Happy Mother's Day From Gays With Kids!
To all of the women who have supported the journey of gay, bi and trans men towards fatherhood — thank you, and happy Mother's Day
Mother's Day can be complicated holiday for many gay, bi and trans dads and their kids. Choosing how, when — or even if — to celebrate the day is a uniquely personal decision. But no matter how we've become dads, women have helped us achieve our dreams of fatherhood. And for that reason, we've loved celebrating all of the women who have supported our journeys to fatherhood, in ways big and small, over the years. Check out some of our favorite photos, essays, articles and more below!
Changing The Way We Think About Mother’s Day
Asaf Rosenheim-Patton writes:
Our family belongs to a gay synagogue, so most of the parents who attend the children's services with their kids are gay. One Yom Kippur our rabbi asked for a show of hands. "Who has two moms?" she asked. "Who has two dads? Who lives with a grandparent or an aunt or uncle? Who has only one mom? One dad?" And so on. The kids kept on raising their hands, one group after another, sometimes giggling, sometimes saying something proud like "ME!" Finally, rabbi Weiss asked: "Who has a mom and a dad?" All the (mostly gay and lesbian) parents in the room raised their hands. And then it hit me: while we are trying to provide our children with alternative views of families, the families we grew up in are almost always the traditional nuclear mom-and-dad model; for most of us, this was and still is our parenting experience.
Although the majority of our content focuses on gay, bi and trans dads and dads-to-be, we're always excited for Mother's Day. It's when we get to show our love for all of the AMAZING sister-accounts out there that celebrate lesbian moms!
This Mother's Day, we asked a few of our fav two-mom Instagram accounts how they celebrate the special day, what they love most about being a mom, and what they've learned in the process.
Be sure to follow these awesome lesbian and bi women celebrating all things motherhood on Instagram.
Mother's Day the Gay Dad Way
While Mother's Day may be a holiday made up by the greeting card industry, it's here, it's not particularly queer, and everyone is certainly used to it. Each year moms across the country are celebrated with flowers and gifts. Children are encouraged to write letters at school celebrating women who raised them, and mothers who parent children are afforded their due respect.
However, not all children have mothers in their lives. So we set out to talk to gay dads to see how they would be recognizing the holiday. It turns out that as the modern definition of family morphs, so do traditions associated with honoring it. Read more here!
A Gay Dad's Tribute to ALL Kinds of Moms This Mother's Day
Erik Alexander writes:
Ya know, as life marches forward and the older I get, the more I understand and appreciate the dedication and resilience of my own mother. As long as I can remember, Mother's Day has been special in our home. The unwavering commitment and tireless devotion that lady has shown for her family is selfless and humbling. The hardships she has seen in her life have helped shape her character and transform her into an even more compassionate and benevolent person.
Celebrate Mother's Day with 12 of our Fav Lesbian Mom Instagram Accounts
Gays With Kids may be a site dedicated to gay, bi and trans dads and dads-to-be. But we love all of the AMAZING sister-accounts out there that celebrate lesbian moms, too! This Mother's Day, do yourself a favor and check out these 12 accounts of lesbian and bi women celebrating all things motherhood on Instagram.
Gay Men to the Women Who Made Them Dads: Thank You
They may not be "mom" but as Mother's Day approaches, these gay dads are giving thanks to the birth mothers, surrogates, egg donors, and other women in their lives who helped make them dads. Read more here!
No, My Kids Don't Have a Mom; But I'm a Dad Who Learned From the Best
Bradley Pounds writes:
A month before our first child was born via surrogacy, I came home late from work to find my husband sitting on the sofa in the dark. The blue light from the television lit up his face. His eyes were puffy; he'd obviously been crying.
Given the timing, I was surprised to see him in that state. This was our victory lap. Here's our story in a nutshell: After a nightmarish surrogacy journey failed a year prior, burning through 19 embryos and $50k with no results to show for either, we had opted to lay this project down and lick our wounds for a few years. Then, an incredibly generous woman stepped forward and offered to donate her eggs for no compensation. We took this as a sign that we were meant to get back in the game. We decided to throw a Hail Mary pass and try again, and this time we found ourselves working with an excellent reproductive clinic and surrogate sent straight from heaven. It all clicked, we got pregnant on the first try.
Thoughts on Mother's Day
John Hart writes:
In our extended family, in our social circle, in our neighborhood and at our daughter's daycare, there are families with two dads, two moms, one mom and, yes, even a mom and a dad. But, from our kids' perspective, I think a mom-and-dad family wouldn't even seem like the norm.
They each know that there was a woman who gave birth to him and one to her but neither could take care of them. (My partner likes to avoid the expression "tummy mommy," because it still contains the word "mommy".) They have both had a daddy and a papa since nine months of age, so they don't know any differently. It's just the way it is.