Gay Dad Family Stories

This Women's History Month, Gay Men Honor the Gals Who Help Make Them Dads

Each and every man becomes a dad with the help of a woman. We asked gay dads to honor one who helped them along in their path to parenthood to help us celebrate women's history month.

Each and every one of us became (or will become) a dad with the help of a woman--more often than not, with the help of multiple women. So this Women's History Month, we choose to celebrate these women by asking you to tell us a bit about them. Enjoy these inspiring stories below. Want to honor a woman in your life who has helped you become a dad? Tell us about her at dads@gayswithkids.com


BJ and Frankie on their "incredible" surrogate


"We are fortunate to have so many incredible women in our lives that helped us become the people we are today. There is one woman in particular that we want to honor; @kathyfrenette. She helped us create our family through surrogacy. If it wasn't for her, we would not be blessed with the most incredible son ever! There are great people in this world and you are one of them.Your tenacity, strength, selflessness, kindness, are a few qualities that make you an incredible mother and role model to others. You are and will be forever a part of our family!"

Erik's message to their daughters' birth moms

"As hard as it was to make that choice, you chose life. You didn't know us long, but you knew our hearts instantly. You gave us your gift of life and because of that you gave us life. Our hearts swell with gratitude as we thank you for your gift, for your strength, endurance and perseverance."

Larry thanks one of the most extraordinary woman he knows

Who does Larry want to honor this Women's History Month? "Our son's Birthmother, obviously. 😊 Very big decision for a young woman to make, placing her child for adoption. Very grateful she chose David and I. ❤️"

Jeff is forever grateful to his Intentional Parenting Partner 

Jeff, Mayeti, Abeba (10) and Alice (7)

"The incredible woman who helped me was the friend with whom I created an Intentional Parent Partnership. She is a smart, beautiful, progressive attorney who has done great things helping many people over many years. She wanted to be a parent and didn't feel she could give up her career or manage it as a single woman. We talked about coparenting together for over a year and thoughtfully considered all aspects. Then we took the leap of faith! We have 2 amazing daughters who are 10 and 7. We live in 2 homes 2 miles apart and share the financial, emotional, logistical, spiritual, and aspirational day to day realities of supporting their growth. Our partnership was and remains intentional, cooperative, and child-centric. I thank this amazing woman for taking that leap of faith!"

Mark became a father with the help and inspiration of one particular woman

"Chemene opened our world to the older adoption world, connecting us with a great adoption agency through her grassroots support group Long Island Adoption Families."

Dads Ben and Aaron couldn't be the wonderful dads they are today without their nanny

"Our nanny, Linda, is the perfect example of a strong, loving, and caring woman. The definition of selfless. She teaches our daughter to be kind, independent, and FUN! All while allowing us to maintain our own individual identity. She never asks anything from us and yet, seems to always be there. She has welcomed us into her family and has become a permanent member of ours. We love Linda."

Dad Joseph speaks about the love and support from his number 1 fan, his mom

"My mom is everything to me. If it wasn't for her I don't know how I'd be here with my girls today. At the age of 68 she traveled half way across the world with me and held my hand during the worst of times when my daughters were born. Her continued support and strength is what keeps me going everyday. I hope and pray my daughters grow up to be the woman my mom is."

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Gay Dad Photo Essays

Celebrate Mother's Day This Year by Checking Out These Fabulous Lesbian Insta-Mom Accounts

Most of our content focuses on gay, bi and trans dad. But this Mother's Day, we're bringing you ten two-mom families worth following on Instagram.

Although the majority of our content focuses on gay, bi and trans dads and dads-to-be, we're always excited for Mother's Day. It's when we get to show our love for all of the AMAZING sister-accounts out there that celebrate lesbian moms!

This Mother's Day, we asked a few of our fav two-mom Instagram accounts how they celebrate the special day, what they love most about being a mom, and what they've learned in the process.

Be sure to follow these awesome lesbian and bi women celebrating all things motherhood on Instagram.

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Personal Essays by Gay Dads

No, My Kids Don't Have a Mom; But I'm a Dad Who Learned From the Best

When his mom passed, Bradley Pounds couldn't imagine becoming a dad without her by his side. "But storms pass," he said, and "dreams endure."

A month before our first child was born via surrogacy, I came home late from work to find my husband sitting on the sofa in the dark. The blue light from the television lit up his face. His eyes were puffy; he'd obviously been crying.

Given the timing, I was surprised to see him in that state. This was our victory lap. Here's our story in a nutshell: After a nightmarish surrogacy journey failed a year prior, burning through 19 embryos and $50k with no results to show for either, we had opted to lay this project down and lick our wounds for a few years. Then, an incredibly generous woman stepped forward and offered to donate her eggs for no compensation. We took this as a sign that we were meant to get back in the game. We decided to throw a Hail Mary pass and try again, and this time we found ourselves working with an excellent reproductive clinic and surrogate sent straight from heaven. It all clicked, we got pregnant on the first try.

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Change the World

Who are the Women Who Help Gay Men Become Dads?

This Women's History Month, we're asking gay dads to tell us about one woman who helped them on their path to fatherhood.

Here's the thing guys: though lord knows we keep trying, gay men cannot, unfortunately, make babies all on our own. While we await a modern miracle, each and every one of us become a dad with the help of a woman--and more often than not, with the help of multiple women. So this Women's History Month, we want you to help us celebrate these women by telling us about one of them. It could be a birth mother, surrogate or egg donor. Or maybe a mom, sister, or friend. Whoever she is, and however she supported you, we want to hear about it! Tell us a little bit about her in the comments or in an email to dads@gayswithkids.com for a chance to be featured in an upcoming post.

Change the World

Gay Dads Featured in Enfamil Commercial

A new ad for Enfamil showcases two gay men talking about their daughter.

The best kind of inclusion is when you're not singled out but instead included right along with everyone else. This kind inclusion inspires others to pursue their own dreams and desires, just like any one else. As part of our popular culture, we know that brands are uniquely suited to inspire us in this way.

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Cooking with Kids: An Interview with David Burtka

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Politics

Daughter of Married Gay Couple Who Used Surrogacy Abroad Isn't Citizen, Says U.S. State Department

A decades-old law can be used to discriminate against gay couples who use surrogacy abroad.

James Derek Mize and his husband Jonathan Gregg are both American citizens, but their daughter, born via a surrogate, may not be, at least according to the U.S. State Department.

The New York Times took an in-depth look at this case in a piece that ran in the paper yesterday. While James was born and raised in the U.S, his husband Jonathan was originally born in Britain. That may be enough, according to the State Department, to deny their daughter citizenship.

"We're both Americans; we're married," James told the New York Times. "We just found it really hard to believe that we could have a child that wouldn't be able to be in our country."

According to decades-old immigration law, a child born abroad must have a biological connection to a parent that is a U.S. citizen in order to be eligible to receive citizenship upon birth. Children born via surrogacy are determined to be "out of wedlock," according to the Times report," which then requires a more onerous process to qualify for citizenship, such as demonstrating that a biological parent is not only an American citizen, but has spent at least five years in the country.

The intent of the law, which dates back to the 1950s, was to prevent people from claiming, falsely, that they are the children of U.S. parents. But LGBTQ advocates argue this archaic policy is being used intentionally to discriminates against same-sex couples, who often have to rely on donors, IVF and surrogacy in order to have biologically children, and are thus held to a higher standard.

"This is where our life is. This is where our jobs are," James told the Times. "Our daughter can't be here, but she has no one else to care for her."

Read the whole story here.


Popular

Couple That Met at the Gym Now Spotting Each Other Through Fatherhood

How two real New-Yorkers became two soft-hearted dads

This article is part of our family feature series with Circle Surrogacy, a surrogacy agency that has been helping LGBTQ+ singles and couples realize their dream of parenthood for the past 20 years.

Byron and Matthew Slosar, both 41, met ten years ago at one of New York City's Equinox gyms. "I asked him for a spot on the bench press," smiled Byron. The couple were married September 22, 2012.

Surrogacy was always the way Byron and Matthew wanted to become parents. They chose to wait and become dads later in life, until they had established careers and the financial means to pursue their chosen path.

They signed with Circle Surrogacy after interviewing a few agencies. "We immediately connected with their entire staff, particularly Anne Watson who lovingly dealt with my healthy neuroses on the daily for 1.5 years," said Byron. "They definitely personalized the service and helped us understand all 2,000 moving parts." The dads-to-be were also very impressed with how much emotional support they received from Circle.

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