A Dad Reflects on How Far Fatherhood Has Come for Gay Men
"I grew up closeted and conflicted, scared to be gay because of humiliation, fear of AIDS and because it was viewed as an affliction," said gay dad Frank Bua in a moving Instagram post recently. "Most importantly I was devastated that I could never have kids."
On the day his twins' reached a birthday milestone, dad Frank Bua took a moment to reflect on Instagram how far his life has come.
"My kids turn ten years old today. Double digits. I cannot begin to comprehend this milestone, for so many reasons. It has all gone by so fast, and I never thought any of it would be possible.
I grew up closeted and conflicted, scared to be gay because of humiliation, fear of AIDS and because it was viewed as an affliction. Most importantly I was devastated that I could never have kids.
And then somehow things changed. Society evolved and doors opened.
I found my partner at a time where having kids as a gay man — while prohibitive — was possible, and a priority for both of us.
And after exploring adoption, a beautiful and viable form of developing a family, we turned to surrogacy. And after fits and starts, we found out that we were pregnant. And when we went for the six week ultrasound, the doctor said, "here's the heartbeat," and then after a pause, "there's the other heartbeat!"
From that moment our world forever changed.
For a kid who grew up not liking himself to wake up today as the father of ten year olds is just as overwhelming as that moment in the doctor's office. The arc of the moral universe is amazing, and I couldn't be more grateful to find myself in the other side of the rainbow."
Frank, his twins, and his husband Scott