Gay Dad Family Stories

This Women's History Month, Gay Men Honor the Gals Who Help Make Them Dads

Each and every man becomes a dad with the help of a woman. We asked gay dads to honor one who helped them along in their path to parenthood to help us celebrate women's history month.

Each and every one of us became (or will become) a dad with the help of a woman--more often than not, with the help of multiple women. So this Women's History Month, we choose to celebrate these women by asking you to tell us a bit about them. Enjoy these inspiring stories below. Want to honor a woman in your life who has helped you become a dad? Tell us about her at dads@gayswithkids.com


BJ and Frankie on their "incredible" surrogate


"We are fortunate to have so many incredible women in our lives that helped us become the people we are today. There is one woman in particular that we want to honor; @kathyfrenette. She helped us create our family through surrogacy. If it wasn't for her, we would not be blessed with the most incredible son ever! There are great people in this world and you are one of them.Your tenacity, strength, selflessness, kindness, are a few qualities that make you an incredible mother and role model to others. You are and will be forever a part of our family!"

Erik's message to their daughters' birth moms

"As hard as it was to make that choice, you chose life. You didn't know us long, but you knew our hearts instantly. You gave us your gift of life and because of that you gave us life. Our hearts swell with gratitude as we thank you for your gift, for your strength, endurance and perseverance."

Larry thanks one of the most extraordinary woman he knows

Who does Larry want to honor this Women's History Month? "Our son's Birthmother, obviously. 😊 Very big decision for a young woman to make, placing her child for adoption. Very grateful she chose David and I. ❤️"

Jeff is forever grateful to his Intentional Parenting Partner 

Jeff, Mayeti, Abeba (10) and Alice (7)

"The incredible woman who helped me was the friend with whom I created an Intentional Parent Partnership. She is a smart, beautiful, progressive attorney who has done great things helping many people over many years. She wanted to be a parent and didn't feel she could give up her career or manage it as a single woman. We talked about coparenting together for over a year and thoughtfully considered all aspects. Then we took the leap of faith! We have 2 amazing daughters who are 10 and 7. We live in 2 homes 2 miles apart and share the financial, emotional, logistical, spiritual, and aspirational day to day realities of supporting their growth. Our partnership was and remains intentional, cooperative, and child-centric. I thank this amazing woman for taking that leap of faith!"

Mark became a father with the help and inspiration of one particular woman

"Chemene opened our world to the older adoption world, connecting us with a great adoption agency through her grassroots support group Long Island Adoption Families."

Dads Ben and Aaron couldn't be the wonderful dads they are today without their nanny

"Our nanny, Linda, is the perfect example of a strong, loving, and caring woman. The definition of selfless. She teaches our daughter to be kind, independent, and FUN! All while allowing us to maintain our own individual identity. She never asks anything from us and yet, seems to always be there. She has welcomed us into her family and has become a permanent member of ours. We love Linda."

Dad Joseph speaks about the love and support from his number 1 fan, his mom

"My mom is everything to me. If it wasn't for her I don't know how I'd be here with my girls today. At the age of 68 she traveled half way across the world with me and held my hand during the worst of times when my daughters were born. Her continued support and strength is what keeps me going everyday. I hope and pray my daughters grow up to be the woman my mom is."

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Gay Dad Photo Essays

Celebrate Mother's Day This Year by Checking Out These Fabulous Lesbian Insta-Mom Accounts

Most of our content focuses on gay, bi and trans dad. But this Mother's Day, we're bringing you ten two-mom families worth following on Instagram.

Although the majority of our content focuses on gay, bi and trans dads and dads-to-be, we're always excited for Mother's Day. It's when we get to show our love for all of the AMAZING sister-accounts out there that celebrate lesbian moms!

This Mother's Day, we asked a few of our fav two-mom Instagram accounts how they celebrate the special day, what they love most about being a mom, and what they've learned in the process.

Be sure to follow these awesome lesbian and bi women celebrating all things motherhood on Instagram.

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Personal Essays by Gay Dads

No, My Kids Don't Have a Mom; But I'm a Dad Who Learned From the Best

When his mom passed, Bradley Pounds couldn't imagine becoming a dad without her by his side. "But storms pass," he said, and "dreams endure."

A month before our first child was born via surrogacy, I came home late from work to find my husband sitting on the sofa in the dark. The blue light from the television lit up his face. His eyes were puffy; he'd obviously been crying.

Given the timing, I was surprised to see him in that state. This was our victory lap. Here's our story in a nutshell: After a nightmarish surrogacy journey failed a year prior, burning through 19 embryos and $50k with no results to show for either, we had opted to lay this project down and lick our wounds for a few years. Then, an incredibly generous woman stepped forward and offered to donate her eggs for no compensation. We took this as a sign that we were meant to get back in the game. We decided to throw a Hail Mary pass and try again, and this time we found ourselves working with an excellent reproductive clinic and surrogate sent straight from heaven. It all clicked, we got pregnant on the first try.

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Change the World

Who are the Women Who Help Gay Men Become Dads?

This Women's History Month, we're asking gay dads to tell us about one woman who helped them on their path to fatherhood.

Here's the thing guys: though lord knows we keep trying, gay men cannot, unfortunately, make babies all on our own. While we await a modern miracle, each and every one of us become a dad with the help of a woman--and more often than not, with the help of multiple women. So this Women's History Month, we want you to help us celebrate these women by telling us about one of them. It could be a birth mother, surrogate or egg donor. Or maybe a mom, sister, or friend. Whoever she is, and however she supported you, we want to hear about it! Tell us a little bit about her in the comments or in an email to dads@gayswithkids.com for a chance to be featured in an upcoming post.

Entertainment

Single Gay Dad Featured on Season Three of GLOW

Actor Kevin Cahoon joins the Gorgeous Ladies of Wresting in Vegas as a single gay dad — and drag queen — on Season Three of the hit Netflix show

For a couple of years now, Hollywood has been obsessed with gay dad characters (and who can blame them?) But the latest show to get hip to a story line featuring gay man raising kids is Netflix's GLOW, which explores a female wresting troop in the late 1980s.

But GLOW is helping represent a gay character that rarely gets time in the limelight:the single gay dad. In Season three of the hit comedy — which stars Alison Brie, Betty Gilpin, and Marc Maron — actor Kevin Cahoon joins the case as Bobby Barnes, a single gay father who plays a female impersonator. (80s divas only, of course — Joan Collins and Babs among them)


"I've never done female impersonation," the openly gay actor told OutSmart Magazine, "so I tried to learn really quick. You will know them all; I was very familiar with all of them. There were plenty of talk shows and performances on YouTube to study. I learned that their breathing was very informative."

A single gay dad AND drag queen on television? It's about damn time if you ask us.

Read the full interview with Cahoon here.

Politics

Utah Court Rules Gay Couples Can't Be Excluded From Surrogacy Contracts

The Utah Supreme Court found in favor of a gay couple attempting to enter into a surrogacy contract.

DRAKE BUSATH/ UTCOURTS.GOV

Earlier this month, the Utah Supreme Court ruled that a same-sex couples can't be excluded from entering into enforceable surrogacy contracts, and sent a case concerning a gay male couple back to trial court to approve their petition for a surrogacy arrangement.

As reported in Gay City News, the case concerns Utah's 2005 law on surrogacy, which was enacted prior to the legalization of same-sex marriage in the state. As a result, the content of the law is gendered, saying that surrogacy contracts should only be enforceable if the "intended mother" is unable to bear a child. When a gay couple approached District Judge Jeffrey C. Wilcox to enter into a surrogacy arrangement, he denied them, arguing that the state's law only concerned opposite sex couples.

"This opinion is an important contribution to the growing body of cases adopting a broad construction of the precedent created by Obergefell v. Hodges and the Supreme Court's subsequent decision in Pavan v. Smith," according to GCN. "It's also worth noting that same-sex couples in Utah now enjoy a right denied them here in New York, where compensated gestational surrogacy contracts remain illegal for all couples."

Read the full article here.

Personal Essays by Gay Dads

Thoughts and Prayers Aren't Working:​ One Father's Plea for Gun Reform

One gay dad's plea to our leaders to enact sensible gun control

My articles on GaysWithKids aspire to be lighthearted, helpful and humorous. This one won't be any of those things. Because I'm feeling heavyhearted, helpless and sad. Last week I woke up to news of yet another mass shooting. This time at a family-friendly Garlic Festival in northern California. I don't know if it's because this one hit so close to home, or if it's because the headline included a picture of the innocent 6-year old who was among those killed, but I am overcome with emotion. But mostly I am angry. And I don't know what to do with my anger.

Then, just a few days later came two additional horrific mass shootings that stole the lives of at least 32 more innocent people, many of them children. And then there's the "everyday" gun violence that plagues American cities like Chicago, where guns injured another 46 people this past weekend alone… creating so much turmoil, a hospital had to briefly stop taking patients.

How does one verbalize the collective sadness felt around the world? One can't. And that's why I am asking everyone reading this article to commit to getting involved in some way, to help end this epidemic once and for all. Even though the solution is so obvious, we can't allow ourselves to become numb to mass shootings. Because becoming numb isn't going to save anyone.

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Politics

Gay Russian Dads Forced to Flee Moscow

Fearing the Russian government might take their adopted kids into custody because of their sexual orientation, Andrei Vaganov and Yevgeny Yerofeyev fled Moscow

A married couple in Russia, with two adopted children, were just forced the flee their home in Moscow for fear that the authorities would take their children away, according to German news site Deutsche Welle.

Trouble started last month after investigators in Russia opened a criminal inquiry into the proceedings that had allowed the gay couple, Andrei Vaganov and Yevgeny Yerofeyev, to legally adopt the two boys —adoption by LGBTQ people in Russia has typically not been recognized. The government became aware of the adoption proceedings after the gay couple brought their 12-year-old son to the hospital, who was complaining of a stomachache. The boy was fine, but after he mentioned offhand that he was adopted and lived with two fathers, the doctor called the police.

Andrei and Yevgeny granted an interview with Deutsche Welle after escaping Moscow, but on the advice of their lawyers have yet to disclose where they are currently located. Here is a quick recap of that conversation:

"In connection with the 'propaganda of non-traditional values,' the state representatives are accused of having neglected their duty of supervision," Andrei said, when asked to explain on what basis the Russian government might take his children into custody. "This means that lesbian couples could even have their biological children taken away because, through their lifestyle choices, they propagate "certain values."

Yevgeny also explained the events that led to the couple's harrowing escape "I was alone in Moscow at that time. A week after Andrei and the children had left the country, there was a knock on my door, but nobody called 'police, open up.' After half an hour the violent knocking stopped. My parents' home was searched. They were looking for the children and our Danish marriage certificate because we got married in Denmark in 2016. My friends then got me out of the country."

Read the full interview here.

Fatherhood, the gay way

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