs can range between $20,000-$45,000.

Is There Anything NOT Covered in The Costs?

The expenses outlined above are expenses you can plan for on a journey. You should also consider the expenses that may arise based on your personal journey and your preferences. For examples, additional expenses can include your personal travel (your visits with your surrogate, attendance at ultrasounds, etc) including airfare, hotels and food. Also, should your surrogate be pregnant with twins, the above costs would increase to account for additional payment to your surrogate and insurance for twins.

Making Surrogacy Affordable for YOU

As mentioned, every surrogacy journey is unique to each intended parent's situation. There are a few things you can do to help reduce the costs of growing your family through surrogacy:

  • Consult your IVF clinic. Some clinics offer package deals, unlimited transfers, etc.
  • Know your donor. Some intended parents turn to close friends to be their egg donors, or use an egg bank vs an egg donor
  • Choose the location of your surrogate and donor. When your donor and surrogate live closer to your IVF clinic, it will help save you money on travel costs
  • Talk to your employer and see if they have benefits that would apply to you and your journey

Agencies Can Be More Expensive – Is It Worth It To Work with an Agency?

In a word…YES!

Working with a surrogacy agency not only provides legal and social work support throughout your journey, your agency will help manage all of the costs associated with your journey. It's important to work with an agency you trust. Surrogacy is an investment and the reward is immeasurable! However, you need to be confident and comfortable going into the journey, and you should have a full understanding of the gestational surrogacy costs.

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Politics

Daughter of Married Gay Couple Who Used Surrogacy Abroad Isn't Citizen, Says U.S. State Department

A decades-old law can be used to discriminate against gay couples who use surrogacy abroad.

James Derek Mize and his husband Jonathan Gregg are both American citizens, but their daughter, born via a surrogate, may not be, at least according to the U.S. State Department.

The New York Times took an in-depth look at this case in a piece that ran in the paper yesterday. While James was born and raised in the U.S, his husband Jonathan was originally born in Britain. That may be enough, according to the State Department, to deny their daughter citizenship.

"We're both Americans; we're married," James told the New York Times. "We just found it really hard to believe that we could have a child that wouldn't be able to be in our country."

According to decades-old immigration law, a child born abroad must have a biological connection to a parent that is a U.S. citizen in order to be eligible to receive citizenship upon birth. Children born via surrogacy are determined to be "out of wedlock," according to the Times report," which then requires a more onerous process to qualify for citizenship, such as demonstrating that a biological parent is not only an American citizen, but has spent at least five years in the country.

The intent of the law, which dates back to the 1950s, was to prevent people from claiming, falsely, that they are the children of U.S. parents. But LGBTQ advocates argue this archaic policy is being used intentionally to discriminates against same-sex couples, who often have to rely on donors, IVF and surrogacy in order to have biologically children, and are thus held to a higher standard.

"This is where our life is. This is where our jobs are," James told the Times. "Our daughter can't be here, but she has no one else to care for her."

Read the whole story here.


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Netflix Documentary Explores a Gay Chinese-American's Path to Parenthood Via Surrogacy

"All In My Family," a new short documentary by filmmaker Hao Wu, explores his family's struggle to accept his sexuality and decision to pursue surrogacy in the United States

Filmmaker Hao Wu's latest documentary, released on Netflix this past week, explores his coming out story and his path to becoming a gay dad via surrogacy in the United States. Viewers watch as Wu comes out to his Chinese parents, who are not accepting of his sexual orientation.

As the film's synopsis notes, Wu, the only male descendant in his Chinese family, was "raised with a certain set of expectations - excel at school, get a good job, marry, and have kids." He achieves each of these goals, but as a gay man, he hasn't done so in the way his family had hoped. The film follows Wu brings his husband and children to China to meet his family, many of who are still unaware of his sexual orientation.

"I wanted to show the challenges for gay people of Chinese descent, what kind of cultural and generational barriers and differences they have to negotiate in order to build a family of their own," Wu said in an interview with InkStone.

Watch the moving documentary in full here.


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This Surrogate Helped Two Different Gay Couples Realize Their Dreams of Becoming Dads

Shelly Marsh says her daughters are her "life," and wanted to share that love as a surrogate for two different gay couples.

We've shared hundreds, possibly thousands, of stories about GBT men who've become dads through the many different paths to fatherhood. We've thanked the women who've made our dreams come true; we wouldn't be dads without their, in many cases, selfless acts of love. Amongst the courageous birth moms, and our co-parenting counterparts, are the surrogates who carry our children. It's a very personal decision to become a surrogate, but Shelly's choice was simple: if she could help others experience the joys of parenthood, she would.

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So you're ready to adopt. How do you know your adoption agency won't just discriminate against you as a gay man, but is actively welcoming to LGBTQ people?

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Gay Dads Featured in Enfamil Commercial

A new ad for Enfamil showcases two gay men talking about their daughter.

The best kind of inclusion is when you're not singled out but instead included right along with everyone else. This kind inclusion inspires others to pursue their own dreams and desires, just like any one else. As part of our popular culture, we know that brands are uniquely suited to inspire us in this way.

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David Burtka sits down with us to talk about his new book "Life is a Party."

When you're a young couple it's easy to order in or dine out on a daily basis, but when the kids come along, spending time in the kitchen to prepare nutritious and healthy meals for them can become a problem for some dads. We turned to gay dad and celebrity chef David Burtka who just published his debut recipe book Life is a Party, to get some advice, inspiration, and support as we take our baby steps in the kitchen.

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Popular

Couple That Met at the Gym Now Spotting Each Other Through Fatherhood

How two real New-Yorkers became two soft-hearted dads

This article is part of our family feature series with Circle Surrogacy, a surrogacy agency that has been helping LGBTQ+ singles and couples realize their dream of parenthood for the past 20 years.

Byron and Matthew Slosar, both 41, met ten years ago at one of New York City's Equinox gyms. "I asked him for a spot on the bench press," smiled Byron. The couple were married September 22, 2012.

Surrogacy was always the way Byron and Matthew wanted to become parents. They chose to wait and become dads later in life, until they had established careers and the financial means to pursue their chosen path.

They signed with Circle Surrogacy after interviewing a few agencies. "We immediately connected with their entire staff, particularly Anne Watson who lovingly dealt with my healthy neuroses on the daily for 1.5 years," said Byron. "They definitely personalized the service and helped us understand all 2,000 moving parts." The dads-to-be were also very impressed with how much emotional support they received from Circle.

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