Sponsored

A Financial Assistance Program Puts Surrogacy Within Reach for This Single Gay School Teacher

Gonzalo Curbelo shares how he decided to become a single dad and how an assistance program run by Men Having Babies helped put that dream within reach.

"I have come to realize that although it would seem ideal to start a family with a special someone, it does not mean you can't do it on your own," says single gay dad-to-be Gonzalo Curbelo. Gonzalo, a teacher living in Tampa, Florida, started his surrogacy journey over seven years ago when he began to save for surrogacy. Now, potentially only two months away from getting pregnant, Gonzalo is sharing how he decided to become a single dad and how an organization run by gay dads is helping him fulfill his dreams.


Gonzalo was born in Uruguay, but was raised in New York, the youngest of three boys. Growing up, Gonzalo struggled with his sexuality and was unsure if children would ever be part of his future. "Coming out was difficult for me and I remember that growing up gay was not easy either," recalled Gonzalo. As he got older, he was still very apprehensive about being gay and having children. It wasn't until he was in a long-term relationship that he started to feel differently. "I began seeing myself as a gay dad," said Gonzalo.

For gay men, becoming dads can be challenging, even without considering the biological and social constraints, and let alone going that path alone. When Gonzalo began to seriously consider surrogacy, he started by phoning and chatting with agencies. It soon became clear that surrogacy was potentially out of reach for this school teacher.

During one of his calls to an agency, they encouraged Gonzalo to look at the Men Having Babies' Gay Parenting Assistance Program (GPAP). GPAP helps put surrogacy within reach for many gay men whose dream it is to become a biological father but don't have the financial means. "At first I was apprehensive about a non-profit agency that would be able to help me," shared Gonzalo, "but I was starting to feel distraught after realizing that the road to fatherhood would be almost impossible – [it was] too expensive." Not ready to forfeit his dream of becoming a dad, Gonzalo decided to apply.

Gonzalo initially qualified for GPAP 1 – the Journey Booster – which is the first stage providing prospective parents with discounted or donated services from IVF, surrogacy, egg donation and legal service providers. However, even with these discounted services, Gonzalo still found it to be a financial struggle. He decided to apply for GPAP II – Direct Assistance – which, if selected, would provide cash grants and free services. Gonzalo applied for two years, until he qualified. Since then, Men Having Babies and the GPAP have made his journey possible. "[They] helped me with everything," said Gonzalo. "Through them that I was paired with a surrogacy agency and IVF specialists." For Gonzalo, the journey is still very expensive but GPAP has made it feasible and allowed him to reach a point in his path to fatherhood that at one time, he did not think possible.

Gonazlo is currently nearing the end of all the paperwork and is getting ready for the first embryo transfer. "I have finished all my testing with the fertility clinic in Texas, flew out to meet the surrogate, and I'm currently waiting on legal paperwork to get finalized," shared Gonzalo. It's been a long process, explained Gonzalo, but it is all working out.

Gonzalo with his surrogate

Although Gonzalo had some initial apprehension of being a single dad, he's focusing on all the things he's looking forward to with fatherhood. "There are so many things!" said Gonzalo. "I have been a teacher for the last thirteen-plus years and have helped shape the lives of so many little ones. Now, I am most excited about being able to have my own child and to see them grow and to offer all of my love to them."

Becoming a father is not the only new and exciting chapter in his life: in August, Gonzalo is relocating to Eastern Europe, to teach at an International Baccalaureate (IB) school. With family around the world and in Europe, Gonzalo saw this opportunity as a chance to raise his child as a caring world citizen. "I am looking forward to seeing the world with my child," said Gonzalo, "and having the experience of living in different countries and learning different languages."

Several years ago, Gonzalo didn't know if fatherhood was in his reach. After he began researching surrogacy as a single gay dad, it only seemed further away. But with the help of the Men Having Babies' Gay Parenting Assistance Program, Gonzalo is about to start his next chapter: fatherhood. And he has a message to other gay men out there, single and coupled: "No matter how difficult or impossible the journey may seem, you can do it," said Gonzalo. "There were times where I was discouraged because of financial reasons … [but] there is a lot of support out there. Just be patient and do your due diligence to get the help and guidance you need … it will all be worth it in the end!"

***

Find out more about Men Having Babies (MHB) and their fantastic Gay Parenting Assistance Program by attending their next event in Fort Lauderdale on June 9-10. They're excited to hold a conference for gay parents from both the USA and Latin America. Join them to hear practical and personal peer advice and opportunities to meet a wide range of leading providers from the USA and Canada.

Show Comments ()
Gay Dad Life

Broadway Performer's Surrogacy Journey Briefly Sidetracked — for One Very 'Wicked' Reason

"Broadway Husbands" Stephen and Bret explain the exciting reasons they had to hit pause on their surrogacy journey — but don't worry, they're back on track!

In the latest video of the Broadway Husbands sharing their path to fatherhood, Stephen and Bret explain their hiatus for the past 4 months. The couple have big news to share including a relocation, a job announcement, and the fact that they're getting ready to restart their journey (which they had to take a brief pause from since September).

Watch their video to find out their latest news.

Keep reading... Show less
Expert Advice

Your Surrogacy Questions —Answered by a Dad Via Surrogacy

We asked our Instagram community to send us their questions about becoming a dad through surrogacy

Dad Tyler Fontes (read his story here) recently shared his experience as a dad through surrogacy with our Instagram community via a question and answer session.

Read Joseph's responses below.

Keep reading... Show less
Popular

"We're Dads, the Greatest Thing We've Ever Been": Congrats to Gay Men Whose Families Recently Grew!

Wishing all of these gay dads whose families expanded a lifetime of happiness! Congrats to everyone in our community on their recent births and adoptions!

Gay men go through a lot of ups and downs on the path to parenthood. It can be one of the most emotionally draining times in our lives. But as each of these families who are celebrating births and adoptions this month agree: it's worth every hardship.

Congrats to the dads whose families grew this month!

Keep reading... Show less
What to Buy

Shop with a Purpose with Our 2019 Holiday Gift Guide

Want to find amazing gift ideas while *also* supporting LGBTQ-owned and allied businesses? Look no further than our 2019 holiday gift guide!

'Tis the season to show loved ones you care. And what better way to show you care, by also supported our LGBTQ+ community and allies whilst doing it! Shop (LGBTQ+) smart with these great suggestions below.

Keep reading... Show less
Diary of a Newly Out Gay Dad

A Newly Out Gay Dad Feels 'Demoted' After Divorce

Cameron Call showed up to his first family Thanksgiving since coming out and getting a divorce — and struggles to find himself "stuck with the singles."

Cameron Call, who came out in summer 2019, has generously agreed to chronicle his coming out journey for Gays With Kids over the next several months — the highs, lows and everything in between. Read his first article here.

Denial is an interesting thing. It's easy to think you're potentially above it, avoiding it, assume it doesn't apply to you because you'd NEVER do that, or maybe you're just simply avoiding it altogether. After finally coming out, I liked to think that I was done denying anything from now on. But unfortunately that's not the case.

And this fact became very clear to me over Thanksgiving.

Keep reading... Show less
Resources

New Report Details the 'Price of Parenthood' for LGBTQ People

A new report by the Family Equality Council takes a deep dive into the current state of cost for becoming a parent as an LGBTQ person

Parenthood is expensive. But parenthood while queer is still prohibitively costly for so many segments of the LGBTQ community interested in pursuing a family, according to a new repot by the Family Equality Council, titled, "Building LGBTQ+ Families: The Price of Parenthood."

Among the more interesting findings was this one: the cost of family planning is relatively similar for all LGBTQ people, regardless of income level. This shows "that the desire to have children exists regardless of financial security," the report's authors conclude.

Research for the report was conducted through an online survey of 500 LGBTQ adults over the age of 18, and was conducted between July 11-18, 2018. For comparison, the survey also included 1,004 adults who did not identify as LGBTQ.

Other interesting findings of the report include:

  • 29% of all LGBTQ+ respondents reported an annual household income under $25,000 compared to 22% of non-LGBTQ+ respondents.
  • 33% of black LGBTQ+ respondents, 32% of female-identified LGBTQ+ respondents, and 31% of trans/gender non-conforming LGBTQ+ respondents reported annual household incomes below $25,000.
  • Respondents for this survey were selected from among those who have volunteered to participate in online surveys and polls. All sample surveys and polls may be subject to multiple sources of error, including, but not limited to sampling error, coverage error, error associated with nonresponse, and error associated with question-wording and response options.29% of all LGBTQ+ respondents reported an annual household income under $25,000 compared to 22% of non-LGBTQ+ respondents.
  • 33% of black LGBTQ+ respondents, 32% of female-identified LGBTQ+ respondents, and 31% of trans/gender non-conforming LGBTQ+ respondents reported annual household incomes below $25,000.
  • Regardless of annual household income, 45-53% of LGBTQ+ millennials are planning to become parents for the first time or add another child to their family. Those making less than $25,000 a year are considering becoming parents at very similar rates as those making over $100,000.
  • Data from the Family Building Survey reveals that LGBTQ+ households making over $100,000 annually are considering the full range of paths to parenthood, from surrogacy and private adoption to foster care and IVF. The most popular options under consideration in this income bracket are private adoption (74% are considering), foster care (42%), and IVF or reciprocal IVF (21%). At the other end of the economic spectrum, for LGBTQ+ individuals in households making less than $25,000 annually, the most commonly considered paths to parenthood are intercourse (35% are considering), foster care (30%), and adoption (23%).

What to Buy

A Gift Guide for LGBTQ Inclusive Children's Books

Need some ideas for good LGBTQ-inclusive children's books? Look no further than our gift guide!

Every year we see more books released that feature our families, and we're here for it! We're especially excited for the day when diverse and LGBTQ+ inclusive books are less of "the odd one out" and rather considered part of every kids' everyday literacy.

To help us reach that day, we need to keep supporting our community and allies who write these stories. So here's a list of some of the great books that need to be in your library, and gifts to the other kids in your lives.

Keep reading... Show less

Fatherhood, the gay way

Get the latest from Gays With Kids delivered to your inbox!

Follow Gays With Kids

Powered by RebelMouse