Gay Dad Family Stories

This Women's History Month, Gay Men Honor the Gals Who Help Make Them Dads

Each and every man becomes a dad with the help of a woman. We asked gay dads to honor one who helped them along in their path to parenthood to help us celebrate women's history month.

Each and every one of us became (or will become) a dad with the help of a woman--more often than not, with the help of multiple women. So this Women's History Month, we choose to celebrate these women by asking you to tell us a bit about them. Enjoy these inspiring stories below. Want to honor a woman in your life who has helped you become a dad? Tell us about her at dads@gayswithkids.com


BJ and Frankie on their "incredible" surrogate


"We are fortunate to have so many incredible women in our lives that helped us become the people we are today. There is one woman in particular that we want to honor; @kathyfrenette. She helped us create our family through surrogacy. If it wasn't for her, we would not be blessed with the most incredible son ever! There are great people in this world and you are one of them.Your tenacity, strength, selflessness, kindness, are a few qualities that make you an incredible mother and role model to others. You are and will be forever a part of our family!"

Erik's message to their daughters' birth moms

"As hard as it was to make that choice, you chose life. You didn't know us long, but you knew our hearts instantly. You gave us your gift of life and because of that you gave us life. Our hearts swell with gratitude as we thank you for your gift, for your strength, endurance and perseverance."

Larry thanks one of the most extraordinary woman he knows

Who does Larry want to honor this Women's History Month? "Our son's Birthmother, obviously. 😊 Very big decision for a young woman to make, placing her child for adoption. Very grateful she chose David and I. ❤️"

Jeff is forever grateful to his Intentional Parenting Partner 

Jeff, Mayeti, Abeba (10) and Alice (7)

"The incredible woman who helped me was the friend with whom I created an Intentional Parent Partnership. She is a smart, beautiful, progressive attorney who has done great things helping many people over many years. She wanted to be a parent and didn't feel she could give up her career or manage it as a single woman. We talked about coparenting together for over a year and thoughtfully considered all aspects. Then we took the leap of faith! We have 2 amazing daughters who are 10 and 7. We live in 2 homes 2 miles apart and share the financial, emotional, logistical, spiritual, and aspirational day to day realities of supporting their growth. Our partnership was and remains intentional, cooperative, and child-centric. I thank this amazing woman for taking that leap of faith!"

Mark became a father with the help and inspiration of one particular woman

"Chemene opened our world to the older adoption world, connecting us with a great adoption agency through her grassroots support group Long Island Adoption Families."

Dads Ben and Aaron couldn't be the wonderful dads they are today without their nanny

"Our nanny, Linda, is the perfect example of a strong, loving, and caring woman. The definition of selfless. She teaches our daughter to be kind, independent, and FUN! All while allowing us to maintain our own individual identity. She never asks anything from us and yet, seems to always be there. She has welcomed us into her family and has become a permanent member of ours. We love Linda."

Dad Joseph speaks about the love and support from his number 1 fan, his mom

"My mom is everything to me. If it wasn't for her I don't know how I'd be here with my girls today. At the age of 68 she traveled half way across the world with me and held my hand during the worst of times when my daughters were born. Her continued support and strength is what keeps me going everyday. I hope and pray my daughters grow up to be the woman my mom is."

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Personal Essays by Gay Dads

A Painful Christmas Taught This Dad the Meaning of Home

Erik Alexander spent Christmas 2005 in Los Angeles after being displaced from his New Orleans home after Hurricane Katrina — it was a painful experience, but one that taught him the meaning of home.

Everything that happens in our lives is meant to teach us something. These experiences — good, the bad, and the ugly —accumulate to help us grow into the people we are. I see how true this is with each passing day.

In 2005, my life was turned upside down. Katrina blew everyone's life to hell and then we had to pick up what was left and learn to live again. After becoming a 'refugee' in Memphis, I decided to move out west because I had always wanted to live in LA. I had stars in my eyes and dreams of making it big. FEMA money in my pocket, I loaded up my little blue Mazda Protege and started my journey across the country to become a famous pop singer. It was just after Thanksgiving when I moved, and I was lucky enough to have a couple of sweet friends to meet up with when I arrived. Christmas time was quickly approaching, but I wasn't ready for it.

Y'all, I loooove the Holidays. I always have. There are so many things about this time of year that are special to me... the decorations, the cheerful people, and most of all my family. I didn't realize how big of a role family played until I moved. I had to relearn how to enjoy Christmas.

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Gay Dad Photo Essays

Gay Men and Their Kids Celebrate Hanukkah

Photos of gay men and their kids celebrating the first night of Hanukkah

Happy Hanukkah! We've loved seeing all the family pics from dads and their kids celebrating the first night of the holiday . Enjoy some of our favorites. Have your own? Send them to dads@gayswithkids.com!

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Gay Dad Photo Essays

These Dads and Kids Came to Sleigh (Their Santa Photos)

Our annual roundup of gay dads and their kids sleighing their family photo with Santa!

Christmas is never complete without trekking to your local mall for a quick pic with Santa! And these dads and their kids didn't disappoint. Check out this photo essay of gay dads and their kids serving some major lewks alongside Saint Nick!

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Personal Essays by Gay Dads

A Gay Dad Gains Clarity After a Health Scare

A recent health scare helped give Erik Alexander clarity.

Sometimes fear can cripple the mind and hinder ones judgement. Having children of my own, I have come to grips with accepting the things I cannot change and learned to take action when there is no other choice. When it comes to my own personal health, the future and well being of my family gives me all the clarity I need to make the right decision about any kind of health scare.

This episode is dedicated to all the parents out there that are going through or have gone through similar situations.

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Gay Dad Family Stories

This European Couple Became Dads Through a U.K.-Based Surrogacy Program

Janno, from Estonia, and Matthias, from Belgium, were accepted into the "Childlessness Overcome Through Surrogacy" Program.

Janno Talu, an accountant, and Matthias Nijs, an art gallery director, were born in different parts of Europe. Janno, 39, is from Estonia, and Matthias, 28, is from Belgium. Their paths crossed when the two moved to London, each from their different corners of the European Union.

Janno relocated to London earlier than Matthias, when he was 24, and his main reason for the move was his sexuality. "Although Estonia is considered one of the more progressive countries in Eastern Europe, when it comes to gay rights, it is still decades behind Western society in terms of tolerance," said Janno. "And things are not moving in the right direction." In 2016, same-sex civil union became legal, but the junior party in the current coalition government is seeking to repeal the same-sex partnership bill. "In addition," Janno continued, "they wish to include the definition of marriage as a union between a man and a woman in the country's constitution. Even today, there are people in Estonia who liken homosexuality to pedophilia, which is why I decided to start a new life in the UK, where I could finally be myself."

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Surrogacy for Gay Men

Interested in Surrogacy? Check Out These Bay Area Events This Weekend

If you're in the Bay Area this weekend, two major events are happening that will be of interest for dads-to-be and surrogacy advocates: the Men Having Babies San Francisco Conference, and the SF Advocacy and Research Forum for Surrogacy and LGBT Parenting (ARF)

If you're in San Francisco or the surrounding area, clear your calendar this weekend. Two events are happening simultaneously that are significant for dads-to-be AND surrogacy advocates: the Men Having Babies San Francisco Conference, and the SF Advocacy and Research Forum for Surrogacy and LGBT Parenting (ARF). For an outlines of both events, check out below.

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News

Gay Dads Show Up at Boston Event to Drown Out Anti-Trans Protesters

When Trystan Reese found out protesters were planning to show up to an event in Boston he was presenting at, he put out a call to his community for help — and gay dads showed up.

A couple months ago, Trystan Reese, a gay, trans dad based in Portland, Oregon, took to Instagram to share a moving, if incredibly concerning, experience. Reese, who works with Family Equality Council, was speaking at an event in Boston, and learned before his appearance that a group of protesters were planning to attend.

"As a trans person, I was terrified to be targeted by anti-LGBTQ people and experienced genuine fear for my own safety," Trystan wrote. In response, he did what many LGBTQ people would do in a similar situation — reach out to his community in Boston, and ask for their support. "And they came," he wrote. But it wasn't just anyone within the LGBTQ community that came to his defense, he emphasized — "you know who came? Gay men. Gay dads, to be exact. They came, ready to block people from coming in, ready to call building security, ready to protect me so I could lead my event. They did it without question and without reward. They did it because it was the right thing to do."

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Fatherhood, the gay way

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